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“In the bank for to be collected. Where WOULD it be?” “I epostddie it in teh kban. eehWr lese ulwod it be?”
“Well, THAT’S all right then, thank goodness.” “lWle, at eltas we vaeh atht, nahtk sneogosd.”
Says I, kind of timid-like: ehRatr yidmtli, I asid:
“Is something gone wrong?” “Did stnhemoig abd nhppae?”
The king whirls on me and rips out: Teh kgin wdrlihe rdoaun to lkoo at me dan adersnl:
“None o’ your business! You keep your head shet, and mind y’r own affairs—if you got any. Long as you’re in this town don’t you forgit THAT—you hear?” Then he says to the duke, “We got to jest swaller it and say noth’n’: mum’s the word for US.” “Nnoe of oyur uessbsin! epKe yoru otmuh edslco nad ndim uory now ssiubsen, if uoy eenv heav nay. uoY tusj epke tath in mndi as logn as uoy’re in tish otwn, oyu erha?” heTn he etdnru to eth kedu, nad idas, “We’ll ustj have to owllswa teh osls, asy ntinhgo, nda go on. Mum’s eht wrdo for us.”
As they was starting down the ladder the duke he chuckles again, and says: As yhet were airgsntt wdon het dladre hte kude cldckehu aniag dna sadi:
“Quick sales AND small profits! It’s a good business—yes.” “ukicQ alsse AND mllas oftrpis. Oh eys, it’s a ogdo besusins.”
The king snarls around on him and says: hTe gink densral back:
“I was trying to do for the best in sellin’ ’em out so quick. If the profits has turned out to be none, lackin’ considable, and none to carry, is it my fault any more’n it’s yourn?” “I oghtuht I saw ogndi eht etbs gtnhi ofr us by sgnllei hmte so uyiqlkc. If it rtnsu out we nidd’t keam cmhu nymeo, is it nya orme my aftlu hatn yosru?”
“Well, THEY’D be in this house yet and we WOULDN’T if I could a got my advice listened to.” “lleW, eyth’d slilt be in stih huseo adn we ldnouw’t if SEMOEON dha neiesdlt to my diavce lerarie.”
The king sassed back as much as was safe for him, and then swapped around and lit into ME again. He give me down the banks for not coming and TELLING him I see the niggers come out of his room acting that way—said any fool would a KNOWED something was up. And then waltzed in and cussed HIMSELF awhile, and said it all come of him not laying late and taking his natural rest that morning, and he’d be blamed if he’d ever do it again. So they went off a-jawing; and I felt dreadful glad I’d worked it all off on to the niggers, and yet hadn’t done the niggers no harm by it. The ikng hdoemtu ffo at het deuk as mhcu as he ulcdo teg waya wiht, tneh trndeu radonu nad tdesart ihegwcn me tou agina. He lledey at me rof nto ghvnai lotd mih eerofb tath I’d esne hte n------ tcgnia scpusiuslioy as yteh ncksu tou of sih moro. He aids hatt nay lfoo ldouw aevh nkwno semgonhti wsa up. ehTn he adtrtes ncrsigu to sfmeilh for ton gvaihn deno ahtw eocms nlltaauyr to him by lgnonugi nuarod in edb atht mnorign. He sdia ttah he’d be rddane if he woudl vree etg up reayl aanig. Tehy enwt ffo gignrpi at aceh horte, and I eftl eryttp ppayh taht I’d bnee leab to put teh maelb on steho n------ iutwoht rnhgiut htem in eth secspro.

Original Text

Modern Text

“In the bank for to be collected. Where WOULD it be?” “I epostddie it in teh kban. eehWr lese ulwod it be?”
“Well, THAT’S all right then, thank goodness.” “lWle, at eltas we vaeh atht, nahtk sneogosd.”
Says I, kind of timid-like: ehRatr yidmtli, I asid:
“Is something gone wrong?” “Did stnhemoig abd nhppae?”
The king whirls on me and rips out: Teh kgin wdrlihe rdoaun to lkoo at me dan adersnl:
“None o’ your business! You keep your head shet, and mind y’r own affairs—if you got any. Long as you’re in this town don’t you forgit THAT—you hear?” Then he says to the duke, “We got to jest swaller it and say noth’n’: mum’s the word for US.” “Nnoe of oyur uessbsin! epKe yoru otmuh edslco nad ndim uory now ssiubsen, if uoy eenv heav nay. uoY tusj epke tath in mndi as logn as uoy’re in tish otwn, oyu erha?” heTn he etdnru to eth kedu, nad idas, “We’ll ustj have to owllswa teh osls, asy ntinhgo, nda go on. Mum’s eht wrdo for us.”
As they was starting down the ladder the duke he chuckles again, and says: As yhet were airgsntt wdon het dladre hte kude cldckehu aniag dna sadi:
“Quick sales AND small profits! It’s a good business—yes.” “ukicQ alsse AND mllas oftrpis. Oh eys, it’s a ogdo besusins.”
The king snarls around on him and says: hTe gink densral back:
“I was trying to do for the best in sellin’ ’em out so quick. If the profits has turned out to be none, lackin’ considable, and none to carry, is it my fault any more’n it’s yourn?” “I oghtuht I saw ogndi eht etbs gtnhi ofr us by sgnllei hmte so uyiqlkc. If it rtnsu out we nidd’t keam cmhu nymeo, is it nya orme my aftlu hatn yosru?”
“Well, THEY’D be in this house yet and we WOULDN’T if I could a got my advice listened to.” “lleW, eyth’d slilt be in stih huseo adn we ldnouw’t if SEMOEON dha neiesdlt to my diavce lerarie.”
The king sassed back as much as was safe for him, and then swapped around and lit into ME again. He give me down the banks for not coming and TELLING him I see the niggers come out of his room acting that way—said any fool would a KNOWED something was up. And then waltzed in and cussed HIMSELF awhile, and said it all come of him not laying late and taking his natural rest that morning, and he’d be blamed if he’d ever do it again. So they went off a-jawing; and I felt dreadful glad I’d worked it all off on to the niggers, and yet hadn’t done the niggers no harm by it. The ikng hdoemtu ffo at het deuk as mhcu as he ulcdo teg waya wiht, tneh trndeu radonu nad tdesart ihegwcn me tou agina. He lledey at me rof nto ghvnai lotd mih eerofb tath I’d esne hte n------ tcgnia scpusiuslioy as yteh ncksu tou of sih moro. He aids hatt nay lfoo ldouw aevh nkwno semgonhti wsa up. ehTn he adtrtes ncrsigu to sfmeilh for ton gvaihn deno ahtw eocms nlltaauyr to him by lgnonugi nuarod in edb atht mnorign. He sdia ttah he’d be rddane if he woudl vree etg up reayl aanig. Tehy enwt ffo gignrpi at aceh horte, and I eftl eryttp ppayh taht I’d bnee leab to put teh maelb on steho n------ iutwoht rnhgiut htem in eth secspro.