Hamlet

by: William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

HAMLET

With drink, sir?

HAMLET

What, an upset stomach from too much booze?

GUILDENSTERN

No, my lord, with choler.

GUILDENSTERN

No, sir, he’s angry.

HAMLET

Your wisdom should show itself more richer to signify this to the doctor. For, for me to put him to his purgation would perhaps plunge him into far more choler.

HAMLET

You should be smart enough to tell this to a doctor, not me, since if I treated him, he’d just get angrier.

GUILDENSTERN

Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame and start not so wildly from my affair.

GUILDENSTERN

My lord, please try to stick to the subject at hand.

HAMLET

I am tame, sir. Pronounce.

HAMLET

I’ll be good, sir. Go ahead.

GUILDENSTERN

The queen your mother, in most great affliction of spirit, hath sent me to you.

GUILDENSTERN

The queen your mother is upset, and sent me to see you.

HAMLET

You are welcome.

HAMLET

It’s lovely to see you.

GUILDENSTERN

Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of the right breed. If it shall please you to make me a wholesome answer, I will do your mother’s commandment. If not, your pardon and my return shall be the end of my business.

GUILDENSTERN

No, my lord, your polite words are not to the point. If you could please stop fooling around, I’ll tell you what your mother wants. If not, I’ll leave you alone and that’ll be the end of my business.

HAMLET

Sir, I cannot.

HAMLET

Sir, I can’t.

GUILDENSTERN

What, my lord?

GUILDENSTERN

Can’t what, my lord?

HAMLET

Make you a wholesome answer. My wit’s diseased. But, sir, such answer as I can make, you shall command. Or, rather, as you say, my mother. Therefore no more but to the matter. My mother, you say—

HAMLET

Stop fooling around. My mind is confused. But I’ll do my best to give you a straight answer, as you wish—or rather, as my mother wishes. Okay, to the point. My mother, you say …?

ROSENCRANTZ

Then thus she says: your behavior hath struck her into amazement and admiration.

ROSENCRANTZ

She says that your behavior has astonished her.