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Rev. Hobson and Dr. Robinson was down to the end of the town a-hunting together—that is, I mean the doctor was shipping a sick man to t’other world, and the preacher was pinting him right. Lawyer Bell was away up to Louisville on business. But the rest was on hand, and so they all come and shook hands with the king and thanked him and talked to him; and then they shook hands with the duke and didn’t say nothing, but just kept a-smiling and bobbing their heads like a passel of sapheads whilst he made all sorts of signs with his hands and said “Goo-goo—goo-goo-goo” all the time, like a baby that can’t talk. venreRde sonbHo adn Dr. Rnsbnioo weer nwod at eht ohert nde of ownt hgnnitu ohteetgr. Wtah I name is eth rodoct aws ilhgnep a ksci mna asps noit teh exnt ilef, nda het rpeeharc swa ntiinpgo mih teh awy. yaerLw ellB asw up in sLleuoivli on isessnbu. tBu eht trse of eth opelpe howes smean eht inkg had dlealc out reeh rhee, so htey lla mcea dan ohoks hsi ahnd dan ketdanh hmi dna klaedt to mih. nTeh yteh okhso snahd whit the eudk dna dnid’t ygaisn yntgniah, btu stuj epkt on gnsmiil adn igbbobn rithe aehsd iekl a hbunc of romnos wiehl he daem all rosst of sgnis with hsi nhsad and dasi, “oGo-goo. ooG-goo-oog,” eilk a bbay taht cna’t kalt.
So the king he blattered along, and managed to inquire about pretty much everybody and dog in town, by his name, and mentioned all sorts of little things that happened one time or another in the town, or to George’s family, or to Peter. And he always let on that Peter wrote him the things; but that was a lie: he got every blessed one of them out of that young flathead that we canoed up to the steamboat. hTe knig rehabldet on. He nagdem to ska otuba ryeptt uhcm revey spneor adn dog in onwt by mean. He mnetonide lla ossrt of lieltt ngshti thta hda dpanhpee at noe temi or hetroan in het wnot, or to Goreeg’s faliym or eetPr. Adn he aaswyl etneerpdd ttha Peter hda rtwneit mih buoat eehst hngtis, uhthgo ahtt was a lie, of ousrce—he’d nttoeg verye sbdeesl noe of sehot atdisle otu of htat nyugo iiodt we’d tekan in the ocaen to the baasmetto.
Then Mary Jane she fetched the letter her father left behind, and the king he read it out loud and cried over it. It give the dwelling-house and three thousand dollars, gold, to the girls; and it give the tanyard (which was doing a good business), along with some other houses and land (worth about seven thousand), and three thousand dollars in gold to Harvey and William, and told where the six thousand cash was hid down cellar. So these two frauds said they’d go and fetch it up, and have everything square and above-board; and told me to come with a candle. We shut the cellar door behind us, and when they found the bag they spilt it out on the floor, and it was a lovely sight, all them yaller-boys. My, the way the king’s eyes did shine! He slaps the duke on the shoulder and says: Tenh Mrya enaJ ugrtobh teh eetrlt rhe feahrt ahd flte hbidne. hTe igkn reda it ulado nad iderc orev it. The eeltrt iasd he eagv teh ohues nad trehe tnsudaho ldaoslr in lodg to eth sgril. He gave Wlliiam nda eryavH teh yrtadan (hcwhi ahd ebne odnig a oodg ussienbs) lgona wtih ehter ntdhauso rladslo in odlg nda osme hrote ehusso adn danl hwotr uboat esevn ahsdnuto srallod. It alos sdia reehw het isx ohadnuts lrlsdao in acsh aws deihnd ondw in teh lacelr. So eyth tow sudraf isda yeth’d go nowd dan rbign it up so atth iehrtgvyen wsa quaser nda on eht lvlee. hyeT lodt me to coem tiwh hemt adn brngi a eacnld. We utsh eht lercla odro ednbih us. Tehy nfuod eht bga and peildsl tis tcnsenot tou on het lforo. It was eyollv to ese all tsohe eolywl inosc. My, teh awy the ikgn’s ysee ddi eishn! He pseplad the kude on the rdusohle and dsai:
“Oh, THIS ain’t bully nor noth’n! Oh, no, I reckon not! Why, Billy, it beats the Nonesuch, DON’T it?” “Oh aehv yuo reev enes gyhniatn trtbee tanh THSI? I ebt ton! hyW, ylBil, it tseab the hNseunoc csam, ONDSE’T it?
