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ROSENCRANTZ God save you, sir!
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ROSENCRANTZ Thank you, sir.
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Exit POLONIUS
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POLONIUS exits.
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GUILDENSTERN My honored lord!
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GUILDENSTERN My lord!
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ROSENCRANTZ My most dear lord!
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ROSENCRANTZ My dear sir!
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HAMLET My excellent good friends! How dost thou, Guildenstern?
215Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do you both?
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HAMLET Ah, my good old friends! How are you, Guildenstern?
And Rosencrantz! Boys, how are you both doing?
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ROSENCRANTZ As the indifferent children of the earth.
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ROSENCRANTZ Oh, as well as anybody.
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GUILDENSTERN Happy, in that we are not overhappy.
On Fortune’s cap we are not the very button.
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GUILDENSTERN Happy that we’re not too happy, lucky in being not too
lucky. We’re not exactly at the top of our luck.
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HAMLET Nor the soles of her shoes?
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HAMLET But you’re not down and out, either, are you?
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ROSENCRANTZ
220Neither, my lord.
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ROSENCRANTZ No, we’re just somewhere in the middle, my lord.
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HAMLET Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favors?
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HAMLET So you’re around Lady Luck’s waist?
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GUILDENSTERN Faith, her privates we.
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GUILDENSTERN Yes, we’re the privates in her army.
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HAMLET In the secret parts of Fortune? Oh, most true. She is a strumpet. What news?
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HAMLET Ha, ha, so you’ve gotten into her private parts? Of
course—Lady Luck is such a slut. Anyway,
what’s up?
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ROSENCRANTZ None, my lord, but that the world’s grown
honest.
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ROSENCRANTZ Not much, my lord. Just that the world’s become
honest.
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HAMLET Then is doomsday near. But your news is not true. Let me
question more in particular. What have you, my good
friends, deserved at the hands of fortune that she sends you
to prison hither?
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HAMLET In that case, the end of the world is approaching. But
you’re wrong. Let me ask you a particular question. What
crimes have you committed to be sent here to this prison?
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