{"id":1407447,"date":"2021-06-04T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-04T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sparknotes.com\/blog\/?p=1407447"},"modified":"2024-12-03T10:14:05","modified_gmt":"2024-12-03T15:14:05","slug":"everything-jane-austen-lied-to-me-about","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"\/blog\/everything-jane-austen-lied-to-me-about\/","title":{"rendered":"Everything Jane Austen Lied to Me About"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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I grew up believing my life would be like a Jane Austen novel, owing almost entirely to my own lack of critical thinking skills. Imagine my surprise when I discovered this was not the case! It was a devastating blow to realize that I would not<\/em>, in all likelihood, get swept off my feet by a handsome millionaire at the county ball, thus saving my family from deep financial ruin. (Now I have to resort to Plan B, which involves a heist, a getaway man, and an entirely new identity. Will keep you updated.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some of the things I believed in my Jane Austen-loving heart:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1.<\/strong> That when a tall, rich man is rude to me, it means we’re going to get married some day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.<\/strong> That the entire neighborhood would be extremely involved in the day-to-day minutiae of my love life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.<\/strong> That an attractive man would one day admire me from afar while I begrudgingly played the piano.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4.<\/strong> That I could just show up at people’s houses and receive a tour of the grounds without getting 1) yelled at to immediately vacate the property, or 2) arrested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5.<\/strong> That I would injure my ankle and be carried gallantly home by a love interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6.<\/strong> That men would just be constantly proposing to me with no warning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7.<\/strong> That older, matronly sorts would absolutely despise my spirited demeanor and lack of deference to social customs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8.<\/strong> That charming womanizers would find my quiet disapproval absolutely irresistible<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9.<\/strong> That my father would either be a hypochondriac or extremely bad with money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10.<\/strong> That when a boy ignores me, it means he secretly still likes me but has been warned against pursuing me by an arrogant third-party observer who scoffs at everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11.<\/strong> That much of my time would be spent taking chaperoned promenades through the garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12.<\/strong> That two equally attractive men would vie for my affections until one of them revealed himself to be a scoundrel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

13.<\/strong> That I would spend a lot of time in or around Bath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14.<\/strong> That catching a cold could be deadly. That my having contracted such a terrible, high-stakes malady would force men to declare their undying love for me before it’s too late.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

15.<\/strong> That I would attend many social functions, all of which would of course be exciting and filled with the kind of drama the entire narrative hinges upon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I grew up believing my life would be like a Jane Austen novel, owing almost entirely to my own lack of critical thinking skills. Imagine my surprise when I discovered this was not the case! continue reading<\/span>\n <\/path>\n <\/svg><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[628,2335,155,1393,25017,756],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1407447"}],"collection":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/182"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1407447"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1407447\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1449833,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1407447\/revisions\/1449833"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1407447"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1407447"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1407447"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}