Original Text
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Modern Text
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HAMLET
With drink, sir?
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HAMLET
What, an upset stomach from too much booze?
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GUILDENSTERN
No, my lord, with choler.
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GUILDENSTERN
No, sir, he’s angry.
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HAMLET
Your wisdom should show itself more richer to signify this
to the doctor. For, for me to put him to his purgation would
perhaps plunge him into far more choler.
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HAMLET
You should be smart enough to tell this to a doctor, not me, since
if I treated him, he’d just get angrier.
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GUILDENSTERN
Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame and start
not so wildly from my affair.
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GUILDENSTERN
My lord, please try to stick to the subject at hand.
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HAMLET
I am tame, sir. Pronounce.
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HAMLET
I’ll be good, sir. Go ahead.
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GUILDENSTERN
The queen your mother, in most great affliction of spirit,
hath sent me to you.
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GUILDENSTERN
The queen your mother is upset, and sent me to see you.
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HAMLET
You are welcome.
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HAMLET
It’s lovely to see you.
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GUILDENSTERN
Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of the right breed. If
it shall please you to make me a wholesome answer, I will do
your mother’s commandment. If not, your pardon and my
return shall be the end of my business.
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GUILDENSTERN
No, my lord, your polite words are not to the point. If you could
please stop fooling around, I’ll tell you what your
mother wants. If not, I’ll leave you alone and
that’ll be the end of my business.
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HAMLET
Sir, I cannot.
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HAMLET
Sir, I can’t.
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GUILDENSTERN
What, my lord?
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GUILDENSTERN
Can’t what, my lord?
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HAMLET
Make you a wholesome answer. My wit’s diseased. But,
sir,
such answer as I can make, you shall command. Or, rather,
as you say, my mother. Therefore no more but to the matter.
My mother, you say—
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HAMLET
Stop fooling around. My mind is confused. But I’ll do
my best to give you a straight answer, as you wish—or
rather, as my mother wishes. Okay, to the point. My mother, you say
…?
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ROSENCRANTZ
Then thus she says: your behavior hath struck her into
amazement and admiration.
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ROSENCRANTZ
She says that your behavior has astonished her.
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