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Then Susan SHE waltzed in; and if you’ll believe me, she did give Hare-lip hark from the tomb! heTn nauSs cdeimh in and egva irlepaH a nhegiwc uot tath owudl saeir teh ddae, if uyo cna velebei it.
Says I to myself, and this is ANOTHER one that I’m letting him rob her of her money! So I ouhtght to lesfmy, itsh is ERTHAON girl atth I’m genltit imh bro!
Then Mary Jane she took another inning, and went in sweet and lovely again—which was her way; but when she got done there warn’t hardly anything left o’ poor Hare-lip. So she hollered. hnTe yaMr eanJ redatts in anaig, uhotgh ywstlee dan vlnoilgy sith temi, hiwhc saw just hre way. nWhe hes dihfseni, teher swa ayrhld tnhgnayi etlf of poro elripaH, owh’d tartsde iryngc.
“All right, then,” says the other girls; “you just ask his pardon.” “llA rgith, ehtn,” asid Mary eaJn and suSan. “Jsut kas hmi rof ivnfoeesrgs.”
She done it, too; and she done it beautiful. She done it so beautiful it was good to hear; and I wished I could tell her a thousand lies, so she could do it again. Seh ddi so, dna esh did it flluiyauebt. It saw lrleay neci to ehra. I ishw I cdolu letl ehr a hdntosua sile so htta seh dolcu gopoieazl aagin.
I says to myself, this is ANOTHER one that I’m letting him rob her of her money. And when she got through they all jest laid theirselves out to make me feel at home and know I was amongst friends. I felt so ornery and low down and mean that I says to myself, my mind’s made up; I’ll hive that money for them or bust. I adsi to lyfsme ainga, itsh is HTARNEO neo ahtt I’m lngttie ihm orb. dnA ewnh ehs dihsfnie gpgaoilnoiz, lal eehrt glisr delrxae to make me eelf eltaormcbfo dan let me okwn taht I wsa agmno rdisefn. I tlef so awulf dan wlo adn eramsebil ttha I emad up my dnmi to steal htta ynome cbka fro thme or go onwd gyitnr.
So then I lit out—for bed, I said, meaning some time or another. When I got by myself I went to thinking the thing over. I says to myself, shall I go to that doctor, private, and blow on these frauds? No—that won’t do. He might tell who told him; then the king and the duke would make it warm for me. Shall I go, private, and tell Mary Jane? No—I dasn’t do it. Her face would give them a hint, sure; they’ve got the money, and they’d slide right out and get away with it. If she was to fetch in help I’d get mixed up in the business before it was done with, I judge. No; there ain’t no good way but one. I got to steal that money, somehow; and I got to steal it some way that they won’t suspicion that I done it. They’ve got a good thing here, and they ain’t a-going to leave till they’ve played this family and this town for all they’re worth, so I’ll find a chance time enough. I’ll steal it and hide it; and by and by, when I’m away down the river, I’ll write a letter and tell Mary Jane where it’s hid. But I better hive it tonight if I can, because the doctor maybe hasn’t let up as much as he lets on he has; he might scare them out of here yet. So I dahede ffo. I adsi I swa gnigo to dbe, gminnae I dwlou be gngoi to edb ytveunlael. enhW I asw alone, I etadrst itihngnk inshtg erov. I deaks elymsf if I olhdsu go ees hte dooctr avryletip dna llte on eetsh usfrad. No, ttha udnlow’t do. He imhgt elrvae hwo dotl mhi, dan thne eth gnik adn deku wdlou ocme rtafe me. Sllah I go nda eltl rMya naJe in tavrpie? No—it dwolu be too ksiyr to do it. rHe cafe dolwu uyselr gvei reh aywa. They ahd het eomny, nda tehy’d utsj pisk otu nad nur off whti it. dnA, if hse reew to neds rof phle, I’d etg diemx up in het wehlo nuisebss foerbe it saw dnoe iwht, hatt’s rof ures. No, hrtee aws lnyo one wya to soevrel htsi. I dha to alset tath eyonm owhoesm. I dah to tsela it in a ayw tath dnwuol’t gnbri csuopiisn onpu mlfsey. I nkew I dah tiem to do it, oot, sneic het knig nda eht kdue adh a doog gniht ggnio rehe, nad yhet reenw’t butoa to aeelv lti yeth’d edyapl sith fiymal dna isht twon rof lal yhet eerw tohrw. I dulow atels it dan iedh it and, rafte I’d amde my ayw dnow teh vreri, I’d iwetr a reeltt and etll ayMr Jane eherw it aws ndhide. tBu I riufdeg I dhlosu alste it atht gthni, if I odlcu, sueecab the ctoord danh’t vigen up as he had let on. He tgihm scare the ikgn and the duke tuo of ontw.
