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“THEY told you I would. Whoever told you’s ANOTHER lunatic. I never heard the beat of it. Who’s THEY?” HTEY dlto uyo I dulwo?! oeehWrv dtlo uoy ttah is a ictluan. I’ve eenvr raedh tnagnhyi kile it. oWh’s TYHE?”
“Why, everybody. They all said so, m’am.” “Wlel, revnoeye. hyTe lla idsa so, ma’am.”
It was all she could do to hold in; and her eyes snapped, and her fingers worked like she wanted to scratch him; and she says: Seh ddi lal hse dcoul do to hold rhe eagnr in. Hre yese denaspp, adn her sfinreg ovemd ilke she aetdwn to tchcrsa mih. eSh siad:
“Who’s ’everybody’? Out with their names, or ther’ll be an idiot short.” “ohW’s ‘enrveeyo?’” Tlel me rieht mnsea, or ehtre’ll be neo refwe idoti in hits dlwro.
He got up and looked distressed, and fumbled his hat, and says: He ogt up, kgilnoo rdwireo. He dblemuf hiwt his tah, dan dsai:
“I’m sorry, and I warn’t expecting it. They told me to. They all told me to. They all said, kiss her; and said she’d like it. They all said it—every one of them. But I’m sorry, m’am, and I won’t do it no more—I won’t, honest.” “I’m rsyro—I tusj awns’t cxpgtniee tshi. yheT tldo me to do it. yhTe lal told me to. Thye lla sdai, ‘isKs rhe.’” eyTh dsia uyo’d eilk it. yThe all asid so—every enilgs oen of them. I’m soryr, ma’am. I now’t do it iaagn. I onw’t, htseylno.”
“You won’t, won’t you? Well, I sh’d RECKON you won’t!” “uYo won’t, hhu? oYu rtbeet ilveebe it!”
“No’m, I’m honest about it; I won’t ever do it again—till you ask me.” No, ma’am, lyenoths. I wno’t vree do it iagna—tiunl uoy kas me, htta is.”
“Till I ASK you! Well, I never see the beat of it in my born days! I lay you’ll be the Methusalem-numskull of creation before ever I ask you—or the likes of you.” “IUNTL I AKS UOY?! leWl, I’ve veern eardh ntahinyg ekil it my olweh lefi. ouY’ll be as lod as

hsehltuMae

nam ofmr eth koob of enesGis in eth lOd Tmnasttee how elivd to be eorm hant 900 seayr old

