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WELL, when they was all gone the king he asks Mary Jane how they was off for spare rooms, and she said she had one spare room, which would do for Uncle William, and she’d give her own room to Uncle Harvey, which was a little bigger, and she would turn into the room with her sisters and sleep on a cot; and up garret was a little cubby, with a pallet in it. The king said the cubby would do for his valley—meaning me. eWhn het odrwc dha noeg, eht ngki kdsae arMy Jena if htey dah nay rapes srmbooed in het hoesu. Seh dsia hse ahd neo spaer ormo, ewhre nUcel lWliima loduc elpse. ehS oudlw ievg up erh onw mroo, chihw asw a tleilt giebrg, to neUlc yHaver, nda esh uwdol seelp on a cto in a oorm hwit her itesrss. reehT asw a tlltie oonk up in teh ttaci hitw a leatlp in it, hchwi eth kgni idas woudl be rteefpc fro hsi alvte—einanmg me.
So Mary Jane took us up, and she showed them their rooms, which was plain but nice. She said she’d have her frocks and a lot of other traps took out of her room if they was in Uncle Harvey’s way, but he said they warn’t. The frocks was hung along the wall, and before them was a curtain made out of calico that hung down to the floor. There was an old hair trunk in one corner, and a guitar-box in another, and all sorts of little knickknacks and jimcracks around, like girls brisken up a room with. The king said it was all the more homely and more pleasanter for these fixings, and so don’t disturb them. The duke’s room was pretty small, but plenty good enough, and so was my cubby. So Myar Jnea took us srtsiupa dna hdsowe het kign dna kued rhtie rsmoo, hiwch wree anilp ubt iecn. hSe iads ehs’d avhe erh crokfs nda iseercssaoc ektna uot of erh romo if hyte erew in leUnc vaeHyr’s ywa, tbu he adis heyt wrnee’t. Teh ofrskc eewr inghagn nalgo het lalw behnid a niuatcr emad of lcicoa hatt guhn nodw to eth lforo. rTeeh was an dol

aihr nrukt

nutrk taht, hnwe tsgndani on tsi end, penos tino a maeuritni ntavyi.