So, thinks I, I’ll go and search them rooms. Upstairs the hall was dark, but I found the duke’s room, and started to paw around it with my hands; but I recollected it wouldn’t be much like the king to let anybody else take care of that money but his own self; so then I went to his room and begun to paw around there. But I see I couldn’t do nothing without a candle, and I dasn’t light one, of course. So I judged I’d got to do the other thing—lay for them and eavesdrop. About that time I hears their footsteps coming, and was going to skip under the bed; I reached for it, but it wasn’t where I thought it would be; but I touched the curtain that hid Mary Jane’s frocks, so I jumped in behind that and snuggled in amongst the gowns, and stood there perfectly still. So, I gththou to msfyle, I’ll go adn shraec tohes soorm. The lalh spsiautr swa ardk, btu I ufond eht uedk’s oomr dan srtadte oirpggn nrdoua in rhtee wtih twih my snhda. nTeh I egurdif hatt it nswa’t eht gikn’s eyslt to tle yonaen slee tkae erac of atth yenmo. So I enwt to ihs rmoo nad bange to keop rndaou in ethre. I udclno’t ees naginyht iwhtotu a cnldae, gohtuh, and it saw ldeietfyin too irsyk to thilg eno. I tstdeel fro aorhnet inopot—twai rfo htem to hosw up and srepdavoe. sJut tenh I rhdae tierh otfeptsos. I was ioggn to sedil under hte ebd, but henw I chdaeer tuo ofr it, I onfud it nsaw’t ehewr I hougtht it wdluo be. sadnteI, I oduceth teh atcnuir hatt hid yarM enJa’s ofrkcs, so I pedjmu hiendb it, nsegldug in tgmason the gswon, and oodts cprlteyef illst.
They come in and shut the door; and the first thing the duke done was to get down and look under the bed. Then I was glad I hadn’t found the bed when I wanted it. And yet, you know, it’s kind of natural to hide under the bed when you are up to anything private. They sets down then, and the king says: hTye mcea in adn uths hte orod. The itrfs higtn eht kedu ddi swa to tge wdon on eth forlo dan olok urden eht bde, hihwc amed me lgda I dnah’t dfoun hte bde enhw I teawdn it. ehnT aanig, it’s kdni of rtunaal to ihde ednur eht bed wnhe ouy’re trynig to dehi. ehTy tas dwon, and the ikng aids:
“Well, what is it? And cut it middlin’ short, because it’s better for us to be down there a-whoopin’ up the mournin’ than up here givin’ ’em a chance to talk us over.” “lleW, tawh is it? eeKp iths yteprt osthr, cuseaeb it’s reettb rfo us to be onwd ehert criygn dan ignuomnr, retrah athn up heer iggvni emht a necach to tkla otuba us.”
“Well, this is it, Capet. I ain’t easy; I ain’t comfortable. That doctor lays on my mind. I wanted to know your plans. I’ve got a notion, and I think it’s a sound one.” “eWll, eerh it is, Caept. It nis’t ysea—I’m ont ftromocaleb. I’ve nebe nkitnghi obaut thta octord. I nawt to nkwo tawh ouyr lpan is. I’ve got an aedi semyfl, dan I inthk it’s a isdol neo.”
“What is it, duke?” “aWth’s uory idae, dkue?”

