{"id":1404032,"date":"2018-12-18T11:00:24","date_gmt":"2018-12-18T16:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/community.sparknotes.com\/?p=1404032"},"modified":"2019-02-11T14:02:58","modified_gmt":"2019-02-11T19:02:58","slug":"pick-a-fictional-dad-and-well-tell-you-what-to-get-yours-for-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/pick-a-fictional-dad-and-well-tell-you-what-to-get-yours-for-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"Pick a Fictional Dad and We&#8217;ll Tell You What to Get Yours for Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/img.sparknotes.com\/content\/sparklife\/sparktalk\/june15dadsrankedMAIN_LargeWide.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"701\" height=\"394\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Nobody has a clue what to get their dad for Christmas because all dads are unknowable. I have never gotten my dad a single solitary present that DIDN&#8217;T elicit a tepid \u201cWow\u201d or a fake-enthusiastic \u201cI can&#8217;t wait to use this\u201d while he was sitting there holding it wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Dads are different type of person altogether. They need NOTHING, and they want even less. They may require potato chips occasionally to subsist but then that&#8217;s it, they&#8217;re good for a month.<\/p>\n<p>So dads are impossible to shop for, but you still have to get them something, and we&#8217;re quickly running out of time. If you haven&#8217;t bought your dad a present yet and you&#8217;re panicking, don&#8217;t worry! Just think about the literary dad that sounds most like yours and click accordingly, and then \u00a0FEEL FREE TO PANIC BECAUSE GOOD GOD, WE&#8217;RE ONLY DAYS AWAY AND YOU HAVE NOTHING, HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nobody has a clue what to get their dad for Christmas because all dads are unknowable. I have never gotten my dad a single solitary present that DIDN&#8217;T elicit a tepid \u201cWow\u201d or a fake-enthusiastic   <a class=\"continue-reading\" href=\"#\"><span class=\"continue-text\">continue reading<\/span><svg class=\"continue-icon\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"24\" height=\"24\" alt=\"\">\n    <path fill=\"#007acd\" fill-rule=\"nonzero\" d=\"M13.442 5.558L19.885 12l-6.443 6.442-.884-.884 4.934-4.934L4 12.625v-1.25l13.492-.001-4.934-4.932.884-.884z\"><\/path>\n  <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[278,25016],"tags":[438,691,8833,24983,524,32,6846,3345,13098,756,248,20770,630],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1404032"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1404032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1404032\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1404032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1404032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1404032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}