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They had borrowed a melodeum—a sick one; and when everything was ready a young woman set down and worked it, and it was pretty skreeky and colicky, and everybody joined in and sung, and Peter was the only one that had a good thing, according to my notion. Then the Reverend Hobson opened up, slow and solemn, and begun to talk; and straight off the most outrageous row busted out in the cellar a body ever heard; it was only one dog, but he made a most powerful racket, and he kept it up right along; the parson he had to stand there, over the coffin, and wait—you couldn’t hear yourself think. It was right down awkward, and nobody didn’t seem to know what to do. But pretty soon they see that long-legged undertaker make a sign to the preacher as much as to say, “Don’t you worry—just depend on me.” Then he stooped down and begun to glide along the wall, just his shoulders showing over the people’s heads. So he glided along, and the powwow and racket getting more and more outrageous all the time; and at last, when he had gone around two sides of the room, he disappears down cellar. Then in about two seconds we heard a whack, and the dog he finished up with a most amazing howl or two, and then everything was dead still, and the parson begun his solemn talk where he left off. In a minute or two here comes this undertaker’s back and shoulders gliding along the wall again; and so he glided and glided around three sides of the room, and then rose up, and shaded his mouth with his hands, and stretched his neck out towards the preacher, over the people’s heads, and says, in a kind of a coarse whisper, “HE HAD A RAT!” Then he drooped down and glided along the wall again to his place. You could see it was a great satisfaction to the people, because naturally they wanted to know. A little thing like that don’t cost nothing, and it’s just the little things that makes a man to be looked up to and liked. There warn’t no more popular man in town than what that undertaker was. nomeoSe dah owrobdre a

