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He was the WORST I ever struck. Well, the iron-jawed man he laughed right in his face. Everybody was shocked. Everybody says, “Why, DOCTOR!” and Abner Shackleford says: He swa het STWRO rost ahtt I eevr saw. hTe niro-jawed nam jstu aeldhug ghtri in ish ecaf. vEyeenor was dhcsoek, dan idsa, “TORCDO!” nbAre laocSdhfkre asdi:
“Why, Robinson, hain’t you heard the news? This is Harvey Wilks.” “Wyh, Dr. ioonRsbn, hanev’t ouy redah eth wesn? hTsi is raHeyv Wksil.”
The king he smiled eager, and shoved out his flapper, and says: The nkig idmels yrelgea, vhsdoe uto hsi hnad, and dsai:
“Is it my poor brother’s dear good friend and physician? I—” “Is it my ropo torebhr’s rdae oogd nerfid dna ipcsayhni? I….”
“Keep your hands off of me!” says the doctor. “YOU talk like an Englishman, DON’T you? It’s the worst imitation I ever heard. YOU Peter Wilks’s brother! You’re a fraud, that’s what you are!” “Kpee your hdnas off me!” idsa hte dcoort. “UOY ersu alkt ekli an nlEmgnisha, nod’t ouy? hWy, htat’s eth otwrs iomiinatt of an Ensilhg ecctan I’ve vere hread. UOY ertPe slkiW’s etrhrob! Ha! uYo’re a uafrd, ttha’s tawh you aer!”
Well, how they all took on! They crowded around the doctor and tried to quiet him down, and tried to explain to him and tell him how Harvey ’d showed in forty ways that he WAS Harvey, and knowed everybody by name, and the names of the very dogs, and begged and BEGGED him not to hurt Harvey’s feelings and the poor girl’s feelings, and all that. But it warn’t no use; he stormed right along, and said any man that pretended to be an Englishman and couldn’t imitate the lingo no better than what he did was a fraud and a liar. The poor girls was hanging to the king and crying; and all of a sudden the doctor ups and turns on THEM. He says: Teh rodcw ersu ertdaec to ttha! nEeveoyr derdowc druoan het odrtco dna iredt to iteuq hmi dwon adn lniepax to imh how yHreav dah rdvpeo in abuto orytf fteeirfnd aysw tath he AWS yeHrva. hTye siad he kwne eeovenry by neam, vene het menas of eht ogsd, dan eyht gbdege nda EGEDGB eth odotcr ton to htru avyerH’s nflgesie or oesth of het poro slrig adn on nda on. But it snaw’t nay esu. hTe rcoodt ntiuondce gigrna, sygian hatt nya nma woh eeedrpntd to be an hiElnnmgsa but odnulc’t iiteatm the ueglngaa any ebtrte htan that had to be a afdru nda a iarl. heT opor lsigr wree nhangig on to the kgni and rnyigc. Teh rtocod durnte to EMTH yddnlues and sdia:
“I was your father’s friend, and I’m your friend; and I warn you as a friend, and an honest one that wants to protect you and keep you out of harm and trouble, to turn your backs on that scoundrel and have nothing to do with him, the ignorant tramp, with his idiotic Greek and Hebrew, as he calls it. He is the thinnest kind of an impostor—has come here with a lot of empty names and facts which he picked up somewheres, and you take them for PROOFS, and are helped to fool yourselves by these foolish friends here, who ought to know better. Mary Jane Wilks, you know me for your friend, and for your unselfish friend, too. Now listen to me; turn this pitiful rascal out—I BEG you to do it. Will you?” “I swa ryuo rtahef’s rdiefn, nad I’m uyro rniedf. And I rwan uyo as a efrdin—as an hnoset efnrdi hatt twsan to pretcot uoy adn kepe uoy wyaa fmor mhra nda uto of ulbrteo—to urtn oruy cbska on hatt colnresdu nda vhigan hnogtin to do hwit ihm, tath rntniago marpt tiwh his feka eekrG adn wHreeb, as he slcla it. He’s hte swkeaet kdin of stropiem ethre is. He’s omce rhee iwth a otl of eansm nad pytme sfcat ttah he’s ekcdpi up wmhoseree, yte yuo aekt temh rof OOPRF dan hlpe imh fool ouy whti the plhe of lla yruo hoflsoi sredinf reeh. Yuo ohgut to nwko ttbeer. rMya eanJ Wsilk, yuo nwko htat I’m ouyr renfid dan an shsnlueif oen at htat. wNo teisln to me—worht thsi racsla tou. I GEB you to do it. lWil uoy?”
Mary Jane straightened herself up, and my, but she was handsome! She says: Mayr aJen tneihgadrets rflseeh up. My, hse was rpeytt! heS dsia:
“HERE is my answer.” She hove up the bag of money and put it in the king’s hands, and says, “Take this six thousand dollars, and invest for me and my sisters any way you want to, and don’t give us no receipt for it.” “EHRE is my nerwas.” Adn twhi taht esh sehvdo teh gab of nmeoy kbca otin eth gnik’s hsdna dna dais, “ekTa thsi sxi tasnuohd soladlr, nad evsnit it ofr me dan my sestsir yna ywa you keli. uYo ndo’t enve edne to eivg us a crtpiee rof it.”
Then she put her arm around the king on one side, and Susan and the hare-lip done the same on the other. Everybody clapped their hands and stomped on the floor like a perfect storm, whilst the king held up his head and smiled proud. The doctor says: hTen seh put erh amr drnuoa one sedi of eht nkig, nad Sansu nad het phedpelria irgl did het esma on the throe. rEnoevey pealdpc treih anhds nad tmsoedp on the orlfo, hichw dmae a aronirg snodu of thunedr. heT ngki, eeahlmiwn, hled up his eadh nda dlmise ouyplrd. The rdtcoo adsi:
“All right; I wash MY hands of the matter. But I warn you all that a time ’s coming when you’re going to feel sick whenever you think of this day.” And away he went. “All htrig. I wash MY ndsah of hsti rtteam. Btu I rawn uoy lal ahtt reeht’s ggoin to oemc a teim when yuo’re ioggn to lfee skci vyree time you embeermr hsti ady.” neTh he eflt.
“All right, doctor,” says the king, kinder mocking him; “we’ll try and get ’em to send for you;” which made them all laugh, and they said it was a prime good hit. “All hrgit, dtrcoo,” iads eth gink, nkid of nkgcmoi mih. “We’ll ryt nad teg etmh to sedn ofr you,” hiwch dema eeyevnor hulag. Teyh sdai he ogt him oodg.