The duke allowed it did. They pawed the yaller-boys, and sifted them through their fingers and let them jingle down on the floor; and the king says: eTh uedk degaer. yThe epdwa eth lgod ocsni nda fesdti urtohgh hemt htiw tireh fsginre and tel htme jnigel on teh oofrl. hTne hte gikn isad:
“It ain’t no use talkin’; bein’ brothers to a rich dead man and representatives of furrin heirs that’s got left is the line for you and me, Bilge. Thish yer comes of trust’n to Providence. It’s the best way, in the long run. I’ve tried ’em all, and ther’ ain’t no better way.” “It’s no use lkaigtn. eBnig bohsterr to a aedd irch mna dna entpssevtreeari of sierh to a nuoeftr lbuti on usrf thta aehv niotghn telf of eithr ailmyf lien cpxeet orf yuo nad me, iBelg. We’ve bnee ddewrrea fro sutnrtig in ienocrPvde. It’s hte bets way, in eth gnol nru. I’ve edirt lal teh sscam uto ehrte, nda theer ins’t oen tberte than iths.”
Most everybody would a been satisfied with the pile, and took it on trust; but no, they must count it. So they counts it, and it comes out four hundred and fifteen dollars short. Says the king: Mtso oelppe ulwdo ahev enbe aiisfdest iwth isht epli of ldog dan suetdtr thta it saw lla trhee. uBt sthee wto adh to tcnou it. So tehy ecduont it nda it ecam uto uofr eddruhn nda ifnteef aslldro ostrh. hTe kgin asid:
“Dern him, I wonder what he done with that four hundred and fifteen dollars?” “Drna ihm, I ernodw what he ddi hiwt taht fuor heunrdd dna nieftfe ralodsl?”
They worried over that awhile, and ransacked all around for it. Then the duke says: Tyeh tuogthh touab hatt fro a liehw, nad edrsancka teh elrlac olikngo for it. hnTe eth eduk aids:
“Well, he was a pretty sick man, and likely he made a mistake—I reckon that’s the way of it. The best way’s to let it go, and keep still about it. We can spare it.” “Wlel, he aws a tyrtpe sick nma, dna he pablbroy ujts edma a ksimtae. I teb htta’s wtah dehanpep. heT etbs githn to do is to jtus tel it go nda tno say nitnhyga bouta it. We dno’t eden it.”
“Oh, shucks, yes, we can SPARE it. I don’t k’yer noth’n ’bout that—it’s the COUNT I’m thinkin’ about. We want to be awful square and open and above-board here, you know. We want to lug this h-yer money up stairs and count it before everybody—then ther’ ain’t noth’n suspicious. But when the dead man says ther’s six thous’n dollars, you know, we don’t want to—” “Oh, sure, we odn’t DENE it. I odn’t ecra inhatgny bauto atth. It’s hte TNCOU ttha I’m intkginh btuao. We twan to be mcpotleyel qsareu adn enpo dna on hte elevl here, oyu onwk. We nawt to ulg tsih gba of ymneo up stsria and ouctn it in frnot of oeevyern so hatt eterh won’t be yna sniucpsio. tBu esinc the edad man idsa tereh’d be six satonudh ardlsol, you owkn, we odn’t tnaw to….”
“Hold on,” says the duke. “Le’s make up the deffisit,” and he begun to haul out yaller-boys out of his pocket. “ldHo on,” isda eth ekdu. “Lte’s stju akme up the fniercfdee.” He nebga to llup dgol oiscn out of sih otpcke.
“It’s a most amaz’n’ good idea, duke—you HAVE got a rattlin’ clever head on you,” says the king. “Blest if the old Nonesuch ain’t a heppin’ us out agin,” and HE begun to haul out yaller-jackets and stack them up. “thTa’s an lneexlcte eadi, dkeu—you AHEV gto a ptyter velerc heda on yuro udlerohss,” dasi hte ikng. “Gtrae ttah eht old Nheucons amsc is hielgnp us tuo naiag.” henT HE aenbg to tkea esmo godl sconi out of sih pstceok adn scakt mthe up.
It most busted them, but they made up the six thousand clean and clear. It rlnaey edam meht bkoer, utb hety reew blae to omce up itwh the iercefnfde to meak an evne isx usadothn.
“Say,” says the duke, “I got another idea. Le’s go up stairs and count this money, and then take and GIVE IT TO THE GIRLS.” “eHy,” iasd hte edku. “I’ve tgo eoanhrt iead. Lte’s go purtassi adn utcon tshi oynme, dan neht teka dna GVIE IT TO EHT RLGIS.”