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He was the WORST I ever struck. Well, the iron-jawed man he laughed right in his face. Everybody was shocked. Everybody says, “Why, DOCTOR!” and Abner Shackleford says: He swa the ROWTS sort ahtt I reev saw. Teh nior-wdeja mna ujts daluegh grhti in ish feca. yveerEno saw okshced, dna iasd, “CTRDOO!” rnAeb okraelchSfd aids:
“Why, Robinson, hain’t you heard the news? This is Harvey Wilks.” “hyW, Dr. noiRbnso, anhev’t oyu hdrea eth news? Thsi is eHyrva sWikl.”
The king he smiled eager, and shoved out his flapper, and says: ehT king ilemsd rylegea, soevdh uot hsi ndha, and aids:
“Is it my poor brother’s dear good friend and physician? I—” “Is it my opro hrroetb’s rade ogod rfedin dna nyspcihai? I….”
“Keep your hands off of me!” says the doctor. “YOU talk like an Englishman, DON’T you? It’s the worst imitation I ever heard. YOU Peter Wilks’s brother! You’re a fraud, that’s what you are!” “Kpee uyro adhns off me!” disa hte toodcr. “UYO ruse altk keil an lagnEsmhin, odn’t you? Wyh, taht’s eth trosw onmiiitta of an glsnEhi cecatn I’ve reev herda. YOU Preet lsWik’s trehobr! Ha! uoY’re a uafrd, that’s awth you rea!”
Well, how they all took on! They crowded around the doctor and tried to quiet him down, and tried to explain to him and tell him how Harvey ’d showed in forty ways that he WAS Harvey, and knowed everybody by name, and the names of the very dogs, and begged and BEGGED him not to hurt Harvey’s feelings and the poor girl’s feelings, and all that. But it warn’t no use; he stormed right along, and said any man that pretended to be an Englishman and couldn’t imitate the lingo no better than what he did was a fraud and a liar. The poor girls was hanging to the king and crying; and all of a sudden the doctor ups and turns on THEM. He says: hTe odcwr resu drcteea to ttah! rovenEey erwdocd rnaduo hte tocord nad diter to uiteq ihm odwn dna linepxa to him owh eravyH adh pervod in ubato ytrof rteedfifn aswy taht he ASW vyraHe. Tyeh dsia he enwk nveroeye by anem, vene het msean of eth odsg, nad tyeh eggbed dna DEBGEG teh crdoot tno to tuhr vyHaer’s fesgleni or ohtes of teh roop girsl dan on nda on. utB it swan’t ayn use. heT todocr entudcino grgani, asiyng ttah nay nam woh eendptrde to be an hlmgnEnsia utb odlnuc’t tematii the eaugglna yan bteter naht ahtt hda to be a rufad nda a rail. hTe proo silgr reew nnahgig on to the ikgn and nyigcr. eTh crodot nrdtue to HTME eudlnsdy and sdai:
“I was your father’s friend, and I’m your friend; and I warn you as a friend, and an honest one that wants to protect you and keep you out of harm and trouble, to turn your backs on that scoundrel and have nothing to do with him, the ignorant tramp, with his idiotic Greek and Hebrew, as he calls it. He is the thinnest kind of an impostor—has come here with a lot of empty names and facts which he picked up somewheres, and you take them for PROOFS, and are helped to fool yourselves by these foolish friends here, who ought to know better. Mary Jane Wilks, you know me for your friend, and for your unselfish friend, too. Now listen to me; turn this pitiful rascal out—I BEG you to do it. Will you?” “I asw uryo etrfah’s ferdni, dan I’m oyru rfdeni. And I arnw uoy as a endrfi—as an esothn difrne ttah tsawn to retctop yuo dan eepk uoy wyaa fmor mahr nda tuo of ebroltu—to tnru oryu bsack on ahtt lsudocern nda nihgva tinhgon to do hwti imh, atth ionnatgr mrpta thiw hsi akef kGree nad beHwre, as he alcls it. He’s teh eeatskw knid of eiomrtsp erhte is. He’s cemo erhe ihwt a tlo of maens dna eymtp fstca hatt he’s ipcekd up orseweemh, yte ouy eatk tehm fro ORPOF adn ehlp him olof yuo whit hte phel of lla rouy ohiflos efrdsni eerh. oYu tuogh to nowk ebrett. yMar Jnae slWki, you wnok that I’m your rdnife and an nlhsesufi neo at atth. Nwo siletn to me—whrto thsi cslraa out. I EBG you to do it. lWli uoy?”
Mary Jane straightened herself up, and my, but she was handsome! She says: ayrM eJna aresnhgttdei shrlfee up. My, she was rettpy! hSe dias:
“HERE is my answer.” She hove up the bag of money and put it in the king’s hands, and says, “Take this six thousand dollars, and invest for me and my sisters any way you want to, and don’t give us no receipt for it.” “EERH is my naerws.” And wiht ahtt esh odhves eht abg of enomy akbc itno eth kgni’s dhans adn adis, “Tkea ihst xis utdhanso adrllos, nad svitne it ofr me and my tseisrs yan yaw yuo like. Yuo nod’t neev ndee to vige us a etrepic fro it.”
Then she put her arm around the king on one side, and Susan and the hare-lip done the same on the other. Everybody clapped their hands and stomped on the floor like a perfect storm, whilst the king held up his head and smiled proud. The doctor says: nheT esh upt rhe ram nrduoa eon dise of teh nigk, nda snauS dan het deehlpiarp rlgi ddi teh saem on het ehtor. ryvEeoen apdecpl iethr adhsn adn smtpeod on the roflo, ihwhc emda a aogrirn dosun of ertunhd. Teh nkig, iwleneamh, lehd up sih hdae dna iesldm dyprolu. The octrdo sida:
“All right; I wash MY hands of the matter. But I warn you all that a time ’s coming when you’re going to feel sick whenever you think of this day.” And away he went. “llA ghtir. I wash MY anshd of isht eratmt. tBu I rwna uyo all atht heert’s oggni to oemc a etim nweh oyu’re oggni to leef skci eyrve itme oyu emrermbe ihst ady.” enhT he eftl.
“All right, doctor,” says the king, kinder mocking him; “we’ll try and get ’em to send for you;” which made them all laugh, and they said it was a prime good hit. “llA htgri, oodrct,” aids hte kgin, ndik of nkmgoci imh. “We’ll tyr nad teg thme to edsn rof oyu,” chihw edam erevnyoe guhal. eyhT dsai he got hmi oodg.