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GUILDENSTERN
350In what, my dear lord?
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GUILDENSTERN In what sense, my lord?
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HAMLET I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly,
I know a hawk from a handsaw.
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HAMLET I’m only crazy sometimes. At other times, I know
what’s what.
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Enter POLONIUS
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POLONIUS enters.
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POLONIUS Well be with you, gentlemen.
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POLONIUS Gentlemen, I hope you are well.
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HAMLET Hark you, Guildenstern, and you too—at each ear a
hearer.
(indicates POLONIUS
)That great baby you see there is not
yet
out of his swaddling-clouts
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HAMLET Listen, Guildenstern, and you too, Rosencrantz—listen
as close as you can!
(he gestures
toward
POLONIUS )This big baby is still in
diapers.
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ROSENCRANTZ Happily he’s the second time come to them, for they say
an
old man is twice a child.
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ROSENCRANTZ Yes, the second time around, since, as they say, old people become
children again.
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HAMLET
(aside to ROSENCRANTZ
and GUILDENSTERN
) I will prophesy
he comes to tell me of the players. Mark it.
(to
POLONIUS)—
You say right, sir. O' Monday morning, ’twas
so indeed.
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HAMLET
(whispering to ROSENCRANTZ
and
GUILDENSTERN) I bet he’s
coming to tell me about the actors; just watch.
(to
POLONIUS) You’re right,
sir, that happened on Monday morning.
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POLONIUS My lord, I have news to tell you.
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POLONIUS My lord, I have news for you.
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HAMLET My lord, I have news to tell you. When Roscius was an actor
in Rome—
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HAMLET My lord, I have news for you. When Roscius was an actor in ancient
Rome —
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POLONIUS
365The actors are come hither, my lord.
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POLONIUS The actors have arrived, my lord.
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HAMLET Buzz, buzz.
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HAMLET Yawn, snore.
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POLONIUS Upon my honor—
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POLONIUS I swear—
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HAMLET Then came each actor on his ass—
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HAMLET —each actor arrived on his ass.
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