Original Text
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Modern Text
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HAMLET
O God, your only jig-maker. What should a man do
but be merry? For, look you, how cheerfully my
mother looks, and my father died within these two hours.
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HAMLET
Oh God—who is, by the way, the best comic of them all.
What can you do but be happy? Look how cheerful my mother is, only
two hours after my father died.
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OPHELIA
Nay, ’tis twice two months, my lord.
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OPHELIA
No, my lord, it’s been four months.
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HAMLET
So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I’ll
have a
suit of sables. O heavens! Die two months ago and not
forgotten yet? Then there’s hope a great
man’s memory may
outlive his life half a year. But, by 'r Lady, he must
build
churches then, or else shall he suffer not thinking on, with
the hobby-horse, whose epitaph is “For, oh, for, oh,
the
hobby-horse is forgot.”
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HAMLET
As long as that? Well, in that case these mourning clothes can go
to hell. I’ll get myself a fur-trimmed suit. Good
heavens, he died two months ago and hasn’t been forgotten
yet? In that case, there’s reason to hope a
man’s memory may outlive him by six months. But
he’s got to build churches for that to happen, my lady,
or else he’ll have to put up with being forgotten, like
the hobby-horse in the popular song that goes, “Heigh-ho,
heigh-ho, the hobby-horse is forgotten.”
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125
Trumpets sound. The dumb show begins
Enter a King and a Queen very lovingly, the
Queen embracing him and he her. She kneels and makes show of
protestation unto him. He takes her up and declines his head
upon her neck, lays him down upon a bank of flowers. She, seeing
him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his
crown, kisses it, pours poison in the King’s ears,
and exits. The Queen returns, finds the King dead, and makes
passionate action. The Poisoner, with some two or three Mutes,
comes in again, seeming to lament with her. The dead body is
carried away. The Poisoner woos the Queen with gifts. She seems
loath and unwilling awhile, but in the end accepts his
love
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Trumpets play. The pantomime show begins. A
king and queen enter and embrace lovingly. She kneels before him
and resists his passion. He lifts her up and lays his head on
her neck. He lies down on a bank of flowers. When she sees him
sleeping, she leaves. Another man comes in, takes the crown from
the king, pours poison in the sleeping man’s ear, and
leaves. The queen returns and finds the king dead. She becomes
hysterical. The killer comes back with three others and calms
the queen. The body is carried away. The killer woos the queen
with gifts. She is cold toward him for a while but then relents
and accepts his advances.
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Exeunt PLAYERS
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The PLAYERS
exit.
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OPHELIA
What means this, my lord?
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OPHELIA
What does this mean, my lord?
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HAMLET
Marry, this is miching malhecho. It
means mischief.
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HAMLET
This means we’re having some mischievous fun.
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