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How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1936, with only 5000 copies printed. To Carnegie’s surprise, it quickly became an international bestseller.  In 1981, slight changes were made to “modernize” it for the reader.  The 1981 edition remains the most commonly read version. 

The first preface was written for the 1981 revised edition by Dorothy Carnegie, widow of author Dale Carnegie.  In it, she explains the origin of the book and how Dale Carnegie was a “tireless reviser of his own work.” In this 1981 edition, the content is still the same as the 1937 original, but with updated examples and phrases to make it more contemporary to the modern era. 

The second preface is titled “How This Book Was Written and Why.” In it, Dale Carnegie explains that he started out by conducting education courses in public speaking for business professionals.  After some time, he realized that rather than training people to think on their feet and speak clearly, the more important issue was that people needed to be trained in the “fine art of getting along with people in everyday business and social contacts.” As a result, Carnegie explains that he interviewed scores of successful people about their techniques used in “human relations.” From that, he developed a “short talk” on this subject, which then grew into a lecture.  This lengthy preface also contains examples of a number of those who applied the principles into their lives, with successful outcomes. Carnegie says this book “grew as a child grows.” The basis for this book is the experiences of thousands of adults in what he called “the first and only laboratory of human relationships that ever existed.” 

The third preface, “Nine Suggestions on How to Get The Most Out of This Book” is a series of recommendations from Carnegie for potential readers. He gives several pieces of advice to help people maximize their experience with the text (such as marking passages, taking notes, and rereading). 

Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People. This section has three chapters, each of which focuses on a different element of personal relations. Throughout the entire book, Carnegie uses a straightforward organizational approach. He briefly describes a concept that he believes will help the reader interact with others and then examines different scenarios. There are often historical anecdotes as well as business interactions, often testimonies from Carnegie’s students. He also provides examples that utilize family dynamics and examples of teachers with their students. Part One describes the consequences of criticizing others, the necessity for praise, and the power of motivating others by getting them interested. The first chapter discusses how other people are emotionally attached to their ideas and actions. One should generally avoid direct criticism, which will likely discourage others or make them resentful. The second chapter discusses the idea that everyone wants to feel important and appreciated. By finding ways to make people feel important, one can motivate them. The third chapter introduces the concept of trying to kindle an “eager want” in other people. By generating interest, one can organically motivate someone else without having to command them to do something. The concepts in this first section are revisited in the other three sections. 

Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You. Overall, Part Two discusses how to be a likeable person. It introduces such concepts as expressing interest in other people’s interests, smiling, remembering people’s names, being a good listener, and finding ways to praise others. The advice is straightforward and there are examples in every chapter of how one can adjust behavior. Sometimes Carnegie presents examples where someone did not follow the principles and then revisits the incident as if that person had been more mindful. While the lessons are simple in concept, Carnegie reiterates that sincerity is the key to many of them, as most people can recognize insincere flattery, and it will have the opposite of the desired effect. Throughout this section, Carnegie applies the concepts to both business and personal life. 

Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking. At this point, the book shifts the focus toward business, sales, and management. However, many of the techniques are discussed in terms of how they can be effective in personal relationships as well. Some of the key concepts in this section include avoiding arguments, admitting when one is wrong, letting the other person do most of the talking, and appealing to people’s “nobler” motives. The instructions in this section are again supported by anecdotes and examples, from both historical/political and sales/management perspectives. Overall, Part Three aims at helping the reader be less confrontational and pursue solutions without creating unnecessary friction.  

Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Part Four builds on Part Three and focuses even more on management, while still mentioning that the techniques can work in one’s personal life. The key concepts in Part Four revolve around correcting others without making them upset (e.g., the notion of complimenting someone before giving them corrective feedback). The overall goal of this section is to help the reader push others to improve without making them feel inadequate or angry. Many of the ideas from the first half of the book regarding ego and the need to feel important are explored again. Carnegie discusses several methods for motivating others by making others feel as though it was their idea. He argues that through indirect suggestions, asking questions, and pointing out the benefits of someone’s actions, one can often change a person without having to confront them or make them feel inadequate.

Previous section Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

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