No Fear Shakespeare: Henry IV, Part 2: Act 2 Scene 4

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Henry IV, Part 2

William Shakespeare

Act 2 Scene 4

Original Text

Modern Text

Original Text

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter two DRAWERS	Enter two DRAWERS
FRANCIS What the devil hast thou brought there—applejohns? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an applejohn.	FRANCIS What the devil hast thou brought there—applejohns? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an applejohn.
SECOND DRAWER Mass, thou sayest true. The Prince once set a dish of applejohns before him and told him there were five more Sir 5 Johns and, putting off his hat, said “I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, withered knights.” It angered him to the heart. But he hath forgot that.	SECOND DRAWER Mass, thou sayest true. The Prince once set a dish of applejohns before him and told him there were five more Sir Johns and, putting off his hat, said “I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, withered knights.” It angered him to the heart. But he hath forgot that.
FRANCIS Why then, cover, and set them down, and see if thou canst find out Sneak’s noise. Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear 10 some music.	FRANCIS Why then, cover, and set them down, and see if thou canst find out Sneak’s noise. Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear some music.
Enter THIRD DRAWER	Enter THIRD DRAWER
THIRD DRAWER Dispatch: the room where they supped is too hot. They’ll come in straight.	THIRD DRAWER Dispatch: the room where they supped is too hot. They’ll come in straight.
FRANCIS Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons, and Sir John 15 must not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.	FRANCIS Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons, and Sir John must not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.
THIRD DRAWER By the Mass, here will be old utis. It will be an excellent stratagem.	THIRD DRAWER By the Mass, here will be old utis. It will be an excellent stratagem.
SECOND DRAWER I’ll see if I can find out Sneak.	SECOND DRAWER I’ll see if I can find out Sneak.
FRANCIS and THE DRAWERS exit	FRANCIS and THE DRAWERS exit
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET	Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET
MISTRESS QUICKLY I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an excellent 20 good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good truth, la. But, i' faith, you have drunk too much canaries, and that’s a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can say “What’s this?” 25 How do you now?	MISTRESS QUICKLY I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an excellent good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good truth, la. But, i' faith, you have drunk too much canaries, and that’s a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can say “What’s this?” How do you now?
DOLL TEARSHEET Better than I was. Hem.	DOLL TEARSHEET Better than I was. Hem.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Why, that’s well said. A good heart’s worth gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.	MISTRESS QUICKLY Why, that’s well said. A good heart’s worth gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.
Enter FALSTAFF	Enter FALSTAFF
FALSTAFF (sings) When Arthur first in court—Empty the jordan. (sings) And was a worthy king—How now, Mistress Doll?	FALSTAFF (sings) When Arthur first in court—Empty the jordan. (sings) And was a worthy king—How now, Mistress Doll?
MISTRESS QUICKLY Sick of a calm, yea, good faith.	MISTRESS QUICKLY Sick of a calm, yea, good faith.
FALSTAFF So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm, they are sick.	FALSTAFF So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm, they are sick.
DOLL TEARSHEET A pox damn you, muddy rascal. Is that all the comfort you give me?	DOLL TEARSHEET A pox damn you, muddy rascal. Is that all the comfort you give me?
FALSTAFF 35 You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.	FALSTAFF You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.
DOLL TEARSHEET I make them? Gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.	DOLL TEARSHEET I make them? Gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.
FALSTAFF If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, Doll, we catch of you. Grant 40 that, my poor virtue, grant that.	FALSTAFF If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, Doll, we catch of you. Grant that, my poor virtue, grant that.
DOLL TEARSHEET Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.	DOLL TEARSHEET Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.
FALSTAFF Your broaches, pearls, and ouches—for to serve bravely is to come halting off, you know; to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely, to venture upon 45 the charged chambers bravely—	FALSTAFF Your broaches, pearls, and ouches—for to serve bravely is to come halting off, you know; to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely, to venture upon the charged chambers bravely—
