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THEY was fetching a very nice-looking old gentleman along, and a
nice-looking younger one, with his right arm in a sling. And, my souls, how
the people yelled and laughed, and kept it up. But I didn’t see no joke
about it, and I judged it would strain the duke and the king some to see
any. I reckoned they’d turn pale. But no, nary a pale did THEY turn. The
duke he never let on he suspicioned what was up, but just went a goo-gooing
around, happy and satisfied, like a jug that’s googling out buttermilk; and
as for the king, he just gazed and gazed down sorrowful on them new-comers
like it give him the stomach-ache in his very heart to think there could be
such frauds and rascals in the world. Oh, he done it admirable. Lots of the
principal people gethered around the king, to let him see they was on his
side. That old gentleman that had just come looked all puzzled to death.
Pretty soon he begun to speak, and I see straight off he pronounced LIKE an
Englishman—not the king’s way, though the king’s WAS pretty good for an
imitation. I can’t give the old gent’s words, nor I can’t imitate him; but
he turned around to the crowd, and says, about like this:
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In walked a very nice looking old gentleman, as well as a nice looking
younger one, who had his right arm in a sling. And, my goodness, the people
yelled and laughed for a while. I didn’t see what was so funny about it all,
and I figured the king and duke probably didn’t either. I figured they would
turn pale, but no, they DIDN’T turn pale. The duke never let on that he
suspected something was up. Instead, he just went on googling out
buttermilk. As for the king, he just kept on looking sorrowfully down at the
newcomers, like it caused his heart pain to think there could be frauds and
rascals like that in the world. Oh, he did an admirable job. Lots of the
most important people in town gathered around the king to show him that they
were on his side. The old gentleman that had just arrived looked like he was
going to die of confusion. Eventually he began to speak, and I saw right
away that he SOUNDED like an Englishman. He didn’t sound like the king, even
though the king was good at imitating an English accent. I don’t remember
the exact words the old gentleman said, nor can I imitate him, but he turned
around to the crowd and said something like:
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“This is a surprise to me which I wasn’t looking for; and I’ll
acknowledge, candid and frank, I ain’t very well fixed to meet it and answer
it; for my brother and me has had misfortunes; he’s broke his arm, and our
baggage got put off at a town above here last night in the night by a
mistake. I am Peter Wilks’ brother Harvey, and this is his brother William,
which can’t hear nor speak—and can’t even make signs to amount to much,
now’t he’s only got one hand to work them with. We are who we say we are;
and in a day or two, when I get the baggage, I can prove it. But up till
then I won’t say nothing more, but go to the hotel and wait.”
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“Well, this is an unexpected surprise, and I can say honestly and frankly
that I’m not really prepared to face it. My brother and I have had some
misfortunes—he’s broken his arm, and our baggage got unloaded at a town
upriver from here last night by mistake. I am Peter Wilks’s brother Harvey,
and this is his brother William. William can’t hear or speak and can’t even
make signs that mean much of anything, now that he has only one arm to make
them with. We are who we say we are, and in a day or two when I get the
baggage back, I can prove it. Until then, I won’t say anything more. I’ll go
the hotel and wait.”
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So him and the new dummy started off; and the king he laughs, and blethers
out:
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So he and the new mute started off for the hotel. The king laughed and
managed to say:
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“Broke his arm—VERY likely, AIN’T it?—and very convenient, too, for a
fraud that’s got to make signs, and ain’t learnt how. Lost their baggage!
That’s MIGHTY good!—and mighty ingenious—under the CIRCUMSTANCES!”
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“Broke his arm? VERY likely, ISN’T it? And very convenient, too, for a
fraud who has to make signs and hasn’t learned how. Lost their baggage!
That’s a MIGHTY good story! And mighty ingenious too under the
CIRCUMSTANCES!”
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So he laughed again; and so did everybody else, except three or four, or
maybe half a dozen. One of these was that doctor; another one was a
sharp-looking gentleman, with a carpet-bag of the old-fashioned kind made
out of carpet-stuff, that had just come off of the steamboat and was talking
to him in a low voice, and glancing towards the king now and then and
nodding their heads—it was Levi Bell, the lawyer that was gone up to
Louisville; and another one was a big rough husky that come along and
listened to all the old gentleman said, and was listening to the king now.
And when the king got done this husky up and says:
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He laughed again, and so did everyone else, except for three or four
people—well, maybe half a dozen. One of these people was the doctor. Another
was an intelligent looking gentleman with an old fashioned carpetbag made
out of actual carpet material. He’d just come off the steamboat too and was
talking to the doctor in a low voice. They were glancing toward the king now
and then, nodding their heads. His name was Levi Bell, the lawyer that had
been up in Louisville. Another man who didn’t laugh was a big, rough
looking, husky fellow that had come over and listend to everything the old
gentleman had said. Now he was listening to the king, and when the king
finished, he said:
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“Say, looky here; if you are Harvey Wilks, when’d you come to this
town?”
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“Hey, look here. If you are Harvey Wilks, then when did you come to this
town?”
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“The day before the funeral, friend,” says the king.
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“The day before the funeral, friend,” said the king.
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“But what time o’ day?”
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“But what time of day?”
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“In the evenin’—’bout an hour er two before sundown.”
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“In the evening—about an hour or two before sundown.”
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“HOW’D you come?”
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“HOW did you come?”
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“I come down on the Susan Powell from Cincinnati.”
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“I came down on the Steamboat Susan Powell from Cincinnati.”
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“Well, then, how’d you come to be up at the Pint in the MORNIN’—in a
canoe?”
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“Well, then how did you come to be up at the point in the MORNING? In a
canoe?”
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“I warn’t up at the Pint in the mornin’.”
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“I wasn’t up at the point in the morning.”
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“It’s a lie.”
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“You’re lying.”
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Several of them jumped for him and begged him not to talk that way to an
old man and a preacher.
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Several people in the crowd interrupted and begged him not to talk that
way to an old man and a preacher.
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“Preacher be hanged, he’s a fraud and a liar. He was up at the Pint that
mornin’. I live up there, don’t I? Well, I was up there, and he was up
there. I see him there. He come in a canoe, along with Tim Collins and a
boy.”
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“Preacher, my butt—he’s a fraud and a liar. He was up at the point in the
morning. I live up there, don’t I? Well, I was up there, and so was he. I
saw him up there. He came in a canoe along with Tim Collins and a
boy.”
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The doctor he up and says:
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The doctor then said:
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“Would you know the boy again if you was to see him, Hines?”
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“Would you be able to recognize the boy if you saw him again,
Hines?”
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“I reckon I would, but I don’t know. Why, yonder he is, now. I know him
perfectly easy.”
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“I suppose I probably would, but I’m not sure. Why—there is over there
right now. I recognize him easily.”
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It was me he pointed at. The doctor says:
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He was pointing at me. The doctor said:
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