True justice is paying only once for each mistake. True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake.

This quote appears in Chapter 1, “Domestication and the Dream of the Planet,” when Ruiz is discussing the concepts of the Book of Law, the Judge, and the Victim. The Judge punishes the Victim in accordance with the Book of Law when mistakes are made, forcing the Victim to feel guilt and shame. However, this is not a single occurrence. Because of human memory, we feel the same guilt and shame each time we remember a mistake or are reminded of it by other humans. In this way, we are punished over and over again for a single mistake, something that no other being on earth does. This is only because of the Book of Law, which is based on lies that cause us to suffer only because we choose to believe them.

Self-rejection is the biggest sin that you commit.

In Chapter 2, when defining impeccability as part of the First Agreement, Ruiz identifies self-rejection as our biggest sin. His definition of sin is not a moral or religious one, but simply the idea of an act taken against yourself. There are many acts we can commit against ourselves, such as harming ourselves or harming others (which causes a negative reaction that comes back around to harm ourselves), but self-rejection is the gravest. Self-love and self-acceptance are vital to allowing us to fulfill our need for acceptance by others. When we reject ourselves, we make the assumption that others will reject us, as well, and so we close ourselves off to relationships. This can begin a never-ending cycle of suffering in which we blame ourselves for the rejection from others and reject ourselves once more, leading to further perceived rejection by others, beginning the cycle anew.

You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you.

This quote appears at the end of Chapter 3, highlighting a conclusion of the Second Agreement, “Don’t take anything personally.” When we assume that everything is about ourselves, we are prepared to accept and agree with anything hurtful that comes our way, or even assume that things not aimed at us are meant to hurt us. Understanding that we are not responsible for the actions of others is a key way in which we can set our minds free from the guilt and shame of self-judgment, making us immune, as Ruiz calls it, to others’ emotional poison. Instead, we can understand that people are acting because of their own Book of Law and that it has nothing to do with us.

Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them.

This quote comes from the discussion of the Third Agreement in Chapter 4, when Ruiz is using the example of love changing a person to show how we make assumptions in relationships. We tend to want to justify our actions, even our love for someone else, and deny when we are incompatible with a person. Instead, we assume that we can change things about the other with our love—but that is not what real love is like. Real love is complete acceptance of both the good and bad in a person, not attempting to fit them into the mold of what we want them to be. In this way, real self-love is also complete acceptance of ourselves, good and bad, free of judgment or conditions.

Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life.

In his discussion of the Fourth Agreement, after Ruiz explains in Chapter 5 how important doing your best is, this quote appears. In order for people to do their best, action is inherently required. Even the smallest things are actions, such as expressing who you are. Old, harmful agreements cannot be broken without action, and neither can new agreements be formed without action. It is these actions that guide and define our lives, and without action, there can be no results or rewards. Actions are the manifestation of our desires, and we can only achieve those desires by taking action. If we do not take action, nothing about our lives changes and we will continue to live in the old dream. 

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