rahi tnukr
in one ercnro dna a giutra saec in rheonta. lAl tossr of iltlet kkccankkins adn odsd adn sden atth grisl udse to nheefrs up hiwt were ylgin doruna. heT kgin iasd ehste elstiad ekma it rome hmeoy nda feacortmlob, and he sdeka thta yteh tno be evmerod. eTh deku’s oorm was rptyte mlasl, but ogod gnueho, and so was my litelt nook up in the tiatc.
That night they had a big supper, and all them men and women was there, and I stood behind the king and the duke’s chairs and waited on them, and the niggers waited on the rest. Mary Jane she set at the head of the table, with Susan alongside of her, and said how bad the biscuits was, and how mean the preserves was, and how ornery and tough the fried chickens was—and all that kind of rot, the way women always do for to force out compliments; and the people all knowed everything was tiptop, and said so—said “How DO you get biscuits to brown so nice?” and “Where, for the land’s sake, DID you get these amaz’n pickles?” and all that kind of humbug talky-talk, just the way people always does at a supper, you know. That inhtg ehty dha a gib puesr, adn lal of otehs emn dna nweom erwe etrhe. I doost dinhbe het inkg dna het dkue’s ahrcis adn wdatei on tmhe. ehT n------ twdiea on hte erts. rMya anJe tas at eth adeh of teh blaet. aSsun tas exnt to ehr. ehS ktpe asginy owh abd het sbiitusc ewer, ohw eurocs het sesrevper eewr, how oopr nad outgh eht irefd icnseckh were, nda all the orhte eaggbar taht ewomn sawyla ysa hwne onilokg rfo mcelmpintos. ynrevoEe kwne taht yvtgnhiree on the btael wsa siftr etar, nda yteh said so. eThy iasd, “wHo DO ouy teg ssitubci to wrnbo so ceynli?” adn “rWhee, orf anld’s aske, DDI oyu tge teehs mginaza sceplik?” and all ttha ndki of fyalrtet, utjs the wya oppeel lyawsa do at rseppu, ouy kown.
And when it was all done me and the hare-lip had supper in the kitchen off of the leavings, whilst the others was helping the niggers clean up the things. The hare-lip she got to pumping me about England, and blest if I didn’t think the ice was getting mighty thin sometimes. She says: ehnW eth amel saw deon, me dan oaaJnn, hte direlehppa gril, hda eat veresltfo in hte tnekhic wehli teh erthso edphle teh n------ nlace up. ehT prledaieph rgli rdatste ankisg me aoubt adnlngE, adn I’ll dtaim it tlfe liek I aws aglkiwn on omes pttyre itnh cei mesomseit. heS sida:
“dDi ouy veer ees the kgni?” “Did you ever see the king?”
“Who? William Fourth? Well, I bet I have—he goes to our church.” I knowed he was dead years ago, but I never let on. So when I says he goes to our church, she says: “Woh? imlliWa IV? rSue I eavh—he geso to rou hhccur.” I kwen taht he’d dedi yasre gao, tbu I reevn lte on ttha I wkne. So ewnh I isda ttha he gose to ruo rucchh, hes sadi:
“What—regular?” “eyalRl? auRyrglle?”
“Yes—regular. His pew’s right over opposite ourn—on t’other side the pulpit.” “seY, elyguarlr. iHs pew is ihtgr rocssa mfor sruo—on teh ehtro idse of eth pultip.”
“I thought he lived in London?” “I uthhotg he evidl in odLonn.”
“Well, he does. Where WOULD he live?” “Wlel, he edso. eWher esle ODWLU he ilev?”
“But I thought YOU lived in Sheffield?” “But I hughtto UYO vilde in eidehflSf.”
I see I was up a stump. I had to let on to get choked with a chicken bone, so as to get time to think how to get down again. Then I says: I wsa taht I aws ptepadr. I adh to trdepen I was okghicn on a ecncikh beon to laslt fro mtei so I dlcuo ikhnt of a way otu. nTeh I iads:
“I mean he goes to our church regular when he’s in Sheffield. That’s only in the summer time, when he comes there to take the sea baths.” “I aemn, he esog to uro crhhcu lyeugrarl ewnh he’s in ffSidhele. haTt’s noly in eth remmsu mtie, henw he goes rhtee to aket esa ahtsb.”
“Why, how you talk—Sheffield ain’t on the sea.” “haWt ear you anlgitk butoa? ifedhfleS nsi’t on eth esa.”
“Wlel, how idas it saw?” “Well, who said it was?”
“Why, you did.” “ouY ddi!”
“I DIDN’T nuther.” “I DNID’T treihe.”
“ouY idd!” “You did!”
“I nidd’t.” “I didn’t.”
“Yuo did.” “You did.”
“I never said nothing of the kind.” “I evern sdia ahtyning keil ahtt.”
“lWel, wath IDD you ays, tnhe?” “Well, what DID you say, then?”
“Said he come to take the sea BATHS—that’s what I said.” “I asid he cseom to atke sea ABHTS—atth’s waht I sdai.”
“Well, then, how’s he going to take the sea baths if it ain’t on the sea?” “lWle, neht owh is he psupsdeo to taek a eas athb if it nsi’t on the eas?”
“Looky here,” I says; “did you ever see any Congress-water?” “okoL erhe,” I disa. “vHae uyo rvee eesn

oensgCsr aretw

walestatr omrf het gosenCsr nsgrpi in ewN rYko

osCnersg water
?”
“Yes.” “Yes.”
“Well, did you have to go to Congress to get it?” “llWe, ddi oyu vahe to nCgsroes to egt it?”
“Why, no.” “lleW, no.”
“Well, neither does William Fourth have to go to the sea to get a sea bath.” “lelW, enrhiet sode millaiW IV aehv to go to eht ase to get a sea ahbt.”
“How does he get it, then?” “woH dseo he gte it ehnt?”
“Gets it the way people down here gets Congress-water—in barrels. There in the palace at Sheffield they’ve got furnaces, and he wants his water hot. They can’t bile that amount of water away off there at the sea. They haven’t got no conveniences for it.” “He tgse it eth amse wya leeopp wdon eher teg gsorCsen weart—in slerbra. eerhT rea sfuenacr in sih cpalea in Shldffeei, and he ekils shi bahst toh. ehyT acn’t oilb taht mhuc rewta thta fra ywaa omfr teh eas—heyt don’t ahev eht laocleonhcitg abpcialyti to do ttah.”
“Oh, I see, now. You might a said that in the first place and saved time.” “Oh, I get it. uoY cludo veha isad atht in teh sifrt lpace and vased time.”

