{"id":1407326,"date":"2024-04-18T11:37:45","date_gmt":"2024-04-18T15:37:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sparknotes.com\/blog\/?p=1407326"},"modified":"2024-04-18T11:37:47","modified_gmt":"2024-04-18T15:37:47","slug":"how-to-tell-if-youre-about-to-die-in-a-shakespeare-play","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/how-to-tell-if-youre-about-to-die-in-a-shakespeare-play\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Tell if You’re About to Die in a Shakespeare Play"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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The chances that you’ll one day find yourself in a Shakespeare play are very small. However, the chances that you’ll SURVIVE being in a Shakespeare play are smaller still. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow exactly,\u201d one might ask, \u201ccan my chances of surviving a Shakespeare play actually be SMALLER than my chances of being in one at all?\u201d Look, I don’t know what to tell you. Just know that you’ll probably never find yourself in a Shakespeare play, and if you somehow do you’ll probably die, but even if you don’t end up in one you might die anyway. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can’t tell you how to know if you’re about to die in real life (that’s a fun game of chance we’re all playing every day), but here are the signs you’re about to bite it in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1.<\/strong> If soothsayers are following you around delivering portents of doom, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.<\/strong> If you have an illegitimate son with a chip on his shoulder who’s constantly lurking nearby, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.<\/strong> If your husband suspects you might be cheating on him despite having no evidence whatsoever, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4.<\/strong> If there’s poison literally anywhere in the immediate vicinity, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5.<\/strong> If you’ve just been knocked off your horse at the height of battle, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6.<\/strong> If you’re becoming increasingly mad with power even while everyone in your social circle is begging you to chill, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7.<\/strong> If you’ve agreed to spy on a member of the Danish royal family, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8.<\/strong> If you enjoy making puns about death, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9.<\/strong> If you’ve fallen in love with someone whose family just so happens to be in a decades-old blood feud with YOUR family, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10.<\/strong> If you’re abruptly seeing ghosts that no one else can see, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11.<\/strong> If you recently had a dream about your death but you’re perfectly content to ignore it, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12.<\/strong> If you’ve committed murder (be it fratricide, regicide, or both) for political gain, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

13.<\/strong> If a problem arises for which the only solution is \u201cBETTER FAKE MY OWN DEATH POSTHASTE,\u201d you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play. Either that, or get married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14.<\/strong> If you’ve ever held a skull aloft while soliloquizing at it, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

15.<\/strong> If you’d rather DIE than give your enemy the satisfaction of knowing they’ve won, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

16.<\/strong> If you’ve gotten mixed up in a cycle of revenge between a Roman general and the Queen of the Goths, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

17.<\/strong> If you’re a misanthrope, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

18.<\/strong> If witches keep showing up and saying prophecies at you, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

19.<\/strong> If a bunch of guys are encircling you and pulling out daggers after luring you to the Senate, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

20.<\/strong> If a bear is chasing you while a clown watches from afar, you’re probably about to die in a Shakespeare play.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The chances that you’ll one day find yourself in a Shakespeare play are very small. However, the chances that you’ll SURVIVE being in a Shakespeare play are smaller still.  \u201cHow exactly,\u201d one might ask, \u201ccan continue reading<\/span>\n <\/path>\n <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[5161,524,7915,25017,2344,171,248,25049,8561],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1407326"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1407326"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1407326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1449707,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1407326\/revisions\/1449707"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1407326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1407326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1407326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}