John is one of the two main characters in “Happy Endings” and is involved in various relationships with the other main character, Mary. Story variation A presents a typical happy life for John. He and Mary have a successful marriage and happy children who mature into their own successful lives. They have fulfilling careers and enjoy retirement together before they die. However, variation A tells readers little about who John is. Variations B and C present two versions of John that are more human, fleshed out with flaws and conflicting motivations, making them more interesting. In variation B, John uses Mary for sex and home-cooked meals, neglecting her needs but being just present enough to keep her hoping for something better. John meets Madge and develops a more mutual relationship with her that morphs into the typical story presented in variation A.

In variation C, John is a middle-aged man, already married to Madge and living the life laid out in variation A. However, this life does not make him happy. He is having a typical middle-aged crisis, when he falls in love with Mary, a young woman. John tries to have the best of both lives: financial and family security with Madge and sexual adventurousness with Mary. When he finds Mary with James, a younger and more interesting lover, John feels such rejection and despair that he kills the lovers and himself. In variation F, the narrator suggests that John could be a more exciting character, a “revolutionary,” but the change would not affect the story’s outcome because, happy or unhappy, John’s stories all end when he dies.