As You Like It

by: William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

TOUCHSTONE
Mistress, you must come away to your father.
TOUCHSTONE
Mistress, you have to go see your father.
CELIA
Were you made the messenger?
CELIA
Did they make you the messenger?
TOUCHSTONE
50No, by mine honor, but I was bid to come for you.
TOUCHSTONE
ROSALIND
Where learned you that oath, fool?
ROSALIND
Where’d you learn a phrase like, “by my honor,” fool?
TOUCHSTONE
Of a certain knight that swore by his honor they were good pancakes, and swore by his honor the mustard was naught. Now, I’ll stand to it, the pancakes were naught and the mustard was good, and yet was not the knight forsworn.
TOUCHSTONE
From a certain knight who swore on his honor that the pancakes he was eating were good, and that the mustard on top of them—he swore on his honor—was bad. Now, I’ll swear to the opposite—that the pancakes were rotten, and the mustard was fine—but even so, the knight wasn’t lying.
CELIA
How prove you that in the great heap of your knowledge?
CELIA
And how, out of your great heap of knowledge, will you manage to prove that?
ROSALIND
Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
ROSALIND
Yes, please; unleash your wisdom.
TOUCHSTONE
Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins and swear by your beards that I am a knave.
TOUCHSTONE
Watch me: stroke your chins and swear by your beards that I am a knave.
CELIA
60By our beards (if we had them), thou art.
CELIA
By our beards (if we had them), you are a knave.
TOUCHSTONE
By my knavery (if I had it), then I were. But if you swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn. No more was this knight swearing by his honor, for he never had any; or if he had, he had sworn it away before ever he saw those pancakes or that mustard.
TOUCHSTONE
And I swear by my wickedness (if I had any) that I am a knave. But you can’t swear by what you don’t have—and this knight had no honor, or if he did, he swore it off before he ever saw those pancakes and that mustard.