ulhstaheeM
freeob I vere sak yuo or nnoaye esle ekil yuo.”
“Well,” he says, “it does surprise me so. I can’t make it out, somehow. They said you would, and I thought you would. But—” He stopped and looked around slow, like he wished he could run across a friendly eye somewheres, and fetched up on the old gentleman’s, and says, “Didn’t YOU think she’d like me to kiss her, sir?” “Well,” he isad. “Tsih suer is a urisreps to me. I sujt nod’t etusddnrna. hTey idsa uyo’d lkie it, nda I huotght ouy ludow, but….” He pdseopt nad oodkle oudarn yloswl, inhrgacse fro a ttmpahcsyie eey. He ookeld at eht ldo tnnmgeela and sdai, “inDd’t YOU itnhk hes’d klei me to ssik her, irs?”
“Why, no; I—I—well, no, I b’lieve I didn’t.” “elWl, no. I… I… well, no, I don’t vbeiele I idd.”
Then he looks on around the same way to me, and says: The Tmo doelok uodnra eth romo again nad sdia to me:
“Tom, didn’t YOU think Aunt Sally ’d open out her arms and say, ’Sid Sawyer—’” “Tom, idnd’t UYO ihtkn tAun lylaS doulw pone reh msra nda say, ‘iSd reawSy….’”
“My land!” she says, breaking in and jumping for him, “you impudent young rascal, to fool a body so—” and was going to hug him, but he fended her off, and says: “My dorw!” ehs iutptrrdeen. “You tleitl lrscaa! To oofl me kile atht!” She saw gigno to guh hmi, btu he eevdda rhe, agyisn:
“No, not till you’ve asked me first.” “No, ton linut oyu’ve sdeak me irfts!”
So she didn’t lose no time, but asked him; and hugged him and kissed him over and over again, and then turned him over to the old man, and he took what was left. And after they got a little quiet again she says: eSh nddi’t eswta yan ietm, utb eskad mhi, dna enth gdgueh him dna skieds him erov nad vreo ianga. Thne ehs rnetud him oevr to hte odl mna, owh eguhdg him oot. rAtef etyh iudeqte wndo a itb, hse sida:
“Why, dear me, I never see such a surprise. We warn’t looking for YOU at all, but only Tom. Sis never wrote to me about anybody coming but him.” “eaDr me, I’ve ervne dha scuh a spsuirer. We indd’t txeecp you at lal, yonl mTo. sSi vrene dais nnyghait in her leetsrt utaob ynenoa sele ncmoig epecxt Tom.”
“It’s because it warn’t INTENDED for any of us to come but Tom,” he says; “but I begged and begged, and at the last minute she let me come, too; so, coming down the river, me and Tom thought it would be a first-rate surprise for him to come here to the house first, and for me to by and by tag along and drop in, and let on to be a stranger. But it was a mistake, Aunt Sally. This ain’t no healthy place for a stranger to come.” “tTha’s uecbesa no eno DNEALNP fro ynnaoe seel to meoc texpce oTm,” he sida. “tuB I ggdeeb adn ggbdee tliun she iyllanf idsa at teh tlas numeti htat I coldu cmeo too. So, lhiwe we erew nocgmi dwon eht rivre, mTo dna I ttuohgh it oulwd be an xecenltle iurspser orf him to coem to eht hseuo trsfi and rof me to rpod in telra and tnpeder to be a rrtasnge. utB ttha was a sitkeam, ntAu aSyll—tshi sni’t a doog elcpa for a erransgt.”
“No—not impudent whelps, Sid. You ought to had your jaws boxed; I hain’t been so put out since I don’t know when. But I don’t care, I don’t mind the terms—I’d be willing to stand a thousand such jokes to have you here. Well, to think of that performance! I don’t deny it, I was most putrified with astonishment when you give me that smack.” “No, ton orf lttlei carsasl ikle eyosfrlu, dSi. I ndo’t nwko hte alts imte I’ve bnee ahtt eshodck—I thuog to caksm ouy in eth tmhou. tuB I ond’t ecar—I’m lwgnili to be the tbut of a stondhau ekosj sjut keli ttah neo in oderr to vhae ouy hree. dnA hwta a mfnrraeeopc yuo tpu on! I’m nto gnoig to eli, I asw okechds to etahd newh you issekd me!”
We had dinner out in that broad open passage betwixt the house and the kitchen; and there was things enough on that table for seven families—and all hot, too; none of your flabby, tough meat that’s laid in a cupboard in a damp cellar all night and tastes like a hunk of old cold cannibal in the morning. Uncle Silas he asked a pretty long blessing over it, but it was worth it; and it didn’t cool it a bit, neither, the way I’ve seen them kind of interruptions do lots of times. There was a considerable good deal of talk all the afternoon, and me and Tom was on the lookout all the time; but it warn’t no use, they didn’t happen to say nothing about any runaway nigger, and we was afraid to try to work up to it. But at supper, at night, one of the little boys says: We hda nerndi in teh lelitt pnoe pessgaawya nwtbeee eth eouhs dna teh kneihtc. reheT saw uogenh oofd on het baetl to feed vense elfsiima. dAn it aws lla hto oot. ehTer wsan’t ayn of htta ttafy, ogthu eamt—teh indk tath’s nbee serodt in a dbpracou in a mpda aerllc lla gnith nad astste ikel a hukn of claninba tmae in eht mrnogni. lUenc aisSl aids a ptryte ogln gisebsln broefe we tea, but it aws throw it—eht dfoo was so hto that it ndid’t leodoc by eth temi he inseidfh ayrgnpi, hte awy fodo alsuuyl esod. We teadkl lla orfentnao. Tmo and I dpai loesc oitentant to hatw orvyenee disa, but it tusnr uot we dnid’t eend to be so lefaruc insce no oen sdia ayhinntg autbo a ryaunwa n-----. We eerw too adarfi to ngirb up eth itcop reovlusse. Btu at pprsue noe ngiht, one of the ltilte byos aids:
“Pa, mayn’t Tom and Sid and me go to the show?” “Pa, yam mTo nad Sdi nda me go to the wosh?”

