<\/p>\n
Flirting is super fun and easy\u2014and by that, we mean that it’s impossible and fraught with peril. \u00a0 You come on too strong, and suddenly your cousin is refusing to marry you.<\/a> \u00a0Too subtle, and \u00a0your crush goes off with some hunky Hufflepuff.<\/a> Striking the perfect balance between clingy and cocky is crucial to getting \u00a0your crush’s attention\u2014and the following literary characters \u00a0know just how to do it. Kind of. Like 50% of them do. Eh, maybe closer to 35%.<\/p>\n Moby-Dick <\/strong><\/p>\n Be elusive. Play so hard to get that they’re slowly driven insane. And when they finally find you, which they will, flip their boat and kill their friends. \u00a0Works every time. Wait, what was the goal here again?<\/p>\n Gandalf the Grey <\/strong><\/p>\n Recruit them for an epic, near-impossible \u00a0quest revolving around good, evil, and jewelry.<\/p>\n Katherina Minola <\/strong><\/p>\n I like to be violently standoffish until the guy derides me into submission\u2014an end result that \u00a0society \u00a0ought to find troubling and offensive, but instead they’re like, “Way to go, dude!” God I hate the patriarchy.<\/p>\n Mr. Darcy<\/strong><\/p>\n I go with the “insult her \u00a0a bunch then ask her to marry you” strategy. It usually doesn’t go over well the first time around<\/a>, but the second time, it works like a charm.<\/a><\/p>\n The Shark from Jaws (the novel, not the movie)<\/strong><\/p>\n What the whale said.<\/p>\n Jay Gatsby<\/strong><\/p>\n First, get your hands on a million dollars. Second, transform yourself into an \u00a0 entirely different person. Third, move in across from your \u00a0 crush and throw a ton of insane parties. Fourth, repeat the past. Don’t stop repeating, no matter what<\/a>. Everything is going to work out great, and\/or you’re going to die and only 3 people will come to your funeral.<\/p>\n Juliet Capulet<\/strong><\/p>\n Always go for someone \u00a0who happens to be the sworn enemy of your entire family. Then marry them 24 hours after your first date. What could possibly go wrong?<\/p>\n Harry Potter <\/strong><\/p>\n I think this tells you pretty much all you need to know.<\/a><\/p>\n Lavender Brown <\/strong><\/p>\n Be obvious. Be intense. Be clingy. \u00a0Will this result in long-term relationship? Hard to say. But no.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Flirting is super fun and easy\u2014and by that, we mean that it’s impossible and fraught with peril. \u00a0 You come on too strong, and suddenly your cousin is refusing to marry you. \u00a0Too subtle, and continue reading<\/span>