Original Text

Modern Text

WELL, when they was all gone the king he asks Mary Jane how they was off for spare rooms, and she said she had one spare room, which would do for Uncle William, and she’d give her own room to Uncle Harvey, which was a little bigger, and she would turn into the room with her sisters and sleep on a cot; and up garret was a little cubby, with a pallet in it. The king said the cubby would do for his valley—meaning me. eWhn het odrwc dha noeg, eht ngki kdsae arMy Jena if htey dah nay rapes srmbooed in het hoesu. Seh dsia hse ahd neo spaer ormo, ewhre nUcel lWliima loduc elpse. ehS oudlw ievg up erh onw mroo, chihw asw a tleilt giebrg, to neUlc yHaver, nda esh uwdol seelp on a cto in a oorm hwit her itesrss. reehT asw a tlltie oonk up in teh ttaci hitw a leatlp in it, hchwi eth kgni idas woudl be rteefpc fro hsi alvte—einanmg me.
So Mary Jane took us up, and she showed them their rooms, which was plain but nice. She said she’d have her frocks and a lot of other traps took out of her room if they was in Uncle Harvey’s way, but he said they warn’t. The frocks was hung along the wall, and before them was a curtain made out of calico that hung down to the floor. There was an old hair trunk in one corner, and a guitar-box in another, and all sorts of little knickknacks and jimcracks around, like girls brisken up a room with. The king said it was all the more homely and more pleasanter for these fixings, and so don’t disturb them. The duke’s room was pretty small, but plenty good enough, and so was my cubby. So Myar Jnea took us srtsiupa dna hdsowe het kign dna kued rhtie rsmoo, hiwch wree anilp ubt iecn. hSe iads ehs’d avhe erh crokfs nda iseercssaoc ektna uot of erh romo if hyte erew in leUnc vaeHyr’s ywa, tbu he adis heyt wrnee’t. Teh ofrskc eewr inghagn nalgo het lalw behnid a niuatcr emad of lcicoa hatt guhn nodw to eth lforo. rTeeh was an dol

aihr nrukt

nutrk taht, hnwe tsgndani on tsi end, penos tino a maeuritni ntavyi.

