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Summary
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty flashes back to the summer that Belly is eleven years old. The kids are sitting on a blanket on the beach asking each other a series of “would you rather” questions. Conrad asks, “Would you rather live one perfect day over and over or live your life with no perfect days but just decent ones?” Jeremiah chooses one perfect day, but Belly chooses decent days because you could continue to hope to have a perfect day. Conrad agrees with Belly’s choice and supports her opinion. After Steven teases her, Belly throws a handful of sand at her brother. As he grabs her, Conrad chastises Steven and tells him to leave Belly alone.
Chapter Twenty-One
The night after Steven leaves, Conrad and Jeremiah are hanging out at the pool with Clay Bertolet, a neighbor who also spends the summers at Cousins Beach. He’s a year older than Conrad and tends to make Belly nervous. He offers her a can of beer and she declines. Conrad encourages her to go back into the house, but Belly decides to stay and swim as planned. Clay asks Belly if she has a boyfriend, and she lies and says yes. Conrad’s eyes flicker with jealousy and disbelief. Jeremiah reacts with surprise and notes that Belly has never mentioned having a boyfriend before. Intrigued, Clay invites her to attend his annual Fourth of July bonfire on the beach. Belly had never been included before so the invitation makes her feel like one of the older kids and she happily accepts.
After arriving at the bonfire party on the beach, the boys go off to chat with other teens, leaving Belly alone. As she warms her hands by the fire, she meets a boy named Cam who’s also standing alone, and they realize they met once before when they were in eighth grade at a convention for students studying Latin. Cam reveals that he received the first-place prize in oration at the Latin Convention while Belly came in second, and Belly realizes that she’s trying to impress him. Cam points out that Conrad has been watching the two of them together and mistakenly believes that he is Belly’s brother. She dismisses the idea that Conrad is concerned about her and notes that he’s been spending the evening talking to a pretty blond girl in a Red Sox cap.
Cam indicates that he will be leaving the party and offers to give Belly a ride home. She walks over to Conrad to tell him the plan and an argument ensues. Conrad tells her that she can’t drive home with a stranger. Belly responds by being rude to both Conrad and the blond girl chatting with him. She reluctantly agrees to wait for the Fishers to give her a ride home and Cam decides to stay at the party longer to talk to Belly. Back at the summer house, Jeremiah asks Belly about the tension between her and Conrad, and he asks her to be nicer to Conrad because he’s having a difficult time. Belly asks what’s wrong, but Jeremiah refuses to explain further, simply stating that it’s not his secret to tell.
Analysis
Throughout this section of the novel, Belly and Conrad show they have a strong connection in different ways, but whether Conrad’s feelings are romantic or platonic remains unclear. Feeling supported by Conrad strengthens Belly’s crush on him as she yearns to belong and feel included with the boys. Belly cherishes a memory from the summer when she was eleven when Conrad supported her opinion and defended her against her brother. She typically feels invisible, but Conrad has always seen and understood her. Conrad continues to be protective of Belly as she grows older. When Clay Bertolet shows an interest in Belly and offers her a beer, Conrad immediately says no. He grabs hold of her arm possessively when she informs him that she intends to leave the party with Cam. He reminds her that she claimed to have a boyfriend at the house, revealing that he was paying attention more than he let on. When Belly wriggles out of his grasp, falsely declaring that he’s hurting her, Conrad’s face turns red. The tension between them is so thick that the blond girl chatting with Conrad wonders if Belly is Conrad’s girlfriend.
Belly remains caught between wanting to be seen as more mature while simultaneously giving in to childish emotions and behavior. Conrad warns Clay not to give Belly alcohol because she’s “a kid.” His attitude is dismissive of Belly’s maturation. She’s no longer just “a kid.” She can make her own decisions and take care of herself. She considers accepting the beer from Clay, for example, but realizes she would only be drinking it out of spite, so she wisely turns him down. However, she remains immature in other ways. She lies about having a boyfriend to make Conrad jealous. She lashes out at him at Clay’s bonfire party on the beach. She’s also rude and nearly starts a fight with the blond girl chatting with Conrad at the party. After the altercation with Conrad and the girl, Belly says she feels like “a kid who’d gotten yelled at at her own birthday party.” Later, she feels some satisfaction from realizing she likely ruined Conrad’s interaction with the girl. Having grown up with Conrad, Belly struggles to shed the little-sister dynamic in their relationship.
Belly’s feeling of being an outsider extends outside of her relationship with the boys at the house. Belly frequently compares her own appearance and behavior to that of other teenage girls, and typically, the comparison leads her to conclude that she is lacking in some way. For example, after arriving at the bonfire on the beach, she notices that she’s dressed differently than the other girls at the party. They all wear cute sundresses, while she has on a tank top and shorts. Earlier, Taylor wore skimpy clothes while Belly still wore a shirt over her suit. Belly chooses to forego makeup and dress for comfort. As a result, she feels separate from both groups: too young to belong with the boys and not cute enough to be seen as one of the girls.
Later, Jeremiah acts as an advocate for Conrad with Belly. He asks her to go easy on his brother because he’s having a hard time. Jeremiah often takes on the role of mediator. He works to keep the peace in the summer house and always maintains a happy-go-lucky nature. He wants the best for everyone in his life, even if that means he can’t always have what he wants. This selflessness foreshadows Jeremiah’s true feelings for Belly long before he reveals them as well as his reasons for keeping his feelings secret. He prioritizes Belly’s feelings over his own.