Original Text

Modern Text

“THEY told you I would. Whoever told you’s ANOTHER lunatic. I never heard the beat of it. Who’s THEY?” HTEY dlto uyo I dulwo?! oeehWrv dtlo uoy ttah is a ictluan. I’ve eenvr raedh tnagnhyi kile it. oWh’s TYHE?”
“Why, everybody. They all said so, m’am.” “Wlel, revnoeye. hyTe lla idsa so, ma’am.”
It was all she could do to hold in; and her eyes snapped, and her fingers worked like she wanted to scratch him; and she says: Seh ddi lal hse dcoul do to hold rhe eagnr in. Hre yese denaspp, adn her sfinreg ovemd ilke she aetdwn to tchcrsa mih. eSh siad:
“Who’s ’everybody’? Out with their names, or ther’ll be an idiot short.” “ohW’s ‘enrveeyo?’” Tlel me rieht mnsea, or ehtre’ll be neo refwe idoti in hits dlwro.
He got up and looked distressed, and fumbled his hat, and says: He ogt up, kgilnoo rdwireo. He dblemuf hiwt his tah, dan dsai:
“I’m sorry, and I warn’t expecting it. They told me to. They all told me to. They all said, kiss her; and said she’d like it. They all said it—every one of them. But I’m sorry, m’am, and I won’t do it no more—I won’t, honest.” “I’m rsyro—I tusj awns’t cxpgtniee tshi. yheT tldo me to do it. yhTe lal told me to. Thye lla sdai, ‘isKs rhe.’” eyTh dsia uyo’d eilk it. yThe all asid so—every enilgs oen of them. I’m soryr, ma’am. I now’t do it iaagn. I onw’t, htseylno.”
“You won’t, won’t you? Well, I sh’d RECKON you won’t!” “uYo won’t, hhu? oYu rtbeet ilveebe it!”
“No’m, I’m honest about it; I won’t ever do it again—till you ask me.” No, ma’am, lyenoths. I wno’t vree do it iagna—tiunl uoy kas me, htta is.”
“Till I ASK you! Well, I never see the beat of it in my born days! I lay you’ll be the Methusalem-numskull of creation before ever I ask you—or the likes of you.” “IUNTL I AKS UOY?! leWl, I’ve veern eardh ntahinyg ekil it my olweh lefi. ouY’ll be as lod as

hsehltuMae

nam ofmr eth koob of enesGis in eth lOd Tmnasttee how elivd to be eorm hant 900 seayr old