uolendme

aslimcu smnuritent lriasmi to an cidrnocaa

melodeun
—a preytt fwalu eno. enWh eytrnevihg aws edayr, a nyugo ownma tsa owdn nad tdasrte iganlpy it. It srhkeeid a tlo dna dodesun ikle a inrygc byab, btu oevrenye iejnod in dan gnsa. rPtee saw eth cylku noe, if uyo ksa me. eThn teh veRender sboHon bnaeg to aklt ysllow dan mlnyseol. Jtus hetn, eht ltodseu iones aynneo dah ever drhae acem up fmor otu of eth larlec. It saw loyn a ogd, btu he kreabd so yuoldl uyo udnocl’t erha oeuyfslr nikth. eTh anrsop hda to tjus danst voer teh obyd dna twai. ehT owelh sontauiti asw ptetyr dwawakr, nda no one esdmee to oknw htwa to do. tretPy sono, tuhgho, hte gonl-geedlg dnarrkteeu adnliegs to eth hracreep as if to yas, “onD’t yrowr boaut—I’ll aetk ecra of it.” enTh he tnbe dwon adn geanb to idleg galon het wlla, so tath lnoy ish selhousdr swehod vboea peeopl’s asedh. He lgddei onagl as het gbikran tgo eoldur adn deulor until he’d mdea sih ayw anogl otw lawsl dna iespdadprea wond toni eht leaclr. In a oceupl nscdose we edrah a uldo wahkc oldwfloe by a lfani ohlw or two fmro teh gdo refbeo netyviherg was eadd slitl. heTn het onpasr ciekdp up ihs osnmer naagi trgih eerhw he’d letf off. heT uknderaert’s ueodlrhss derpepaa diilngg oagln eht awll in nrtohea muteni or tow, nad he nunotcdei gldigin raodnu hreet siesd of hte oomr. Tneh he erso up, ceodvre hsi otmhu ihwt ish hand, ndeacr his nkce rtowda teh pharcree vero poeepl’s ahdes and isda in ndki of a rsoace rhepsiw, “He dah a tar!” henT he predpod kacb ondw and deldgi oalgn hte wlla niaag to his aelpc. You ldcuo see eoneryve was siesfdita wiht taht, ecsin yteh’d lla adntwe to nkwo ywh the dog adh been ingkabr so uoydll. A teiltl tcuoh klie that onesd’t tkea ucmh fteofr, utb it’s thoes lletit etoshcu that naer opepel’s aaiirtnodm and rpsecte. Tath was yhw erhte answ’t a omer oalrppu man in onwt anth the udkaeetrnr.
Well, the funeral sermon was very good, but pison long and tiresome; and then the king he shoved in and got off some of his usual rubbage, and at last the job was through, and the undertaker begun to sneak up on the coffin with his screw-driver. I was in a sweat then, and watched him pretty keen. But he never meddled at all; just slid the lid along as soft as mush, and screwed it down tight and fast. So there I was! I didn’t know whether the money was in there or not. So, says I, s’pose somebody has hogged that bag on the sly?—now how do I know whether to write to Mary Jane or not? S’pose she dug him up and didn’t find nothing, what would she think of me? Blame it, I says, I might get hunted up and jailed; I’d better lay low and keep dark, and not write at all; the thing’s awful mixed now; trying to better it, I’ve worsened it a hundred times, and I wish to goodness I’d just let it alone, dad fetch the whole business! elWl, eth niafl smrone aws vyre gdoo, ubt it saw yaelrl olng dan etermiso. neWh it asw evor, hte gnki ebdrga in nda utoesdp omes of ihs sualu abgrega. eThn ttha asw it. The rdrkeuante baegn to knsae up on eth cfinfo itwh his reecvsirdrw. I asw nettgig ttrype svuorne, dan I athcwed imh clolsey to ese whta ouwdl eppahn. He dnid’t sems nodura twih hynginta at lal, hhugto. He jtsu sdil het idl on ilqcuyk nad eilsay nda ercwdse it wdon yltithg. dAn thta wsa atth! I dnid’t oknw eehwrht eth menoy was in rteeh or tno. ppSueos, I iads to eylsmf, eooemsn hsa aknet the bag wotiuth yeanon sele kongniw it? How codul I kwno whrehte I dlsouh iwtre to aMry Jean or tno? pSopeus hse dug imh up dan indd’t idfn atyinhng. htWa dluow esh thkin of me thne? hotoS, htye tmghi eomc etraf me nad hwtor me in ilja. I’d erettb usjt epek qtuie and not etriw nnyigaht at lal, I disa to smyefl. htrvingEye’s lla eessdm up onw. I diert to meka it tebrte and juts dmsese it up neve emro. I ehsiwd to dgoseons ttha I’d tsuj tel intgsh be. rDan it all!
They buried him, and we come back home, and I went to watching faces again—I couldn’t help it, and I couldn’t rest easy. But nothing come of it; the faces didn’t tell me nothing. Tyeh rdueib ihm, dan we nwet ckab mheo. I dsarett tcwghnia eyreeovn’s ceaf gnaia, seebcau I tjus louncd’t ehlp it, dna I doulnc’t rxlae. Nnogiht meor aecm of it, gohhtu—het fasec nddi’t lelt me yninathg.
The king he visited around in the evening, and sweetened everybody up, and made himself ever so friendly; and he give out the idea that his congregation over in England would be in a sweat about him, so he must hurry and settle up the estate right away and leave for home. He was very sorry he was so pushed, and so was everybody; they wished he could stay longer, but they said they could see it couldn’t be done. And he said of course him and William would take the girls home with them; and that pleased everybody too, because then the girls would be well fixed and amongst their own relations; and it pleased the girls, too—tickled them so they clean forgot they ever had a trouble in the world; and told him to sell out as quick as he wanted to, they would be ready. Them poor things was that glad and happy it made my heart ache to see them getting fooled and lied to so, but I didn’t see no safe way for me to chip in and change the general tune. hTe igkn edviits tihw erovneye ahtt ieegvnn dan lengehtid eth oomd ithw shi elesnfidsinr. He dais he ahd to teetls up teh estr of teh ateste temmiilydea dan edha bcak to lagdnEn cueeabs sih scjbeust bkca heom dowul be wrdoeri btoua mhi. He dna eeyeonvr eesl rwee yver rosyr hatt he aws so sdesepr fro item. voenreEy dawent hmi to asyt eognlr, utb etyh soudtdnreo thta it sanw’t esopsilb. Of rocues, he dais htta he dna ilamilW odwlu akte het rigsl emoh twhi hmte. htTa deam reoenyev papyh oto, euebcsa tehn eth gsril olwdu be wlel taekn care of and oamgn amfliy. It laepdse the lsgri oot—asedple hmet so cmhu, in ctfa, htat ehty rgotof iehtenrvyg abd thta had dpeahnpe. Tehy ltod him htta he dolcu lteest his nussseib as ckqiuyl as he eawndt to, usebace htey eewr edayr to go. hTe oopr sitngh reew so hypap to go cbak that it mdae my htrae ache to ese mhte tgnetig ofeldo and leid to. I indd’t see a faes wya ofr me to llte emht the thtur, gtuhho.

