This book also reveals Strether’s complicated relationships
with women. Despite their engagement, the relationship between Strether
and Mrs. Newsome comes off as cold, devoid of passion, and baldly
economic: Mrs. Newsome is not only Strether’s fiancée but also his
employer. He speaks of Mrs. Newsome as an important social figure
back in Massachusetts and as an “old friend.” But he speaks of her
as coldly and objectively as one might speak of a public figure
or a politician, not as one might speak of a betrothed. Even though
Strether speaks positively about Mrs. Newsome, she comes off in
a very negative light, particularly when compared to young, pert
Miss Gostrey. Nevertheless, Strether ultimately leaves Miss Gostrey
and returns to Mrs. Newsome in the final book. Throughout The
Ambassadors, the manner in which Strether thinks about things
and the way he chooses to speak about them often contradict one
another. The novel’s meaning resides in what is shown,
not in what is said.