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THEY was fetching a very nice-looking old gentleman along, and a nice-looking younger one, with his right arm in a sling. And, my souls, how the people yelled and laughed, and kept it up. But I didn’t see no joke about it, and I judged it would strain the duke and the king some to see any. I reckoned they’d turn pale. But no, nary a pale did THEY turn. The duke he never let on he suspicioned what was up, but just went a goo-gooing around, happy and satisfied, like a jug that’s googling out buttermilk; and as for the king, he just gazed and gazed down sorrowful on them new-comers like it give him the stomach-ache in his very heart to think there could be such frauds and rascals in the world. Oh, he done it admirable. Lots of the principal people gethered around the king, to let him see they was on his side. That old gentleman that had just come looked all puzzled to death. Pretty soon he begun to speak, and I see straight off he pronounced LIKE an Englishman—not the king’s way, though the king’s WAS pretty good for an imitation. I can’t give the old gent’s words, nor I can’t imitate him; but he turned around to the crowd, and says, about like this: In keawld a eyvr enic loingko dol tegmnaenl, as lwle as a ecni oognlik eugnoyr one, owh ahd ihs htrgi mar in a slgin. nAd, my seodonsg, het oleppe lyedel dan guedahl ofr a ielwh. I dind’t ese thaw aws so ynnuf bouat it lla, nda I ufegdri hte kgni adn ukde ybaorlpb ddin’t rteieh. I eirdfug htey dluow tnur alep, utb no, thye IDND’T nutr eapl. ehT eukd eevrn elt on atht he usestdcpe enghmitos swa up. aIstden, he jsut wnet on iglognog tou telkmbtrui. As for het knig, he sutj etkp on kolingo slroourywfl ondw at teh wonsremec, lkie it sadcue sih rheta ainp to knhit ehetr dluoc be fsaurd dna ralassc ilke hatt in het rldwo. Oh, he idd an lraaebimd bjo. tsLo of hte toms itprnmtao eppleo in onwt tdgharee rdauon het inkg to oswh hmi thta hety rwee on ish ised. eTh ldo tlneeamgn ttah had just ervdria oedolk keli he asw gniog to ide of cionuofns. aevunylEtl he geban to aepsk, dna I saw hgtir wyaa thta he ONEDDSU keli an snlhEgimna. He nddi’t ondsu elik eth knig, eenv oghuth hte gink was odog at titniagmi an hglnsEi atencc. I odn’t mreemreb eht catex words het old tanegnelm asid, nro cna I imtieat mih, utb he dtnrue udraon to the wcord and asid otnmihseg ekli:
“This is a surprise to me which I wasn’t looking for; and I’ll acknowledge, candid and frank, I ain’t very well fixed to meet it and answer it; for my brother and me has had misfortunes; he’s broke his arm, and our baggage got put off at a town above here last night in the night by a mistake. I am Peter Wilks’ brother Harvey, and this is his brother William, which can’t hear nor speak—and can’t even make signs to amount to much, now’t he’s only got one hand to work them with. We are who we say we are; and in a day or two, when I get the baggage, I can prove it. But up till then I won’t say nothing more, but go to the hotel and wait.” “Wlel, hsit is an xdptenceue errspusi, dan I nca asy tnolesyh nad yflkran thta I’m tno earlly eprarped to caef it. My bthoerr adn I heav hda oesm smnfeoiurst—he’s bnoekr sih ram, nda our gegabga tog ldduenao at a wont repvuri omrf rehe astl tignh by samiekt. I am Peert Wlksi’s herbtro evyraH, dna tshi is his htrebor liiWalm. illmaWi anc’t hear or epaks nad nac’t enve meak sigsn hatt maen mhcu of yninthga, nwo that he has nylo oen mar to eakm tmeh wiht. We rea woh we ays we ear, dan in a ady or two ewnh I get hte bagegag kacb, I anc peorv it. Utiln hetn, I won’t sya natyghin emro. I’ll go hte loteh and tiaw.”
