No Fear Shakespeare: Hamlet: Act 5 Scene 1 Page 3

Original Text	Modern Text
Now thou dost ill to say the gallows is built stronger than the church. Argal, the gallows may do well to thee. To ’t again, come.	Now, it’s wrong to say that the gallows are stronger than a church. Therefore, the gallows may do you some good. Come on, your turn.
OTHER “Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or a carpenter?”	OTHER Let’s see, “Who builds stronger things than a stonemason, a shipbuilder, or a carpenter?”
GRAVEDIGGER Ay, tell me that, and unyoke.	GRAVEDIGGER That’s the question, so answer it.
OTHER Marry, now I can tell.	OTHER Ah, I’ve got it!
GRAVEDIGGER 50To ’t.	GRAVEDIGGER Go ahead.
OTHER Mass, I cannot tell.	OTHER Damn, I forgot.
Enter HAMLET and HORATIO afar off	HAMLET and HORATIO enter in the distance.
GRAVEDIGGER Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating. And when you are asked this question next, say “A grave-maker.” The houses that he makes last till doomsday. Go, get thee in. Fetch me a stoup of liquor.	GRAVEDIGGER Don’t beat your brains out over it. You can’t make a slow donkey run by beating it. The next time someone asks you this riddle, say “a gravedigger.” The houses he makes last till Judgment Day. Now go and get me some booze.
Exit OTHER	The OTHER GRAVEDIGGER exits.
(digs and sings) In youth when I did love, did love, Methought it was very sweet To contract–o–the time, for–a–my behove, Oh, methought, there–a–was nothing–a–meet.	(the GRAVEDIGGER digs and sings) In my youth I loved, I loved, And I thought it was very sweet To set—ohh—the date for—ahh—my duty Oh, I thought it—ahh—was not right.
HAMLET Has this fellow no feeling of his business? He sings at grave- making.	HAMLET Doesn’t this guy realize what he’s doing? He’s singing while digging a grave.