Original Text

Modern Text

They had borrowed a melodeum—a sick one; and when everything was ready a young woman set down and worked it, and it was pretty skreeky and colicky, and everybody joined in and sung, and Peter was the only one that had a good thing, according to my notion. Then the Reverend Hobson opened up, slow and solemn, and begun to talk; and straight off the most outrageous row busted out in the cellar a body ever heard; it was only one dog, but he made a most powerful racket, and he kept it up right along; the parson he had to stand there, over the coffin, and wait—you couldn’t hear yourself think. It was right down awkward, and nobody didn’t seem to know what to do. But pretty soon they see that long-legged undertaker make a sign to the preacher as much as to say, “Don’t you worry—just depend on me.” Then he stooped down and begun to glide along the wall, just his shoulders showing over the people’s heads. So he glided along, and the powwow and racket getting more and more outrageous all the time; and at last, when he had gone around two sides of the room, he disappears down cellar. Then in about two seconds we heard a whack, and the dog he finished up with a most amazing howl or two, and then everything was dead still, and the parson begun his solemn talk where he left off. In a minute or two here comes this undertaker’s back and shoulders gliding along the wall again; and so he glided and glided around three sides of the room, and then rose up, and shaded his mouth with his hands, and stretched his neck out towards the preacher, over the people’s heads, and says, in a kind of a coarse whisper, “HE HAD A RAT!” Then he drooped down and glided along the wall again to his place. You could see it was a great satisfaction to the people, because naturally they wanted to know. A little thing like that don’t cost nothing, and it’s just the little things that makes a man to be looked up to and liked. There warn’t no more popular man in town than what that undertaker was. nomeoSe dah owrobdre a