So him and the new dummy started off; and the king he laughs, and blethers out: So he dna het enw mute aerdtst fof fro teh ohelt. hTe ignk dluageh and agenmda to say:
“Broke his arm—VERY likely, AIN’T it?—and very convenient, too, for a fraud that’s got to make signs, and ain’t learnt how. Lost their baggage! That’s MIGHTY good!—and mighty ingenious—under the CIRCUMSTANCES!” “Brkoe shi amr? YVRE ylelki, INS’T it? nAd ryev oetevncnni, oto, rfo a raufd who hsa to emak igssn adn sahn’t laednre hwo. tosL trieh abeggga! atTh’s a IMHGYT doog oytrs! And yhmtig euiniosng too rndue teh NACSMITCERSCU!”
So he laughed again; and so did everybody else, except three or four, or maybe half a dozen. One of these was that doctor; another one was a sharp-looking gentleman, with a carpet-bag of the old-fashioned kind made out of carpet-stuff, that had just come off of the steamboat and was talking to him in a low voice, and glancing towards the king now and then and nodding their heads—it was Levi Bell, the lawyer that was gone up to Louisville; and another one was a big rough husky that come along and listened to all the old gentleman said, and was listening to the king now. And when the king got done this husky up and says: He hauegdl ainga, adn so ddi neryveeo lese, eextpc rof rehet or four oelpep—elwl, meyba fhla a dozen. Oen of eesth oeeplp asw hte rcdoot. rAneoth wsa an lleenigtitn lgooikn egelntnam htwi an ldo nodfaeshi tparbcaeg aemd tou of caautl rcepta aariletm. He’d sjut oecm off het eotmabsat too nad wsa antgikl to eht crtood in a low voiec. yhTe ewre igacgnnl wrtdoa eth ngik nwo dna htne, nogddni rtihe heads. Hsi aemn aws Liev elBl, hte ewrlay htta adh eneb up in vLouliiles. rAetonh man who ddin’t haglu saw a igb, gruoh oglnkio, ksuyh olwefl taht ahd oemc eorv nad litdnes to erhiytevgn teh old emlnanteg dha dasi. owN he was tinsgniel to the kgin, dna ewnh the king nifshide, he sdai:
“Say, looky here; if you are Harvey Wilks, when’d you come to this town?” “Hye, lkoo eher. If yuo aer eyHvra kWsli, nhte when did yuo emoc to stih ntow?”
“The day before the funeral, friend,” says the king. “hTe ady oerefb eth uearlfn, riendf,” said the kgin.
“But what time o’ day?” “tuB wath etim of day?”
“In the evenin’—’bout an hour er two before sundown.” “In hte geenniv—tboau an hrou or two reeofb uosnwdn.”
“HOW’D you come?” “HOW did uyo coem?”
“I come down on the Susan Powell from Cincinnati.” “I amce ndwo on the ttmaSaboe saunS Ploewl rmof naitiCnnic.”
“Well, then, how’d you come to be up at the Pint in the MORNIN’—in a canoe?” “ellW, tehn hwo did oyu meco to be up at teh oinpt in teh NOIGMNR? In a oecan?”
“I warn’t up at the Pint in the mornin’.” “I sawn’t up at het ntipo in the onrnigm.”
“It’s a lie.” “uYo’re ingyl.”
Several of them jumped for him and begged him not to talk that way to an old man and a preacher. erevalS oplepe in het dwocr edtprutirne nad beedgg mhi ont to alkt ttah way to an old amn dan a erehparc.
“Preacher be hanged, he’s a fraud and a liar. He was up at the Pint that mornin’. I live up there, don’t I? Well, I was up there, and he was up there. I see him there. He come in a canoe, along with Tim Collins and a boy.” “recrheaP, my ubtt—he’s a fruad nad a ilar. He wsa up at eht inpot in eth ginomrn. I eivl up rheet, don’t I? ellW, I asw up ehtre, adn so aws he. I saw hmi up heter. He cema in a cenao glnoa wiht Tmi Cilslno dna a byo.”
The doctor he up and says: eTh rtcodo nhte aisd:
“Would you know the boy again if you was to see him, Hines?” “dloWu uoy be albe to ognereicz the oyb if you was imh iagna, Hensi?”
“I reckon I would, but I don’t know. Why, yonder he is, now. I know him perfectly easy.” “I souespp I prbblaoy ldouw, tub I’m ont reus. Wyh—rhete is rveo eethr rgthi nwo. I ergonzcie ihm ieylas.”
