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Why does he always say hello to me every single morning? Is it a joke? Is it like the guys who used to bully me last year all over again? He’s probably just making fun of me.
This quote takes place in the beginning of “Meet,” after Nick and Charlie meet in the same vertical class and Nick begins greeting Charlie each morning before school. The uncertainties that Charlie expresses here are written on a metaphorical chalkboard behind him, which represents his internal monologue. Unsure what the older boy’s attention means, Charlie struggles to effortlessly interact with Nick and is plagued with doubt. Because Nick looks like some of the older boys who bullied him the previous year, Charlie is suspicious of Nick’s motives, having spent a difficult year of being out as gay in an unwelcoming environment. Later, it becomes clear that Nick isn’t pranking Charlie and is being friendly because he genuinely likes Charlie. In this way, a simple act like a daily greeting can be misinterpreted or misunderstood, emphasizing how past experiences color the way the characters see each other.
So ... anyway ... I have something to ask you!
This quote takes place in “Meet,” after Nick and Charlie have established a tentative friendship, with Charlie helping Nick with his ink-stained hands and Nick interrupting a confrontation between Charlie and Ben. Both boys seem interested in continuing to pursue a friendship, and maybe something more, though their specific wishes for connection diverge here. For his part, Charlie fantasizes that Nick is secretly gay and wants to be his boyfriend. However, Nick’s question turns out to be about Charlie joining the rugby team, perhaps simply because he’s fast or perhaps because Nick wants Charlie around more. In this moment, neither boy understands the other’s motives. Charlie is harboring a secret crush on Nick and masking his feelings, while Nick is interested in Charlie in a way that is ambiguous even to himself. The invitation to join the team welcomes Charlie into Nick’s world and deepens their intimacy, but neither boy has a firm grasp on what the energy and interest between them means for the other.
I’m just a bit scared of letting everyone down and I don’t even know whether they like me or want me on the team or ... yeah.
This quote takes place in “Meet,” a week after Charlie initially joins the rugby team and Charlie has made some inroads, both with the intricacies of the game and with his teammates. Charlie is popular, but he doesn’t know that, and he tends to be insecure despite his talents and general likability. His self-doubt partially stems from the bullying he experienced when he came out as gay, but it is also the result of his introspective nature. Charlie spends a lot of time reflecting on himself, his relationships with others, and their motivations. Since he cannot know their intentions, he worries, often unnecessarily, about his place among his peers. He needs a lot of reassurance, which Nick gives, affirming that Charlie is a good rugby player, that he is well liked, and that he has nothing to be sorry for. Charlie projects his insecurities about himself onto his peers, resulting in the incorrect belief that he is unlikeable.
You don’t have a crush on anyone at the moment?
Well ... I didn’t say THAT ...”
This quote takes place towards the end of the novel, after Nick tells Harry that he’s a jerk at his birthday party and after Charlie tells Ben, in no uncertain terms, to leave him alone. Both boys, then, have successfully told off people from their past who misperceived them. By standing up to bullies, they have both realized their own power and the importance of being seen and accepted for who they truly are. In this heighted atmosphere, they both move towards being more forthright about their intentions, and here, Charlie is brave enough to ask Nick directly about his romantic feelings, no longer content to let their friendship be ambiguous. Nick, for his part, moves towards being more direct, taking a step towards Charlie, too. In this moment, Charlie and Nick find the courage to reveal their true feelings to each other, though both are still struggling to feel fully confident in themselves and their identities