DOLL TEARSHEET Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!	DOLL TEARSHEET Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!
MISTRESS QUICKLY By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two never meet but you fall to some discord. You are both, i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts. You cannot one bear with 50 another’s confirmities. What the good-year! One must bear, and that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel.	MISTRESS QUICKLY By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two never meet but you fall to some discord. You are both, i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts. You cannot one bear with another’s confirmities. What the good-year! One must bear, and that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel.
DOLL TEARSHEET Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? There’s a whole merchant’s venture of Bourdeaux stuff in 55 him. You have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold. — ome, I’ll be friends with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the	DOLL TEARSHEET Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? There’s a whole merchant’s venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him. You have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold. — ome, I’ll be friends with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the
wars, and whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is nobody cares.	wars, and whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is nobody cares.
Enter FIRST DRAWER	Enter FIRST DRAWER
FIRST DRAWER Sir, Ancient Pistol’s below and would speak with 60 you.	FIRST DRAWER Sir, Ancient Pistol’s below and would speak with you.
DOLL TEARSHEET Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come hither. It is the foul-mouthed’st rogue in England.	DOLL TEARSHEET Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come hither. It is the foul-mouthed’st rogue in England.
MISTRESS QUICKLY If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by my faith, I must live among my neighbors. I’ll no swaggerers: I am in good 65 name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There comes no swaggerers here. I have not lived all this while to have swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.	MISTRESS QUICKLY If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by my faith, I must live among my neighbors. I’ll no swaggerers: I am in good name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There comes no swaggerers here. I have not lived all this while to have swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.
FALSTAFF Dost thou hear, hostess?	FALSTAFF Dost thou hear, hostess?
MISTRESS QUICKLY Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There comes no swaggerers 70 here.	MISTRESS QUICKLY Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There comes no swaggerers here.
FALSTAFF Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.	FALSTAFF Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Tilly-vally, Sir John, ne'er tell me. And your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick, the debuty t' other day, and, as he said to me—’twas 75 no longer ago than Wednesday last, i' good faith— “Neighbour Quickly,” says he—Master Dumb, our minister, was by then—“Neighbour Quickly,” says he, “receive those that are civil, for,” said he, “you are in an ill name.” Now he said so, I can tell whereupon. “For,” says he, “you are an 80 honest woman, and well thought on. Therefore take heed what guests you receive. Receive,” says he, “no swaggering	MISTRESS QUICKLY Tilly-vally, Sir John, ne'er tell me. And your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick, the debuty t' other day, and, as he said to me—’twas no longer ago than Wednesday last, i' good faith— “Neighbour Quickly,” says he—Master Dumb, our minister, was by then—“Neighbour Quickly,” says he, “receive those that are civil, for,” said he, “you are in an ill name.” Now he said so, I can tell whereupon. “For,” says he, “you are an honest woman, and well thought on. Therefore take heed what guests you receive. Receive,” says he, “no swaggering
companions.” There comes none here. You would bless you to hear what he said. No, I’ll no swaggerers.	companions.” There comes none here. You would bless you to hear what he said. No, I’ll no swaggerers.
FALSTAFF He’s no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i' faith. You may 85 stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. He’ll not swagger with a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.—Call him up, drawer.	FALSTAFF He’s no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i' faith. You may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. He’ll not swagger with a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.—Call him up, drawer.
Exit FIRST DRAWER	Exit FIRST DRAWER