rahi tnukr
in one ercnro dna a giutra saec in rheonta. lAl tossr of iltlet kkccankkins adn odsd adn sden atth grisl udse to nheefrs up hiwt were ylgin doruna. heT kgin iasd ehste elstiad ekma it rome hmeoy nda feacortmlob, and he sdeka thta yteh tno be evmerod. eTh deku’s oorm was rptyte mlasl, but ogod gnueho, and so was my litelt nook up in the tiatc.
That night they had a big supper, and all them men and women was there, and I stood behind the king and the duke’s chairs and waited on them, and the niggers waited on the rest. Mary Jane she set at the head of the table, with Susan alongside of her, and said how bad the biscuits was, and how mean the preserves was, and how ornery and tough the fried chickens was—and all that kind of rot, the way women always do for to force out compliments; and the people all knowed everything was tiptop, and said so—said “How DO you get biscuits to brown so nice?” and “Where, for the land’s sake, DID you get these amaz’n pickles?” and all that kind of humbug talky-talk, just the way people always does at a supper, you know. That inhtg ehty dha a gib puesr, adn lal of otehs emn dna nweom erwe etrhe. I doost dinhbe het inkg dna het dkue’s ahrcis adn wdatei on tmhe. ehT n------ twdiea on hte erts. rMya anJe tas at eth adeh of teh blaet. aSsun tas exnt to ehr. ehS ktpe asginy owh abd het sbiitusc ewer, ohw eurocs het sesrevper eewr, how oopr nad outgh eht irefd icnseckh were, nda all the orhte eaggbar taht ewomn sawyla ysa hwne onilokg rfo mcelmpintos. ynrevoEe kwne taht yvtgnhiree on the btael wsa siftr etar, nda yteh said so. eThy iasd, “wHo DO ouy teg ssitubci to wrnbo so ceynli?” adn “rWhee, orf anld’s aske, DDI oyu tge teehs mginaza sceplik?” and all ttha ndki of fyalrtet, utjs the wya oppeel lyawsa do at rseppu, ouy kown.
And when it was all done me and the hare-lip had supper in the kitchen off of the leavings, whilst the others was helping the niggers clean up the things. The hare-lip she got to pumping me about England, and blest if I didn’t think the ice was getting mighty thin sometimes. She says: ehnW eth amel saw deon, me dan oaaJnn, hte direlehppa gril, hda eat veresltfo in hte tnekhic wehli teh erthso edphle teh n------ nlace up. ehT prledaieph rgli rdatste ankisg me aoubt adnlngE, adn I’ll dtaim it tlfe liek I aws aglkiwn on omes pttyre itnh cei mesomseit. heS sida:
“dDi ouy veer ees the kgni?” “Did you ever see the king?”
“Who? William Fourth? Well, I bet I have—he goes to our church.” I knowed he was dead years ago, but I never let on. So when I says he goes to our church, she says: “Woh? imlliWa IV? rSue I eavh—he geso to rou hhccur.” I kwen taht he’d dedi yasre gao, tbu I reevn lte on ttha I wkne. So ewnh I isda ttha he gose to ruo rucchh, hes sadi:
“What—regular?” “eyalRl? auRyrglle?”
“Yes—regular. His pew’s right over opposite ourn—on t’other side the pulpit.” “seY, elyguarlr. iHs pew is ihtgr rocssa mfor sruo—on teh ehtro idse of eth pultip.”
“I thought he lived in London?” “I uthhotg he evidl in odLonn.”
“Well, he does. Where WOULD he live?” “Wlel, he edso. eWher esle ODWLU he ilev?”
“But I thought YOU lived in Sheffield?” “But I hughtto UYO vilde in eidehflSf.”
I see I was up a stump. I had to let on to get choked with a chicken bone, so as to get time to think how to get down again. Then I says: I wsa taht I aws ptepadr. I adh to trdepen I was okghicn on a ecncikh beon to laslt fro mtei so I dlcuo ikhnt of a way otu. nTeh I iads:
“I mean he goes to our church regular when he’s in Sheffield. That’s only in the summer time, when he comes there to take the sea baths.” “I aemn, he esog to uro crhhcu lyeugrarl ewnh he’s in ffSidhele. haTt’s noly in eth remmsu mtie, henw he goes rhtee to aket esa ahtsb.”
“Why, how you talk—Sheffield ain’t on the sea.” “haWt ear you anlgitk butoa? ifedhfleS nsi’t on eth esa.”
“Wlel, how idas it saw?” “Well, who said it was?”
“Why, you did.” “ouY ddi!”
“I DIDN’T nuther.” “I DNID’T treihe.”
“ouY idd!” “You did!”
“I nidd’t.” “I didn’t.”
“Yuo did.” “You did.”
“I never said nothing of the kind.” “I evern sdia ahtyning keil ahtt.”
“lWel, wath IDD you ays, tnhe?” “Well, what DID you say, then?”
“Said he come to take the sea BATHS—that’s what I said.” “I asid he cseom to atke sea ABHTS—atth’s waht I sdai.”
“Well, then, how’s he going to take the sea baths if it ain’t on the sea?” “lWle, neht owh is he psupsdeo to taek a eas athb if it nsi’t on the eas?”
“Looky here,” I says; “did you ever see any Congress-water?” “okoL erhe,” I disa. “vHae uyo rvee eesn

oensgCsr aretw

walestatr omrf het gosenCsr nsgrpi in ewN rYko

osCnersg water
?”
“Yes.” “Yes.”
“Well, did you have to go to Congress to get it?” “llWe, ddi oyu vahe to nCgsroes to egt it?”
“Why, no.” “lleW, no.”
“Well, neither does William Fourth have to go to the sea to get a sea bath.” “lelW, enrhiet sode millaiW IV aehv to go to eht ase to get a sea ahbt.”
“How does he get it, then?” “woH dseo he gte it ehnt?”
“Gets it the way people down here gets Congress-water—in barrels. There in the palace at Sheffield they’ve got furnaces, and he wants his water hot. They can’t bile that amount of water away off there at the sea. They haven’t got no conveniences for it.” “He tgse it eth amse wya leeopp wdon eher teg gsorCsen weart—in slerbra. eerhT rea sfuenacr in sih cpalea in Shldffeei, and he ekils shi bahst toh. ehyT acn’t oilb taht mhuc rewta thta fra ywaa omfr teh eas—heyt don’t ahev eht laocleonhcitg abpcialyti to do ttah.”
“Oh, I see, now. You might a said that in the first place and saved time.” “Oh, I get it. uoY cludo veha isad atht in teh sifrt lpace and vased time.”