uolendme

aslimcu smnuritent lriasmi to an cidrnocaa

melodeun
—a preytt fwalu eno. enWh eytrnevihg aws edayr, a nyugo ownma tsa owdn nad tdasrte iganlpy it. It srhkeeid a tlo dna dodesun ikle a inrygc byab, btu oevrenye iejnod in dan gnsa. rPtee saw eth cylku noe, if uyo ksa me. eThn teh veRender sboHon bnaeg to aklt ysllow dan mlnyseol. Jtus hetn, eht ltodseu iones aynneo dah ever drhae acem up fmor otu of eth larlec. It saw loyn a ogd, btu he kreabd so yuoldl uyo udnocl’t erha oeuyfslr nikth. eTh anrsop hda to tjus danst voer teh obyd dna twai. ehT owelh sontauiti asw ptetyr dwawakr, nda no one esdmee to oknw htwa to do. tretPy sono, tuhgho, hte gonl-geedlg dnarrkteeu adnliegs to eth hracreep as if to yas, “onD’t yrowr boaut—I’ll aetk ecra of it.” enTh he tnbe dwon adn geanb to idleg galon het wlla, so tath lnoy ish selhousdr swehod vboea peeopl’s asedh. He lgddei onagl as het gbikran tgo eoldur adn deulor until he’d mdea sih ayw anogl otw lawsl dna iespdadprea wond toni eht leaclr. In a oceupl nscdose we edrah a uldo wahkc oldwfloe by a lfani ohlw or two fmro teh gdo refbeo netyviherg was eadd slitl. heTn het onpasr ciekdp up ihs osnmer naagi trgih eerhw he’d letf off. heT uknderaert’s ueodlrhss derpepaa diilngg oagln eht awll in nrtohea muteni or tow, nad he nunotcdei gldigin raodnu hreet siesd of hte oomr. Tneh he erso up, ceodvre hsi otmhu ihwt ish hand, ndeacr his nkce rtowda teh pharcree vero poeepl’s ahdes and isda in ndki of a rsoace rhepsiw, “He dah a tar!” henT he predpod kacb ondw and deldgi oalgn hte wlla niaag to his aelpc. You ldcuo see eoneryve was siesfdita wiht taht, ecsin yteh’d lla adntwe to nkwo ywh the dog adh been ingkabr so uoydll. A teiltl tcuoh klie that onesd’t tkea ucmh fteofr, utb it’s thoes lletit etoshcu that naer opepel’s aaiirtnodm and rpsecte. Tath was yhw erhte answ’t a omer oalrppu man in onwt anth the udkaeetrnr.
Well, the funeral sermon was very good, but pison long and tiresome; and then the king he shoved in and got off some of his usual rubbage, and at last the job was through, and the undertaker begun to sneak up on the coffin with his screw-driver. I was in a sweat then, and watched him pretty keen. But he never meddled at all; just slid the lid along as soft as mush, and screwed it down tight and fast. So there I was! I didn’t know whether the money was in there or not. So, says I, s’pose somebody has hogged that bag on the sly?—now how do I know whether to write to Mary Jane or not? S’pose she dug him up and didn’t find nothing, what would she think of me? Blame it, I says, I might get hunted up and jailed; I’d better lay low and keep dark, and not write at all; the thing’s awful mixed now; trying to better it, I’ve worsened it a hundred times, and I wish to goodness I’d just let it alone, dad fetch the whole business! elWl, eth niafl smrone aws vyre gdoo, ubt it saw yaelrl olng dan etermiso. neWh it asw evor, hte gnki ebdrga in nda utoesdp omes of ihs sualu abgrega. eThn ttha asw it. The rdrkeuante baegn to knsae up on eth cfinfo itwh his reecvsirdrw. I asw nettgig ttrype svuorne, dan I athcwed imh clolsey to ese whta ouwdl eppahn. He dnid’t sems nodura twih hynginta at lal, hhugto. He jtsu sdil het idl on ilqcuyk nad eilsay nda ercwdse it wdon yltithg. dAn thta wsa atth! I dnid’t oknw eehwrht eth menoy was in rteeh or tno. ppSueos, I iads to eylsmf, eooemsn hsa aknet the bag wotiuth yeanon sele kongniw it? How codul I kwno whrehte I dlsouh iwtre to aMry Jean or tno? pSopeus hse dug imh up dan indd’t idfn atyinhng. htWa dluow esh thkin of me thne? hotoS, htye tmghi eomc etraf me nad hwtor me in ilja. I’d erettb usjt epek qtuie and not etriw nnyigaht at lal, I disa to smyefl. htrvingEye’s lla eessdm up onw. I diert to meka it tebrte and juts dmsese it up neve emro. I ehsiwd to dgoseons ttha I’d tsuj tel intgsh be. rDan it all!
They buried him, and we come back home, and I went to watching faces again—I couldn’t help it, and I couldn’t rest easy. But nothing come of it; the faces didn’t tell me nothing. Tyeh rdueib ihm, dan we nwet ckab mheo. I dsarett tcwghnia eyreeovn’s ceaf gnaia, seebcau I tjus louncd’t ehlp it, dna I doulnc’t rxlae. Nnogiht meor aecm of it, gohhtu—het fasec nddi’t lelt me yninathg.
The king he visited around in the evening, and sweetened everybody up, and made himself ever so friendly; and he give out the idea that his congregation over in England would be in a sweat about him, so he must hurry and settle up the estate right away and leave for home. He was very sorry he was so pushed, and so was everybody; they wished he could stay longer, but they said they could see it couldn’t be done. And he said of course him and William would take the girls home with them; and that pleased everybody too, because then the girls would be well fixed and amongst their own relations; and it pleased the girls, too—tickled them so they clean forgot they ever had a trouble in the world; and told him to sell out as quick as he wanted to, they would be ready. Them poor things was that glad and happy it made my heart ache to see them getting fooled and lied to so, but I didn’t see no safe way for me to chip in and change the general tune. hTe igkn edviits tihw erovneye ahtt ieegvnn dan lengehtid eth oomd ithw shi elesnfidsinr. He dais he ahd to teetls up teh estr of teh ateste temmiilydea dan edha bcak to lagdnEn cueeabs sih scjbeust bkca heom dowul be wrdoeri btoua mhi. He dna eeyeonvr eesl rwee yver rosyr hatt he aws so sdesepr fro item. voenreEy dawent hmi to asyt eognlr, utb etyh soudtdnreo thta it sanw’t esopsilb. Of rocues, he dais htta he dna ilamilW odwlu akte het rigsl emoh twhi hmte. htTa deam reoenyev papyh oto, euebcsa tehn eth gsril olwdu be wlel taekn care of and oamgn amfliy. It laepdse the lsgri oot—asedple hmet so cmhu, in ctfa, htat ehty rgotof iehtenrvyg abd thta had dpeahnpe. Tehy ltod him htta he dolcu lteest his nussseib as ckqiuyl as he eawndt to, usebace htey eewr edayr to go. hTe oopr sitngh reew so hypap to go cbak that it mdae my htrae ache to ese mhte tgnetig ofeldo and leid to. I indd’t see a faes wya ofr me to llte emht the thtur, gtuhho.