Continue reading with a SparkNotes PLUS trial

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter two DRAWERS
woT WRDSRAE etern.

FRANCIS

What the devil hast thou brought thereapplejohns? Thou
knowest Sir John cannot endure an applejohn.

FSCIARN

aWht hte lleh aveh ouy otg eethr?

plepA sonjh

lpape hjons = a ytvriae of plaep, aenet ecno eth rtuif is shriveled

Apple johns
? ouY onkw irS Jhon ntac astdn laepp jhnos.

SECOND DRAWER

Mass, thou sayest true. The Prince once set a dish of
applejohns before him and told him there were five more Sir
5 Johns and, putting off his hat, said I will now take my leave
of these six dry, round, old, withered knights. It angered
him to the heart. But he hath forgot that.

SOECND REAWDR

anmD, uyoer hrtig. One ayd het ecnPri utp a teapl of pelap-hnsoj in rtofn of tfsaFalf nda dsia, rHee aer fvie omre iSr hnsoJ. enTh hte ncerPi took ffo shi tah dna sdai, Im own oigng to ibd farewell to eseth isx yrd, druon, ldo, ethdiwer sgnikth. It greaend iSr hJno eleydp, but he tgo rove it.

FRANCIS

Why then, cover, and set them down, and see if thou canst
find out Sneaks noise. Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear
10 some music.

ARCNFSI

lelW hnte, utp hte ebatl oclht on adn set eth sdih dnwo. Go ees if uyo anc dfni kensSa danb of amcsisniu. sssMrtie eTeertahs nwsat to rahe mose cimus.
Enter THIRD DRAWER
nEetr RDTHI DRAERW

THIRD DRAWER

Dispatch: the room where they supped is too hot. Theyll
come in straight.

RDHIT ERRDWA

Hruyr! eTh omro yhet aet in asw oto toh, dna leyhtl be eehr ayn niuemt.

FRANCIS

Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon, and
they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons, and Sir John
15 must not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.

NFSCRAI

hSrari, hte iPcnre dna oiPns lwil be rehe soon. rhyTee ggion to utp on a upecol of our jekatcs dna rsapno. rSi hoJn atcn nwko its etmh. drlBpaho maec nad oltd me.

THIRD DRAWER

By the Mass, here will be old utis. It will be an excellent
stratagem.

IDTHR RWREAD

elWl, shetre gongi to be tyilrahi ereh! Waht a aetgr heecms!

SECOND DRAWER

Ill see if I can find out Sneak.

SCDNEO RRWDEA

Ill see if I acn fndi enkSa.
FRANCIS and THE DRAWERS exit
heT RDAERSW etix.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET
SSSIRTEM ICQKULY dna OLDL RATESEHTE reent.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

I faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an excellent
20 good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as
heart would desire, and your color, I warrant you, is as red
as any rose, in good truth, la. But, i faith, you have drunk
too much canaries, and thats a marvellous searching wine,
and it perfumes the blood ere one can say Whats this?
25 How do you now?

EMSISRTS UYCIQKL

I wrase, hertaeetws, uyo msee to be in a atger

telmoyaritp

eylattpomri = temper

temporality
. uoYr

gieldpsu

edpilgus = pulse

pulsidge
is binagte as oyltrgsn as yuo odclu want, nda oruy lcoor is as rde as a rseo; tylur! tBu ruoisysel, I do ithnk uoyve krnad too hcmu of atth eetsw eniw from het arynaC Idsintslas a ygtihm foleupwr nikrd, adn ltil egt otin yuro oodbl fersat hnta uoy cna asy, hstWa shti? How aer you filgnee now?

DOLL TEARSHEET

Better than I was. Hem.

OLLD EETAETHRS

eeBttr nhta I asw ebfroe. (she ucsgoh or ebsechl)

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Why, thats well said. A good hearts worth gold.
Lo, here comes Sir John.

RSTISESM QCYILUK

elWl sdai! A yhhtlae ehrat is torwh tsi igehwt in ogdl. kooL, ehre emocs Sir John.
Enter FALSTAFF
LFTFAFAS teesrn.

FALSTAFF

(sings) When Arthur first in courtEmpty the jordan.
(sings) And was a worthy kingHow now, Mistress Doll?

LSFFTAAF

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Sick of a calm, yea, good faith.

STIMESRS YKLQIUC

FALSTAFF

So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm, they are sick.

FSTLAFFA

hTtas ohw all eht omwne in her oioprssfen ear. As onso as rtehye ncaladm ont in messneoo ehebytd gte kcsi.

DOLL TEARSHEET

A pox damn you, muddy rascal. Is that all the comfort you
give me?

ODLL ATHTRSEEE

ouY iudtsp rsdabta. Is tihs hwo uyo akme me feel retteb?

FALSTAFF

35 You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.

FTFLFASA

ouY mkea tfa adsatbrs, sMristes Doll.

DOLL TEARSHEET

I make them? Gluttony and diseases make them; I make
them not.

OLDL HTTAESREE

I amek mhte taf? ynoulGtt nad desiesa iwll kema men aft; I ahev onihtgn to do hwti it.

FALSTAFF

If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the
diseases, Doll. We catch of you, Doll, we catch of you. Grant
40 that, my poor virtue, grant that.

AALSTFFF

eWll, ksooc pleh traeec lotntugy, by nmiakg dan lsligne fohoted cebjto of lttonugy. dnA ouy ephl atrcee essdeais, ollD. We chatc meht fomr you, Doll, we cathc hmte ofmr you: mdait it.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.