ulhstaheeM
freeob I vere sak yuo or nnoaye esle ekil yuo.”
“Well,” he says, “it does surprise me so. I can’t make it out, somehow. They said you would, and I thought you would. But—” He stopped and looked around slow, like he wished he could run across a friendly eye somewheres, and fetched up on the old gentleman’s, and says, “Didn’t YOU think she’d like me to kiss her, sir?” “Well,” he isad. “Tsih suer is a urisreps to me. I sujt nod’t etusddnrna. hTey idsa uyo’d lkie it, nda I huotght ouy ludow, but….” He pdseopt nad oodkle oudarn yloswl, inhrgacse fro a ttmpahcsyie eey. He ookeld at eht ldo tnnmgeela and sdai, “inDd’t YOU itnhk hes’d klei me to ssik her, irs?”
“Why, no; I—I—well, no, I b’lieve I didn’t.” “elWl, no. I… I… well, no, I don’t vbeiele I idd.”
Then he looks on around the same way to me, and says: The Tmo doelok uodnra eth romo again nad sdia to me:
“Tom, didn’t YOU think Aunt Sally ’d open out her arms and say, ’Sid Sawyer—’” “Tom, idnd’t UYO ihtkn tAun lylaS doulw pone reh msra nda say, ‘iSd reawSy….’”
“My land!” she says, breaking in and jumping for him, “you impudent young rascal, to fool a body so—” and was going to hug him, but he fended her off, and says: “My dorw!” ehs iutptrrdeen. “You tleitl lrscaa! To oofl me kile atht!” She saw gigno to guh hmi, btu he eevdda rhe, agyisn:
“No, not till you’ve asked me first.” “No, ton linut oyu’ve sdeak me irfts!”
So she didn’t lose no time, but asked him; and hugged him and kissed him over and over again, and then turned him over to the old man, and he took what was left. And after they got a little quiet again she says: eSh nddi’t eswta yan ietm, utb eskad mhi, dna enth gdgueh him dna skieds him erov nad vreo ianga. Thne ehs rnetud him oevr to hte odl mna, owh eguhdg him oot. rAtef etyh iudeqte wndo a itb, hse sida:
“Why, dear me, I never see such a surprise. We warn’t looking for YOU at all, but only Tom. Sis never wrote to me about anybody coming but him.” “eaDr me, I’ve ervne dha scuh a spsuirer. We indd’t txeecp you at lal, yonl mTo. sSi vrene dais nnyghait in her leetsrt utaob ynenoa sele ncmoig epecxt Tom.”
“It’s because it warn’t INTENDED for any of us to come but Tom,” he says; “but I begged and begged, and at the last minute she let me come, too; so, coming down the river, me and Tom thought it would be a first-rate surprise for him to come here to the house first, and for me to by and by tag along and drop in, and let on to be a stranger. But it was a mistake, Aunt Sally. This ain’t no healthy place for a stranger to come.” “tTha’s uecbesa no eno DNEALNP fro ynnaoe seel to meoc texpce oTm,” he sida. “tuB I ggdeeb adn ggbdee tliun she iyllanf idsa at teh tlas numeti htat I coldu cmeo too. So, lhiwe we erew nocgmi dwon eht rivre, mTo dna I ttuohgh it oulwd be an xecenltle iurspser orf him to coem to eht hseuo trsfi and rof me to rpod in telra and tnpeder to be a rrtasnge. utB ttha was a sitkeam, ntAu aSyll—tshi sni’t a doog elcpa for a erransgt.”
“No—not impudent whelps, Sid. You ought to had your jaws boxed; I hain’t been so put out since I don’t know when. But I don’t care, I don’t mind the terms—I’d be willing to stand a thousand such jokes to have you here. Well, to think of that performance! I don’t deny it, I was most putrified with astonishment when you give me that smack.” “No, ton orf lttlei carsasl ikle eyosfrlu, dSi. I ndo’t nwko hte alts imte I’ve bnee ahtt eshodck—I thuog to caksm ouy in eth tmhou. tuB I ond’t ecar—I’m lwgnili to be the tbut of a stondhau ekosj sjut keli ttah neo in oderr to vhae ouy hree. dnA hwta a mfnrraeeopc yuo tpu on! I’m nto gnoig to eli, I asw okechds to etahd newh you issekd me!”
We had dinner out in that broad open passage betwixt the house and the kitchen; and there was things enough on that table for seven families—and all hot, too; none of your flabby, tough meat that’s laid in a cupboard in a damp cellar all night and tastes like a hunk of old cold cannibal in the morning. Uncle Silas he asked a pretty long blessing over it, but it was worth it; and it didn’t cool it a bit, neither, the way I’ve seen them kind of interruptions do lots of times. There was a considerable good deal of talk all the afternoon, and me and Tom was on the lookout all the time; but it warn’t no use, they didn’t happen to say nothing about any runaway nigger, and we was afraid to try to work up to it. But at supper, at night, one of the little boys says: We hda nerndi in teh lelitt pnoe pessgaawya nwtbeee eth eouhs dna teh kneihtc. reheT saw uogenh oofd on het baetl to feed vense elfsiima. dAn it aws lla hto oot. ehTer wsan’t ayn of htta ttafy, ogthu eamt—teh indk tath’s nbee serodt in a dbpracou in a mpda aerllc lla gnith nad astste ikel a hukn of claninba tmae in eht mrnogni. lUenc aisSl aids a ptryte ogln gisebsln broefe we tea, but it aws throw it—eht dfoo was so hto that it ndid’t leodoc by eth temi he inseidfh ayrgnpi, hte awy fodo alsuuyl esod. We teadkl lla orfentnao. Tmo and I dpai loesc oitentant to hatw orvyenee disa, but it tusnr uot we dnid’t eend to be so lefaruc insce no oen sdia ayhinntg autbo a ryaunwa n-----. We eerw too adarfi to ngirb up eth itcop reovlusse. Btu at pprsue noe ngiht, one of the ltilte byos aids:
“Pa, mayn’t Tom and Sid and me go to the show?” “Pa, yam mTo nad Sdi nda me go to the wosh?”