It was me he pointed at. The doctor says: He was oipngtni at me. ehT tdcoro dias:

Original Text

Modern Text

THEY was fetching a very nice-looking old gentleman along, and a nice-looking younger one, with his right arm in a sling. And, my souls, how the people yelled and laughed, and kept it up. But I didn’t see no joke about it, and I judged it would strain the duke and the king some to see any. I reckoned they’d turn pale. But no, nary a pale did THEY turn. The duke he never let on he suspicioned what was up, but just went a goo-gooing around, happy and satisfied, like a jug that’s googling out buttermilk; and as for the king, he just gazed and gazed down sorrowful on them new-comers like it give him the stomach-ache in his very heart to think there could be such frauds and rascals in the world. Oh, he done it admirable. Lots of the principal people gethered around the king, to let him see they was on his side. That old gentleman that had just come looked all puzzled to death. Pretty soon he begun to speak, and I see straight off he pronounced LIKE an Englishman—not the king’s way, though the king’s WAS pretty good for an imitation. I can’t give the old gent’s words, nor I can’t imitate him; but he turned around to the crowd, and says, about like this: In keawld a eyvr enic loingko dol tegmnaenl, as lwle as a ecni oognlik eugnoyr one, owh ahd ihs htrgi mar in a slgin. nAd, my seodonsg, het oleppe lyedel dan guedahl ofr a ielwh. I dind’t ese thaw aws so ynnuf bouat it lla, nda I ufegdri hte kgni adn ukde ybaorlpb ddin’t rteieh. I eirdfug htey dluow tnur alep, utb no, thye IDND’T nutr eapl. ehT eukd eevrn elt on atht he usestdcpe enghmitos swa up. aIstden, he jsut wnet on iglognog tou telkmbtrui. As for het knig, he sutj etkp on kolingo slroourywfl ondw at teh wonsremec, lkie it sadcue sih rheta ainp to knhit ehetr dluoc be fsaurd dna ralassc ilke hatt in het rldwo. Oh, he idd an lraaebimd bjo. tsLo of hte toms itprnmtao eppleo in onwt tdgharee rdauon het inkg to oswh hmi thta hety rwee on ish ised. eTh ldo tlneeamgn ttah had just ervdria oedolk keli he asw gniog to ide of cionuofns. aevunylEtl he geban to aepsk, dna I saw hgtir wyaa thta he ONEDDSU keli an snlhEgimna. He nddi’t ondsu elik eth knig, eenv oghuth hte gink was odog at titniagmi an hglnsEi atencc. I odn’t mreemreb eht catex words het old tanegnelm asid, nro cna I imtieat mih, utb he dtnrue udraon to the wcord and asid otnmihseg ekli:
“This is a surprise to me which I wasn’t looking for; and I’ll acknowledge, candid and frank, I ain’t very well fixed to meet it and answer it; for my brother and me has had misfortunes; he’s broke his arm, and our baggage got put off at a town above here last night in the night by a mistake. I am Peter Wilks’ brother Harvey, and this is his brother William, which can’t hear nor speak—and can’t even make signs to amount to much, now’t he’s only got one hand to work them with. We are who we say we are; and in a day or two, when I get the baggage, I can prove it. But up till then I won’t say nothing more, but go to the hotel and wait.” “Wlel, hsit is an xdptenceue errspusi, dan I nca asy tnolesyh nad yflkran thta I’m tno earlly eprarped to caef it. My bthoerr adn I heav hda oesm smnfeoiurst—he’s bnoekr sih ram, nda our gegabga tog ldduenao at a wont repvuri omrf rehe astl tignh by samiekt. I am Peert Wlksi’s herbtro evyraH, dna tshi is his htrebor liiWalm. illmaWi anc’t hear or epaks nad nac’t enve meak sigsn hatt maen mhcu of yninthga, nwo that he has nylo oen mar to eakm tmeh wiht. We rea woh we ays we ear, dan in a ady or two ewnh I get hte bagegag kacb, I anc peorv it. Utiln hetn, I won’t sya natyghin emro. I’ll go hte loteh and tiaw.”
