The Meaning of Sacrifice

Young brotha, you can’t wait until the credits are rolling to decide that you wanna see the movie. You obviously didn’t make school a priority this year, judging by your grades and all of your absences. We’re a few months away from graduation. Why do you care now?

When Mav meets with his school counselor in Chapter 22, he is devastated to learn that he is flunking out. Mav maintains that he isn’t dumb, he just has a lot going on. Mav is correct on both counts but he has yet to realize that much of what he has going on is related to his gang and criminal activities. These activities do not serve him well, and if he does not sacrifice them, he will never graduate. Mav is not yet willing to make the short-term sacrifices that will ultimately yield long-term benefits. He doesn’t see the point of finishing school if it doesn’t help him to get a lucrative job. He still doesn’t understand that giving up the fast money he earns by dealing will give him the freedom to chart his own course.

I’ll always love Adonis, and I’ll always be there for him. I also have to love myself. All of that ‘ride or die’ stuff, it’s nice until you feel like you’re dying from not living. Adonis made choices that put his life at a standstill. He didn’t have to sell drugs; he chose to. I shouldn’t have to put my life on hold because of his decisions.

Faye has made sacrifices ever since Adonis went to jail. In Chapter 23, she explains to Mav why she won’t sacrifice her happiness anymore. Of course, she will continue to care for her son and her grandchildren, but she will do so without sacrificing her truth or her happiness. Here, Faye has just told Mav that she is in love with Moe and that she has been romantically involved with her for years. This disclosure makes Mav think about his own decisions as well. He is keeping his academic troubles a secret from Faye, but because she is so happy at this moment, he sacrifices his need to confide in her so that she can enjoy herself for once.

Mmm-hmm. It’s kinda like how we have to do with ourselves. Get rid of things that don’t do us any good. If it won’t help the rose grow, you’ve gotta let it go. Hey, hey! Look at me rapping again.

In Chapter 30, Mav goes to Mr. Wyatt’s rose garden after he has an angry, early morning confrontation with King. He is shocked to see how much the roses have grown, and without anyone asking him to do so, he begins pulling the dead matter out of the beds so that they can continue to thrive. Mr. Wyatt sees him doing this and draws the comparison between the necessity of this task and getting rid of the rubbish in one’s life. By now Mav realizes that he needs to sacrifice certain things to become the kind of man his family needs him to be.

Traditional Ideas of Manhood

Son, one of the biggest lies ever told is that Black men don’t feel emotions. Guess it’s easier to not see us as human when you think we’re heartless. Fact of the matter is, we feel things. Hurt, pain, sadness, all of it. We got a right to show them feelings as much as anybody else.

By the time he shows up to work for Mr. Wyatt in Chapter 13, Mav has been keeping his grief about Dre’s death at bay for a long time. When he admits to Mr. Wyatt that he got high to get Dre out of his head, he also tells him that he keeps pushing through instead of crying because he believes he must be a man. Mr. Wyatt thinks for a long time before contradicting this view of manhood, especially Black manhood. It is not Mr. Wyatt’s words that finally allow Mav to cry about Dre’s death. In a strong but gentle gesture that conveys real support, Mr. Wyatt grabs the back of Mav’s neck and instructs him to let it out. While Mav screams and cries for his lost friend, Mr. Wyatt holds him tight. No man has ever done this for Mav before, but it is exactly what Mav needs.

There were a lot of things I thought I had to do, too. Reality was, I only had to be there for you and your momma, and I failed at that.

Mav visits his father alone for the first time in Chapter 26. His visit to the crack house in Chapter 25 made him realize how many people in his community are still addicted to the kinds of drugs that his father sold them so long ago. As a young boy, Mav’s father was his hero, but not anymore. Mav and his father fought during their visit in Chapter 13, and Mav expects him to go off on him for the disrespectful way that he treated him. Instead of seeing a fatherly display of machismo, however, Mav sees the unspoken love in his father’s eyes. This love allows Adonis to admit that he was wrong and show his son that his family is more important than seeking revenge for Dre’s death. Adonis knows that the codes of honor among men do not always serve them and their families well.

‘On some real shit, son? There’s a lot of grown men in the game who don’t wanna be in it. They don’t have the guts to admit it like you do. They too caught up or too scared of what people will think. They end up accepting that they stuck.’ For a second, it sounds like he is describing himself. ‘For you to admit that you want out? It means you’re thinking for yourself, like a man should,’ he says. ‘They oughta start calling you Big Mav instead of Li’l Don.’

In Mav’s world toughness, power, and perception are everything, and it is impossible to have any of those things without guts. Real men are loyal to the gang above all else, even if it means sacrificing everything they hold dear. They have guts because they stick with it even when things are dangerous. In Chapter 30, Mav tells his father that he wants out of the King Lords, and he is worried that his father will be offended that Mav won’t carry on the tradition that his dad started back when he was Big Don. It is more important to Adonis, however, that Mav live up to his own name instead of being Li’l Don.

He tells his son that having courage means being brave enough to admit when something isn’t working even if others will perceive you as weak. He thinks that a man should think for himself, and he is proud of Mav for doing so.

The Importance of Family and Community

Don’t let the rest of that lie come outta your mouth. I saw who dropped you off. I know what he’s into, and I doubt he only gave you a ride home. What were you doing with him?

In Chapter 8, Mav is late for his very first day of work and Mr. Wyatt sees right through his lame attempt at an excuse. As a member of the community, he knows what King is up to, and he becomes a member of Mav’s community when he tells him so. Mr. Wyatt has only recently become Mav’s employer, but as his longtime neighbor, he is well acquainted with Mav and his family. Mav will come to learn that Mr. Wyatt’s store is a hub for the entire community, a place where people come not just to shop for groceries but to chat and update each other about their lives. Mr. Wyatt knows his customers, and he knows how important community can be for someone like Mav. He also knows that a gang is not the right kind of community, and he does his best to hold Mav accountable and show him another kind of life.

If it’s not, you’re not alone. It takes a village to raise a child. Seven has a big one. That means that you do too.

Faye is the glue that holds her family together, but she knows that motherhood isn’t easy. In Chapter 18 she tells Iesha that she needs to step up and be responsible for her baby even though she suffers from postpartum depression. Iesha feels guilty for leaving her baby, and when she worries that Seven is better off without her when she’s depressed, Mav reassures her that everything will be alright. Faye takes it a step further and reassures Iesha that as Seven’s mother, she is part of their family too. She knows that Iesha’s mother does not provide her with the kind of security and emotional support that she gives to Mav, and while Faye feels empathy for Iesha, she puts Seven’s interests at the forefront. She suggests that Iesha give Mav legal custody of the baby because she knows that Seven needs the support of Mav’s entire community. As his grandmother, she will make sure that he gets it.

‘I’ve tried my hardest, God knows I have, and yet here we are. Two babies before you’re eighteen. It’s bad enough your father convinced me to let you join a gang for protection.’ She shakes her head. ‘Some mother I am. Loving you isn’t enough. Being hard on you isn’t enough. I haven’t been enough.’

As adept as Faye is at reassuring others, she is not always able to reassure herself. In Chapter 16 she looks at Mav and asks him point-blank if she has failed him. She knows now that Lisa is pregnant with Mav’s baby, and she cannot fathom any other reason why he would make the same mistake twice. For Faye, failing as a mother is the worst kind of failure that she can imagine. Faye is angry with Mav for his excuses and empty promises to do better, and angry with herself for allowing Adonis to convince her to let Mav join the King Lords. She is also at her wit’s end, so she makes the sudden decision to take Mav to visit Adonis. She may be angry with Adonis, but she recognizes that he is Mav’s father, and her son needs a father’s guidance.

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