Much Ado About Nothing

by: William Shakespeare

  Act 5 Scene 2

page Act 5 Scene 2 Page 3

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BEATRICE

Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul
breath, and foul breath is noisome. Therefore I will depart
unkissed.

BEATRICE

If you had foul words in your mouth, then your breath must be foul, and foul breath is nauseating. Thus, I’ll leave without being kissed.

BENEDICK

40Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense, so
forcible is thy wit. But I must tell thee plainly, Claudio
undergoes my challenge, and either I must shortly hear
from him, or I will subscribe him a coward. And I pray thee
now tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall
45in love with me?

BENEDICK

Your wit is so forceful, it frightens the very meaning out of your words. But I will tell you this very plainly: I have challenged Claudio, and either he’ll accept the challenge or admit he’s a coward. Now, tell me—which of my bad qualities did you fall in love with first?

BEATRICE

For them all together, which maintained so politic a state of
evil that they will not admit any good part to intermingle
with them. But for which of my good parts did you first
suffer love for me?

BEATRICE

With all of them at once: they work together to create such an entirely evil person that no good ever manages to enter the mix. But tell me—which of my good qualities first made you suffer love for me?

BENEDICK

50Suffer love! A good epithet! I do suffer love indeed, for I
love thee against my will.

BENEDICK

Suffer love! That’s a good way of putting it. I do suffer love, because I love you against my will.

BEATRICE

In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor heart, if you spite
it for my sake, I will spite it for yours, for I will never love
that which my riend hates.

BEATRICE

You love me in spite of your heart, I think. If you spite your heart for my sake, then I will spite it for yours. I will never love the thing my friend hates.

BENEDICK

55Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.

BENEDICK

You and I are too wise to woo each other peacefully.

BEATRICE

It appears not in this confession. There’s not one wise man
among twenty that will praise himself.

BEATRICE

It’s said that no truly wise man will praise himself. If you say that you are wise, it’s likely you’re not.

BENEDICK

An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the lime of
good neighbors. If a man do not erect in this age his own
60tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument than
the bell rings and the widow weeps.

BENEDICK

That’s an old proverb, Beatrice, from the time when neighbors praised each other. In this day and age, if a man doesn’t erect his own monument before he dies, he won’t be remembered past the funeral bell’s ringing and his widow’s crying.

BEATRICE

And how long is that, think you?

BEATRICE

Exactly how long is that, do you think?