Original Text	Modern Text
Enter two DRAWERS	Enter two DRAWERS
FRANCIS What the devil hast thou brought there—applejohns? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an applejohn.	FRANCIS What the devil hast thou brought there—applejohns? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an applejohn.
SECOND DRAWER Mass, thou sayest true. The Prince once set a dish of applejohns before him and told him there were five more Sir 5 Johns and, putting off his hat, said “I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, withered knights.” It angered him to the heart. But he hath forgot that.	SECOND DRAWER Mass, thou sayest true. The Prince once set a dish of applejohns before him and told him there were five more Sir Johns and, putting off his hat, said “I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, withered knights.” It angered him to the heart. But he hath forgot that.
FRANCIS Why then, cover, and set them down, and see if thou canst find out Sneak’s noise. Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear 10 some music.	FRANCIS Why then, cover, and set them down, and see if thou canst find out Sneak’s noise. Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear some music.
Enter THIRD DRAWER	Enter THIRD DRAWER
THIRD DRAWER Dispatch: the room where they supped is too hot. They’ll come in straight.	THIRD DRAWER Dispatch: the room where they supped is too hot. They’ll come in straight.
FRANCIS Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons, and Sir John 15 must not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.	FRANCIS Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons, and Sir John must not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.
THIRD DRAWER By the Mass, here will be old utis. It will be an excellent stratagem.	THIRD DRAWER By the Mass, here will be old utis. It will be an excellent stratagem.
SECOND DRAWER I’ll see if I can find out Sneak.	SECOND DRAWER I’ll see if I can find out Sneak.
FRANCIS and THE DRAWERS exit	FRANCIS and THE DRAWERS exit
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET	Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET
MISTRESS QUICKLY I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an excellent 20 good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good truth, la. But, i' faith, you have drunk too much canaries, and that’s a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can say “What’s this?” 25 How do you now?	MISTRESS QUICKLY I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an excellent good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good truth, la. But, i' faith, you have drunk too much canaries, and that’s a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can say “What’s this?” How do you now?
DOLL TEARSHEET Better than I was. Hem.	DOLL TEARSHEET Better than I was. Hem.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Why, that’s well said. A good heart’s worth gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.	MISTRESS QUICKLY Why, that’s well said. A good heart’s worth gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.
Enter FALSTAFF	Enter FALSTAFF
FALSTAFF (sings) When Arthur first in court—Empty the jordan. (sings) And was a worthy king—How now, Mistress Doll?	FALSTAFF (sings) When Arthur first in court—Empty the jordan. (sings) And was a worthy king—How now, Mistress Doll?
MISTRESS QUICKLY Sick of a calm, yea, good faith.	MISTRESS QUICKLY Sick of a calm, yea, good faith.
FALSTAFF So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm, they are sick.	FALSTAFF So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm, they are sick.
DOLL TEARSHEET A pox damn you, muddy rascal. Is that all the comfort you give me?	DOLL TEARSHEET A pox damn you, muddy rascal. Is that all the comfort you give me?
FALSTAFF 35 You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.	FALSTAFF You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.
DOLL TEARSHEET I make them? Gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.	DOLL TEARSHEET I make them? Gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.
FALSTAFF If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, Doll, we catch of you. Grant 40 that, my poor virtue, grant that.	FALSTAFF If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, Doll, we catch of you. Grant that, my poor virtue, grant that.
DOLL TEARSHEET Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.	DOLL TEARSHEET Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.
FALSTAFF Your broaches, pearls, and ouches—for to serve bravely is to come halting off, you know; to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely, to venture upon 45 the charged chambers bravely—	FALSTAFF Your broaches, pearls, and ouches—for to serve bravely is to come halting off, you know; to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely, to venture upon the charged chambers bravely—
DOLL TEARSHEET Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!	DOLL TEARSHEET Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!
MISTRESS QUICKLY By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two never meet but you fall to some discord. You are both, i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts. You cannot one bear with 50 another’s confirmities. What the good-year! One must bear, and that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel.	MISTRESS QUICKLY By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two never meet but you fall to some discord. You are both, i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts. You cannot one bear with another’s confirmities. What the good-year! One must bear, and that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel.
DOLL TEARSHEET Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? There’s a whole merchant’s venture of Bourdeaux stuff in 55 him. You have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold. — ome, I’ll be friends with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the	DOLL TEARSHEET Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? There’s a whole merchant’s venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him. You have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold. — ome, I’ll be friends with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the
wars, and whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is nobody cares.	wars, and whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is nobody cares.
Enter FIRST DRAWER	Enter FIRST DRAWER
FIRST DRAWER Sir, Ancient Pistol’s below and would speak with 60 you.	FIRST DRAWER Sir, Ancient Pistol’s below and would speak with you.
DOLL TEARSHEET Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come hither. It is the foul-mouthed’st rogue in England.	DOLL TEARSHEET Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come hither. It is the foul-mouthed’st rogue in England.
MISTRESS QUICKLY If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by my faith, I must live among my neighbors. I’ll no swaggerers: I am in good 65 name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There comes no swaggerers here. I have not lived all this while to have swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.	MISTRESS QUICKLY If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by my faith, I must live among my neighbors. I’ll no swaggerers: I am in good name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There comes no swaggerers here. I have not lived all this while to have swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.
FALSTAFF Dost thou hear, hostess?	FALSTAFF Dost thou hear, hostess?
MISTRESS QUICKLY Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There comes no swaggerers 70 here.	MISTRESS QUICKLY Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There comes no swaggerers here.
FALSTAFF Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.	FALSTAFF Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Tilly-vally, Sir John, ne'er tell me. And your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick, the debuty t' other day, and, as he said to me—’twas 75 no longer ago than Wednesday last, i' good faith— “Neighbour Quickly,” says he—Master Dumb, our minister, was by then—“Neighbour Quickly,” says he, “receive those that are civil, for,” said he, “you are in an ill name.” Now he said so, I can tell whereupon. “For,” says he, “you are an 80 honest woman, and well thought on. Therefore take heed what guests you receive. Receive,” says he, “no swaggering	MISTRESS QUICKLY Tilly-vally, Sir John, ne'er tell me. And your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick, the debuty t' other day, and, as he said to me—’twas no longer ago than Wednesday last, i' good faith— “Neighbour Quickly,” says he—Master Dumb, our minister, was by then—“Neighbour Quickly,” says he, “receive those that are civil, for,” said he, “you are in an ill name.” Now he said so, I can tell whereupon. “For,” says he, “you are an honest woman, and well thought on. Therefore take heed what guests you receive. Receive,” says he, “no swaggering
companions.” There comes none here. You would bless you to hear what he said. No, I’ll no swaggerers.	companions.” There comes none here. You would bless you to hear what he said. No, I’ll no swaggerers.
FALSTAFF He’s no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i' faith. You may 85 stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. He’ll not swagger with a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.—Call him up, drawer.	FALSTAFF He’s no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i' faith. You may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. He’ll not swagger with a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.—Call him up, drawer.
Exit FIRST DRAWER	Exit FIRST DRAWER