No Fear Shakespeare: Hamlet: Act 2 Scene 2 Page 16

Original Text	Modern Text
GUILDENSTERN 350In what, my dear lord?	GUILDENSTERN In what sense, my lord?
HAMLET I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.	HAMLET I’m only crazy sometimes. At other times, I know what’s what.
Enter POLONIUS	POLONIUS enters.
POLONIUS Well be with you, gentlemen.	POLONIUS Gentlemen, I hope you are well.
HAMLET Hark you, Guildenstern, and you too—at each ear a hearer. (indicates POLONIUS )That great baby you see there is not yet out of his swaddling-clouts	HAMLET Listen, Guildenstern, and you too, Rosencrantz—listen as close as you can! (he gestures toward POLONIUS )This big baby is still in diapers.
ROSENCRANTZ Happily he’s the second time come to them, for they say an old man is twice a child.	ROSENCRANTZ Yes, the second time around, since, as they say, old people become children again.
HAMLET (aside to ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN ) I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players. Mark it. (to POLONIUS)— You say right, sir. O' Monday morning, ’twas so indeed.	HAMLET (whispering to ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN) I bet he’s coming to tell me about the actors; just watch. (to POLONIUS) You’re right, sir, that happened on Monday morning.
POLONIUS My lord, I have news to tell you.	POLONIUS My lord, I have news for you.
HAMLET My lord, I have news to tell you. When Roscius was an actor in Rome—	HAMLET My lord, I have news for you. When Roscius was an actor in ancient Rome —
POLONIUS 365The actors are come hither, my lord.	POLONIUS The actors have arrived, my lord.
HAMLET Buzz, buzz.	HAMLET Yawn, snore.
POLONIUS Upon my honor—	POLONIUS I swear—
HAMLET Then came each actor on his ass—	HAMLET —each actor arrived on his ass.