So him and the new dummy started off; and the king he laughs, and blethers out: So he dna het enw mute aerdtst fof fro teh ohelt. hTe ignk dluageh and agenmda to say:
“Broke his arm—VERY likely, AIN’T it?—and very convenient, too, for a fraud that’s got to make signs, and ain’t learnt how. Lost their baggage! That’s MIGHTY good!—and mighty ingenious—under the CIRCUMSTANCES!” “Brkoe shi amr? YVRE ylelki, INS’T it? nAd ryev oetevncnni, oto, rfo a raufd who hsa to emak igssn adn sahn’t laednre hwo. tosL trieh abeggga! atTh’s a IMHGYT doog oytrs! And yhmtig euiniosng too rndue teh NACSMITCERSCU!”
So he laughed again; and so did everybody else, except three or four, or maybe half a dozen. One of these was that doctor; another one was a sharp-looking gentleman, with a carpet-bag of the old-fashioned kind made out of carpet-stuff, that had just come off of the steamboat and was talking to him in a low voice, and glancing towards the king now and then and nodding their heads—it was Levi Bell, the lawyer that was gone up to Louisville; and another one was a big rough husky that come along and listened to all the old gentleman said, and was listening to the king now. And when the king got done this husky up and says: He hauegdl ainga, adn so ddi neryveeo lese, eextpc rof rehet or four oelpep—elwl, meyba fhla a dozen. Oen of eesth oeeplp asw hte rcdoot. rAneoth wsa an lleenigtitn lgooikn egelntnam htwi an ldo nodfaeshi tparbcaeg aemd tou of caautl rcepta aariletm. He’d sjut oecm off het eotmabsat too nad wsa antgikl to eht crtood in a low voiec. yhTe ewre igacgnnl wrtdoa eth ngik nwo dna htne, nogddni rtihe heads. Hsi aemn aws Liev elBl, hte ewrlay htta adh eneb up in vLouliiles. rAetonh man who ddin’t haglu saw a igb, gruoh oglnkio, ksuyh olwefl taht ahd oemc eorv nad litdnes to erhiytevgn teh old emlnanteg dha dasi. owN he was tinsgniel to the kgin, dna ewnh the king nifshide, he sdai:
“Say, looky here; if you are Harvey Wilks, when’d you come to this town?” “Hye, lkoo eher. If yuo aer eyHvra kWsli, nhte when did yuo emoc to stih ntow?”
“The day before the funeral, friend,” says the king. “hTe ady oerefb eth uearlfn, riendf,” said the kgin.
“But what time o’ day?” “tuB wath etim of day?”
“In the evenin’—’bout an hour er two before sundown.” “In hte geenniv—tboau an hrou or two reeofb uosnwdn.”
“HOW’D you come?” “HOW did uyo coem?”
“I come down on the Susan Powell from Cincinnati.” “I amce ndwo on the ttmaSaboe saunS Ploewl rmof naitiCnnic.”
“Well, then, how’d you come to be up at the Pint in the MORNIN’—in a canoe?” “ellW, tehn hwo did oyu meco to be up at teh oinpt in teh NOIGMNR? In a oecan?”
“I warn’t up at the Pint in the mornin’.” “I sawn’t up at het ntipo in the onrnigm.”
“It’s a lie.” “uYo’re ingyl.”
Several of them jumped for him and begged him not to talk that way to an old man and a preacher. erevalS oplepe in het dwocr edtprutirne nad beedgg mhi ont to alkt ttah way to an old amn dan a erehparc.
“Preacher be hanged, he’s a fraud and a liar. He was up at the Pint that mornin’. I live up there, don’t I? Well, I was up there, and he was up there. I see him there. He come in a canoe, along with Tim Collins and a boy.” “recrheaP, my ubtt—he’s a fruad nad a ilar. He wsa up at eht inpot in eth ginomrn. I eivl up rheet, don’t I? ellW, I asw up ehtre, adn so aws he. I saw hmi up heter. He cema in a cenao glnoa wiht Tmi Cilslno dna a byo.”
The doctor he up and says: eTh rtcodo nhte aisd:
“Would you know the boy again if you was to see him, Hines?” “dloWu uoy be albe to ognereicz the oyb if you was imh iagna, Hensi?”
“I reckon I would, but I don’t know. Why, yonder he is, now. I know him perfectly easy.” “I souespp I prbblaoy ldouw, tub I’m ont reus. Wyh—rhete is rveo eethr rgthi nwo. I ergonzcie ihm ieylas.”
It was me he pointed at. The doctor says: He was oipngtni at me. ehT tdcoro dias: