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| “But hang it, Jim, you’ve clean missed the point—blame it, you’ve missed it a thousand mile.” | “But, man, Jim. You missed the whole point—missed it by a thousand miles.” |
| “Who? Me? Go ’long. Doan’ talk to me ’bout yo’ pints. I reck’n I knows sense when I sees it; en dey ain’ no sense in sich doin’s as dat. De ’spute warn’t ’bout a half a chile, de ’spute was ’bout a whole chile; en de man dat think he kin settle a ’spute ’bout a whole chile wid a half a chile doan’ know enough to come in out’n de rain. Doan’ talk to me ’bout Sollermun, Huck, I knows him by de back.” | “Who? Me? Get outta here. Don’t talk to me about your points. I imagine I know common sense when I see it, and there isn’t any sense in that. The women’s dispute wasn’t about half a child, it was about a whole child. And any man who thinks he can settle a dispute about a whole child by giving a woman half a child wouldn’t be smart enough to know to come inside when it rains. Don’t talk to man any more about Solomon, Huck. I know enough already.” |
| “But I tell you you don’t get the point.” | “But I’m telling you you’re not getting the point.” |
| “Blame de point! I reck’n I knows what I knows. En mine you, de REAL pint is down furder—it’s down deeper. It lays in de way Sollermun was raised. You take a man dat’s got on’y one or two chillen; is dat man gwyne to be waseful o’ chillen? No, he ain’t; he can’t ’ford it. HE know how to value ’em. But you take a man dat’s got ’bout five million chillen runnin’ roun’ de house, en it’s diffunt. HE as soon chop a chile in two as a cat. Dey’s plenty mo’. A chile er two, mo’ er less, warn’t no consekens to Sollermun, dad fatch him!” | “Damn the point! I know what I know. Besides, the real point is even deeper than that. It all goes back to the way Solomon was raised. For example, take a man who’s got only one or two children. Is that man going to be wasteful with kids? No, he isn’t—he can’t afford to be. He knows the value of a child. But it’s different with a man who’s got about five million children running around the house. HE would just as soon chop a child in two as he would a cat, since he has plenty of other kids. A child or two aren’t that important to Solomon, darn it.” |
| I never see such a nigger. If he got a notion in his head once, there warn’t no getting it out again. He was the most down on Solomon of any nigger I ever see. So I went to talking about other kings, and let Solomon slide. I told about Louis Sixteenth that got his head cut off in France long time ago; and about his little boy the dolphin, that would a been a king, but they took and shut him up in jail, and some say he died there. |
I never saw such a n-----. Once he got an idea in his head, there was no
use trying to get it out. He disliked Solomon more than any other n----- I
ever knew. So I dropped the topic of Solomon and started talking about other
kings. I told him about Louis XVI, who got his head chopped off in France a
long time ago. And I talked about his son, the
dolphinHuck means dauphin, a royal title in France dolphin , who would have been king if he hadn’t been shut up in jail. Some say he died there. |
| “Po’ little chap.” | “Poor little kid.” |
| “But some says he got out and got away, and come to America.” | “But others say he escaped and came to America.” |
| “Dat’s good! But he’ll be pooty lonesome—dey ain’ no kings here, is dey, Huck?” | “Well that’s good! But he’ll be pretty lonesome here. There aren’t any kings here, are there, Huck?” |
| “No.” | “No.” |
| “Den he cain’t git no situation. What he gwyne to do?” | “Then he can’t go back to the way of life he’s used to. What’s he going to do?” |
| “Well, I don’t know. Some of them gets on the police, and some of them learns people how to talk French.” | “Well, I don’t know. Some of them become policemen and others teach people how to speak French.” |
| “Why, Huck, doan’ de French people talk de same way we does?” | “What do you mean, Huck? Don’t the French people talk the same way we do?” |
| “NO, Jim; you couldn’t understand a word they said—not a single word.” | “NO, Jim. You can’t understand a word the French say. Not a single word.” |
| “Well, now, I be ding-busted! How do dat come?” | “Well I’ll be damned! How did that come to be?” |
| “I don’t know; but it’s so. I got some of their jabber out of a book. S’pose a man was to come to you and say Polly-voo-franzy—what would you think?” | “I don’t know, but it’s true. I learned some of their nonsense out of a book. Suppose a man came up to you and said, Polly voo franzy. What would you think about that?” |
| “I wouldn’ think nuff’n; I’d take en bust him over de head—dat is, if he warn’t white. I wouldn’t ’low no nigger to call me dat.” | “I wouldn’t think at all. I’d hit him over the head—if he’s not a white man, that is. I wouldn’t allow a n----- to call me a name like that.” |
| “Shucks, it ain’t calling you anything. It’s only saying, do you know how to talk French?” | “Shucks, Jim. He wouldn’t be calling you a name. He’d only be saying, ‘Do you speak French?’” |
| “Well, den, why couldn’t he SAY it?” | “Well then why wouldn’t he just SAY that?” |
| “Why, he IS a-saying it. That’s a Frenchman’s WAY of saying it.” | “But he IS saying that. That’s the way a Frenchman says it.” |
| “Well, it’s a blame ridicklous way, en I doan’ want to hear no mo’ ’bout it. Dey ain’ no sense in it.” | “Well, he’s got a pretty ridiculous way of talking then. And I don’t want to hear any more about it. It doesn’t make any sense.” |
| “Looky here, Jim; does a cat talk like we do?” | “Look, Jim. Does a cat talk like we do?” |
| “No, a cat don’t.” | “No, a cat doesn’t.” |
| “Well, does a cow?” | “Well, does a cow talk like we do?” |
| “No, a cow don’t, nuther.” | “No, a cow doesn’t either.” |
| “Does a cat talk like a cow, or a cow talk like a cat?” | “Does a cat talk like a cow? Does a cow talk like a cat?” |
| “No, dey don’t.” | “No, they don’t.” |
| “It’s natural and right for ’em to talk different from each other, ain’t it?” | “Isn’t it natural and proper that they talk differently than each other?” |
| “Course.” | “Of course.” |
| “And ain’t it natural and right for a cat and a cow to talk different from US?” | “And isn’t it natural and proper that a cat and cow talk differently from humans?” |
| “Why, mos’ sholy it is.” | “Why, of course it is.” |
| “Well, then, why ain’t it natural and right for a FRENCHMAN to talk different from us? You answer me that.” | “Well then, why isn’t it natural and proper for a Frenchman to talk differently than us? Answer me that.” |
| “Is a cat a man, Huck?” | “Is a cat a man, Huck?” |
| “No.” | “No.” |
| “Well, den, dey ain’t no sense in a cat talkin’ like a man. Is a cow a man?—er is a cow a cat?” | “Well then, it wouldn’t make any sense for a cat to talk like a man. Is a cow a man? I mean, is a cow a cat?” |
| “No, she ain’t either of them.” | “No, a cow is neither a man nor a cat.” |
| “Well, den, she ain’t got no business to talk like either one er the yuther of ’em. Is a Frenchman a man?” | “Well then, a cow’s got no business talking like either one of them. Is a Frenchman a man?” |
| “Yes.” | “Yes.” |
| “WELL, den! Dad blame it, why doan’ he TALK like a man? You answer me DAT!” | “Well, there you go! Darn it, then why doesn’t a Frenchman TALK like a man? Answer me THAT!” |
| I see it warn’t no use wasting words—you can’t learn a nigger to argue. So I quit. | I saw it was no use wasting words—you can’t teach a n----- how to argue. So I quit. |
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