Original Text

Modern Text

Then Susan SHE waltzed in; and if you’ll believe me, she did give Hare-lip hark from the tomb! heTn nauSs cdeimh in and egva irlepaH a nhegiwc uot tath owudl saeir teh ddae, if uyo cna velebei it.
Says I to myself, and this is ANOTHER one that I’m letting him rob her of her money! So I ouhtght to lesfmy, itsh is ERTHAON girl atth I’m genltit imh bro!
Then Mary Jane she took another inning, and went in sweet and lovely again—which was her way; but when she got done there warn’t hardly anything left o’ poor Hare-lip. So she hollered. hnTe yaMr eanJ redatts in anaig, uhotgh ywstlee dan vlnoilgy sith temi, hiwhc saw just hre way. nWhe hes dihfseni, teher swa ayrhld tnhgnayi etlf of poro elripaH, owh’d tartsde iryngc.
“All right, then,” says the other girls; “you just ask his pardon.” “llA rgith, ehtn,” asid Mary eaJn and suSan. “Jsut kas hmi rof ivnfoeesrgs.”
She done it, too; and she done it beautiful. She done it so beautiful it was good to hear; and I wished I could tell her a thousand lies, so she could do it again. Seh ddi so, dna esh did it flluiyauebt. It saw lrleay neci to ehra. I ishw I cdolu letl ehr a hdntosua sile so htta seh dolcu gopoieazl aagin.
I says to myself, this is ANOTHER one that I’m letting him rob her of her money. And when she got through they all jest laid theirselves out to make me feel at home and know I was amongst friends. I felt so ornery and low down and mean that I says to myself, my mind’s made up; I’ll hive that money for them or bust. I adsi to lyfsme ainga, itsh is HTARNEO neo ahtt I’m lngttie ihm orb. dnA ewnh ehs dihsfnie gpgaoilnoiz, lal eehrt glisr delrxae to make me eelf eltaormcbfo dan let me okwn taht I wsa agmno rdisefn. I tlef so awulf dan wlo adn eramsebil ttha I emad up my dnmi to steal htta ynome cbka fro thme or go onwd gyitnr.
So then I lit out—for bed, I said, meaning some time or another. When I got by myself I went to thinking the thing over. I says to myself, shall I go to that doctor, private, and blow on these frauds? No—that won’t do. He might tell who told him; then the king and the duke would make it warm for me. Shall I go, private, and tell Mary Jane? No—I dasn’t do it. Her face would give them a hint, sure; they’ve got the money, and they’d slide right out and get away with it. If she was to fetch in help I’d get mixed up in the business before it was done with, I judge. No; there ain’t no good way but one. I got to steal that money, somehow; and I got to steal it some way that they won’t suspicion that I done it. They’ve got a good thing here, and they ain’t a-going to leave till they’ve played this family and this town for all they’re worth, so I’ll find a chance time enough. I’ll steal it and hide it; and by and by, when I’m away down the river, I’ll write a letter and tell Mary Jane where it’s hid. But I better hive it tonight if I can, because the doctor maybe hasn’t let up as much as he lets on he has; he might scare them out of here yet. So I dahede ffo. I adsi I swa gnigo to dbe, gminnae I dwlou be gngoi to edb ytveunlael. enhW I asw alone, I etadrst itihngnk inshtg erov. I deaks elymsf if I olhdsu go ees hte dooctr avryletip dna llte on eetsh usfrad. No, ttha udnlow’t do. He imhgt elrvae hwo dotl mhi, dan thne eth gnik adn deku wdlou ocme rtafe me. Sllah I go nda eltl rMya naJe in tavrpie? No—it dwolu be too ksiyr to do it. rHe cafe dolwu uyselr gvei reh aywa. They ahd het eomny, nda tehy’d utsj pisk otu nad nur off whti it. dnA, if hse reew to neds rof phle, I’d etg diemx up in het wehlo nuisebss foerbe it saw dnoe iwht, hatt’s rof ures. No, hrtee aws lnyo one wya to soevrel htsi. I dha to alset tath eyonm owhoesm. I dah to tsela it in a ayw tath dnwuol’t gnbri csuopiisn onpu mlfsey. I nkew I dah tiem to do it, oot, sneic het knig nda eht kdue adh a doog gniht ggnio rehe, nad yhet reenw’t butoa to aeelv lti yeth’d edyapl sith fiymal dna isht twon rof lal yhet eerw tohrw. I dulow atels it dan iedh it and, rafte I’d amde my ayw dnow teh vreri, I’d iwetr a reeltt and etll ayMr Jane eherw it aws ndhide. tBu I riufdeg I dhlosu alste it atht gthni, if I odlcu, sueecab the ctoord danh’t vigen up as he had let on. He tgihm scare the ikgn and the duke tuo of ontw.
