Summary

Part 4: Chapters 44-45 and Epilogue

Chapter 44: STEPHEN, October 2014 

Stephen is having a nightmare about the accident with Macy when he’s woken by a phone call alerting him that his mother is severely injured and in the hospital. Though angry about the situation, Stephen goes to the hospital. On the way to his exam afterward, the smell of Bubblicious bubble gum triggers memories of the accident. He recalls that Macy was sober and chewing gum, and that he was drunk but wanted to drive, so she could perform oral sex on him. She put her gum in his mouth and unzipped his shorts while “Zombie” played on the radio. While she went down on him, he drove off the road. Macy’s neck broke on the gearshift, and she died. Mindful of what the accident could mean about his future in college and law school, Stephen arranged her body to make it appear that she was driving alone and walked home, telling no one.  

In 2014, walking to his exam, Stephen realizes he is crying. After the exam, Lucy calls him and inquires about the date Charlotte allegedly saw him on. The woman he was with was Jillian, whom he met at a party he did not invite Lucy to and later asked to meet him at Crif Dogs. He tells Lucy it was nothing, but she presses the issue, and they fight. She asks him to come discuss it in person, and he says he is too busy but confirms he will meet her parents for dinner later in the week. After a shower, craving a fresh start, he calls Jillian for a second date.  

Chapter 45: LUCY, October 2014

Lydia tells Lucy that Charlotte saw Stephen at dinner with another woman, on what seems to be a date. Lucy is worried but tells herself Stephen is just stressed about his mom. When Stephen still hasn’t gotten in touch after several days, Lucy calls to confirm he will be at dinner with her parents but he cancels, citing work. They fight, and when she asks if he will be at her half marathon on Long Island that weekend, his response is vague. Stephen does not come to the race or call Lucy. Lucy claims to feel unwell and goes to bed as Lydia and Bree go out to celebrate finishing the marathon.  

Lucy and Stephen meet in the city the Friday after the race. Stephen is cold, and Lucy is angry. Stephen breaks up with her, saying they never really loved each other. Lucy goes home and cries so hard, her nose bleeds. Bree finds Lucy the next day and helps her get cleaned up. As she washes her face, Lucy has a moment of clarity and feels sure that Stephen was the boy Macy was involved with when she died. In response to Bree’s SOS call, CJ arrives to take Lucy to the Cape to help her cope with her breakup. During the drive, when CJ mentions the importance of trust in relationships, Lucy snaps, confronting CJ about Gabe. A horrified CJ apologizes profusely, explaining that it was a mistake and that she and Ben worked through it and repaired their marriage years ago. Lucy then confesses to having stolen Marilyn’s jewelry. They forgive each other, and Lucy asks CJ to invite Georgia and Ben, so they can scatter Hickory’s ashes together as a family. 

Epilogue: LUCY, August 2017 

Jackie helps Lucy, who is upset over seeing Jillian’s engagement ring, leave the wedding ahead of the rest of the bridal party and get to the reception. At the reception, Lucy sees Wrigley, who is now sober. While Lucy is watching Bree and Evan dance, Stephen comes up to talk to her. Although he makes multiple comments about her appearance, she feels no attraction to him and realizes that what she feels most is not anger but apathy. After the wedding, she calls CJ to tell her about it. CJ tells Lucy about her own version of Stephen, a man she dated in the past named Cole Hammond, and Lucy tells CJ that she thinks it is time for her to quit her job and leave New York. CJ is supportive of the idea and says they can discuss it when Lucy comes home that weekend. Lucy hangs up and returns to the party.  

Analysis  

The ways families connect and care for each other even when they hurt one another are explored throughout this book. Stephen’s reaction to Nora’s hospitalization in Chapter 44 shows how his lack of connection to others extends beyond his romantic life. The contrast between Stephen’s feelings and behavior when his mother is hospitalized with severe injuries and the behavior of the rest of his family members underscores that Stephen is not only a product of his environment, someone psychologically wounded by his mother’s abandonment, but genuinely outside the norm of human psychology. The whole family has been hurt by Nora, but only Stephen has withdrawn from any sense of love or duty toward her. Even when Stephen comes to the hospital, his principal reaction is irritation at having to be there and disbelief that anyone cares enough for Nora to have sent flowers. In Stephen’s view, Luke’s insistence that families care for one another is self-righteousness, not a reflection of a genuine and widespread belief. 

By the time Stephen finally recounts the whole story of Macy’s death, there have been so many glimpses of his perspective that the story itself is not a surprise. However, telling the whole story allows her to detail Stephen’s pragmatic and self-serving reactions to the sight of Macy lying bleeding across his lap, her neck broken, showing that even in the most extreme moments, his thoughts immediately go to self-preservation, not emotion. Earlier in the novel, Stephen has described the summer of the accident and his DUI arrest as unlucky. In this scene, he emphasizes the lucky circumstance of his seeing a way to save himself from the consequences of the selfish and careless behavior that led to Macy’s death. Tampering with the scene to lead people to believe Macy had died as a result of her own driving errors is his automatic response. He doesn’t struggle with the choice, because his first concern is always his own ambitions. While his flashbacks throughout the book indicate that he does experience some amount of post-traumatic stress in response to the accident, he does not experience guilt, consistent with Dr. Wattenbarger’s diagnosis of him as a sociopath. 

Lucy’s reconciliation with CJ heals the wound that drives much of her behavior earlier in the book and allows her to reconnect with her family. The theme of family connection is apparent in this scene as CJ’s unconditional love for Lucy enables her to return even after years of estrangement. In order for the two to reconcile, Lucy must allow herself to finally confront her mother, something she has avoided for years. Lucy’s secrecy about the Unforgivable Thing has left CJ knowing that her daughter is angry and distant, but unable to ascertain how to make things better. CJ’s decision to consistently love and care for Lucy despite her anger makes the reconciliation possible. By showing up to take care of Lucy after her breakup with Stephen, CJ encounters Lucy with her guard down to the point that she finally explodes at CJ instead of simmering with rage. When Lucy learns that she has been wrong in her assumption that CJ has kept the affair a secret and does not care about Ben, she is finally able to see the love CJ is offering and reconnect with her family. Her request that they scatter Hickory’s ashes together shows her choice to move from the isolation she chose at the time of the dog’s death to a state of renewed connection with the whole family. 

The final section of the book shows contrast between the ways people can change and the ways they do not. Lucy and her friends are in some ways the same loving and fun foursome that met at Baird, but in other ways, they have grown up. Jackie convinces Pippa to stop using cocaine after they move to L.A., and Lucy has developed a healthier relationship to food. Wrigley, the head of the biggest parties on campus, is eighteen months sober by the time of Bree’s wedding, and Lucy can see past his failures as Pippa’s boyfriend to enjoy catching up with him. The revelation of CJ’s work to rebuild her marriage following her affair with Gabe shows her capacity to change for the positive, as does Lucy’s willingness to begin forgiving the act she once considered Unforgivable. Stephen, however, remains the same, flirting with Lucy and treating conversation as a game to be won rather than an opportunity to connect. The most arguably profound change is revealed when Lucy is finally able to walk away from Stephen and focus on her own life.