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Attraction
Interpersonal attraction refers to positive feelings about
another person. It can take many forms, including liking, love, friendship, lust,
and admiration.
Influences
Many factors influence whom people are attracted to. They include
physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, and reciprocity:
- Physical attractiveness: Research shows that romantic attraction is primarily determined by physical attractiveness. In the early stages of dating, people are more attracted to partners whom they consider to be physically attractive. Men are more likely to value physical attractiveness than are women.
- People’s perception of their own physical attractiveness also plays a role in romantic love. The matching hypothesis proposes that people tend to pick partners who are about equal in level of attractiveness to themselves.
- Proximity: People are more likely to become friends with people who are geographically close. One explanation for this is the mere exposure effect. The mere exposure effect refers to people’s tendency to like novel stimuli more if they encounter them repeatedly.
- Similarity: People also tend to pick partners who are similar to themselves in characteristics such as age, race, religion, social class, personality, education, intelligence, and attitude.
- This similarity is seen not only between romantic partners but also between friends. Some researchers have suggested that similarity causes attraction. Others acknowledge that people may be more likely to have friends and partners who are similar to themselves simply because of accessibility: people are more likely to associate with people who are similar to themselves.
- Reciprocity: People tend to like others who reciprocate their liking.
Romantic Love
Many researchers focus on one particular form of attraction: romantic
love.
Kinds of Romantic Love
Researchers have proposed that romantic love includes two kinds of
love: passionate love and compassionate love. These two kinds of love may
occur together, but they do not always go hand in hand in a relationship:
- Passionate love: Involves absorption in another person, sexual desire, tenderness, and intense emotion.
- Compassionate love: Involves warmth, trust, and tolerance of another person. Compassionate love is sometimes considered to have two components: intimacy and commitment. Intimacy is the warm, close, sharing aspect of a relationship. Commitment is the intent to continue the relationship even in the face of difficulties. Researchers believe commitment is a good predictor of the stability of a relationship.
Attachment Styles
Some researchers study the influence of childhood attachment styles on
adult relationships. Many researchers believe that as adults, people relate
to their partners in the same way that they related to their caretakers in
infancy. (See Chapter 4 for more information on attachment styles.)
Cultural Similarities and Differences
There are both similarities and differences among cultures in romantic
attraction. Researchers have found that people in many different cultures
place a high value on mutual attraction between partners and the kindness,
intelligence, emotional stability, dependability, and good health of
partners.
However, people in different cultures place a different value on
romantic love within a marriage. People in individualistic cultures often
believe romantic love is a prerequisite for marriage. In many collectivist
cultures, people often consider it acceptable for family members or third
parties to arrange marriages.
Evolutionary Perspectives
Evolutionary psychologists speculate that the tendency to be
attracted to physically attractive people is adaptive. Many cultures
value particular aspects of physical attractiveness, such as facial
symmetry and a small waist-to-hip ratio. Evolutionary psychologists
point out that facial symmetry can be an indicator of good health, since
many developmental abnormalities tend to produce facial asymmetries. A
small waist-to-hip ratio, which produces an “hourglass”
figure, indicates high reproductive potential.
As predicted by the parental investment theory described in Chapters 2
and 12, men tend to be more interested in their partners’ youthfulness and
physical attractiveness. Evolutionary psychologists think that this is
because these characteristics indicate that women will be able to reproduce
successfully. Women, on the other hand, tend to value partners’ social
status, wealth, and ambition, because these are characteristics of men who
can successfully provide for offspring.
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