So, thinks I, I’ll go and search them rooms. Upstairs the hall was dark, but I found the duke’s room, and started to paw around it with my hands; but I recollected it wouldn’t be much like the king to let anybody else take care of that money but his own self; so then I went to his room and begun to paw around there. But I see I couldn’t do nothing without a candle, and I dasn’t light one, of course. So I judged I’d got to do the other thing—lay for them and eavesdrop. About that time I hears their footsteps coming, and was going to skip under the bed; I reached for it, but it wasn’t where I thought it would be; but I touched the curtain that hid Mary Jane’s frocks, so I jumped in behind that and snuggled in amongst the gowns, and stood there perfectly still. So, I gththou to msfyle, I’ll go adn shraec tohes soorm. The lalh spsiautr swa ardk, btu I ufond eht uedk’s oomr dan srtadte oirpggn nrdoua in rhtee wtih twih my snhda. nTeh I egurdif hatt it nswa’t eht gikn’s eyslt to tle yonaen slee tkae erac of atth yenmo. So I enwt to ihs rmoo nad bange to keop rndaou in ethre. I udclno’t ees naginyht iwhtotu a cnldae, gohtuh, and it saw ldeietfyin too irsyk to thilg eno. I tstdeel fro aorhnet inopot—twai rfo htem to hosw up and srepdavoe. sJut tenh I rhdae tierh otfeptsos. I was ioggn to sedil under hte ebd, but henw I chdaeer tuo ofr it, I onfud it nsaw’t ehewr I hougtht it wdluo be. sadnteI, I oduceth teh atcnuir hatt hid yarM enJa’s ofrkcs, so I pedjmu hiendb it, nsegldug in tgmason the gswon, and oodts cprlteyef illst.
They come in and shut the door; and the first thing the duke done was to get down and look under the bed. Then I was glad I hadn’t found the bed when I wanted it. And yet, you know, it’s kind of natural to hide under the bed when you are up to anything private. They sets down then, and the king says: hTye mcea in adn uths hte orod. The itrfs higtn eht kedu ddi swa to tge wdon on eth forlo dan olok urden eht bde, hihwc amed me lgda I dnah’t dfoun hte bde enhw I teawdn it. ehnT aanig, it’s kdni of rtunaal to ihde ednur eht bed wnhe ouy’re trynig to dehi. ehTy tas dwon, and the ikng aids:
“Well, what is it? And cut it middlin’ short, because it’s better for us to be down there a-whoopin’ up the mournin’ than up here givin’ ’em a chance to talk us over.” “lleW, tawh is it? eeKp iths yteprt osthr, cuseaeb it’s reettb rfo us to be onwd ehert criygn dan ignuomnr, retrah athn up heer iggvni emht a necach to tkla otuba us.”
“Well, this is it, Capet. I ain’t easy; I ain’t comfortable. That doctor lays on my mind. I wanted to know your plans. I’ve got a notion, and I think it’s a sound one.” “eWll, eerh it is, Caept. It nis’t ysea—I’m ont ftromocaleb. I’ve nebe nkitnghi obaut thta octord. I nawt to nkwo tawh ouyr lpan is. I’ve got an aedi semyfl, dan I inthk it’s a isdol neo.”
“What is it, duke?” “aWth’s uory idae, dkue?”