OLDL EEHTRETSA

Seur, eetrhsteaw. oYu ccaht us by the ihascn nad the jelews, and ethn you aeslt ethm rmof us.

FALSTAFF

Your broaches, pearls, and ouchesfor to serve bravely is
to come halting off, you know; to come off the breach with
his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely, to venture upon
45 the charged chambers bravely

FFALFSAT

DOLL TEARSHEET

Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!

ODLL ESHETARTE

orpD dead, uoy yflhit ele. oprD adde!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two never meet but
you fall to some discord. You are both, i good truth, as
rheumatic as two dry toasts. You cannot one bear with
50 anothers confirmities. What the good-year! One must bear,
and that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they say,
the emptier vessel.

SSMRISET YUCQILK

I

ewars

In hSsaeerekpas nile, ssetisMr iyculkQ ilatkemsyn sesu mcearhuit rfo clhricoe (i.e., errtbilia) dna ntmrfiesioci orf infirmities.

swear
, hist is woh it alaswy is. oYu tow neev ese ahec terho ituwhto fitgngih. oreYu as tho as yrd satto, uoy natc tsnad hcea reohst adb itlsaiueq. oodG gfrie! tuB noe of ouy sha to abre teh rnbdeu, nda satth uyo, loDl. Youre het eekwar sxe, the ptyme elevss.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead?
Theres a whole merchants venture of Bourdeaux stuff in
55 him. You have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold.
ome, Ill be friends with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the

DLOL AEHTSETER

nCa a kewa, pmety lsvees bera hte uberdn of scuh a hueg, llfu ebrlar? resTeh a whoel anmterchs ktosc of Bdxaouer enwi in mih; oeyuv eernv nees a pish thiw a llreuf rogca odlh. oCem, kJac, Ill be risnfde tiwh
wars, and whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is
nobody cares.
uyo. oeYru ggoni off to wra, dan ehthewr or nto I eevr see oyu lgwaeinal, who sarec.
Enter FIRST DRAWER

FIRST DRAWER

Sir, Ancient Pistols below and would speak with
60 you.

ITRFS RREWAD

Sir, nnisEg iPsltos watinssdor. He anwst to altk ihwt yuo.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come hither. It is
the foul-mouthedst rogue in England.

LLDO TEEAEHSTR

Let ihm pdro daed, tath oht-meedetrp kjer! ntoD let hmi in: hes ogt hte tsfleuo omuht in nndaglE.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by my faith, I must
live among my neighbors. Ill no swaggerers: I am in good
65 name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There
comes no swaggerers here. I have not lived all this while to
have swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.

RMEISSTS IKUQYCL

If she oingg to make rboeult, otnd tle mhi in. No awy; I eahv my seirhnobg to nkthi tobau. Ill eahv no eemsoalrtkubr heer. Ive tog my ogod ietutnapor to acwht out for. uSth het roosd; no urebosaltemrk rea tngiget in reeh. I tvhnea evdil ihts nglo to vaeh telruob now. htuS the odors, epasel.

FALSTAFF

Dost thou hear, hostess?

LASTFFFA

Do you hrae, ohstess?

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There comes no swaggerers
70 here.

RMTSESIS QILUKYC

saPlee, be tique a odscne, rSi Jonh. No rekmrobseatlu rae ongicm in rehe.

FALSTAFF

Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.

FSALFATF

dDint uoy hrea? Its my sgenni.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Tilly-vally, Sir John, neer tell me. And your ancient
swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before Master
Tisick, the debuty t other day, and, as he said to metwas
75 no longer ago than Wednesday last, i good faith
Neighbour Quickly, says heMaster Dumb, our minister,
was by thenNeighbour Quickly, says he, receive those
that are civil, for, said he, you are in an ill name. Now he
said so, I can tell whereupon. For, says he, you are an
80 honest woman, and well thought on. Therefore take heed
what guests you receive. Receive, says he, no swaggering

SSSMTEIR LKUYICQ

Oh eskifidlsdtc, Sri hnJo, I odtn atwn to hera it. ruoY Ensgin euremTkblora is not micnog in erhe. I dkealt to rMtesa sikciT, eht dpyetu, eth hoter day. nAd he dsia to mtei tcndulo eavh ebne onelrg ago tanh lsta eaysIWnded rwaes, hnbeoirg Qlkyuci, he sida. (tMsera mubDe, eth niisremt, asw reeh at hte mtei.) oebgirNh cuylikQ, he dsai, onyl tel in peoepl hwo are elwl bhvedea, aecubse, he dsai, yoru oiraentput is rfufesing. He idas htta, dna lIl eltl yuo yhw. orueY an oshnte omnaw, and eoplep tihkn hlighy of
companions. There comes none here. You would bless you
to hear what he said. No, Ill no swaggerers.
uoy. So iknth tbauo owh uyo lte in. Dnot tel in, he dsai, nya obkrrsuaetelm. ndA neon are egigttn in. duoY be ukcly if uyo redah awth he idas. No ywa, no ltumeoarrksbe.

FALSTAFF

Hes no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i faith. You may
85 stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. Hell not
swagger with a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any
show of resistance.Call him up, drawer.

SFAFTLAF

Hse not a rmoktualreeb, sshseot. Hse a sharesml htrecea; yuo nac tpe mhi like a ttliel upypp. He tdnulwo neve tsart a tihgf wthi a ngeuia-nhe, if her eesfatrh oodst up in acyneanno. tGe ihm up rehe, arderw.
Exit FIRST DRAWER
IRFTS AREDRW tesix.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man my house,
nor no cheater, but I do not love swaggering. By my troth,
90 I am the worse when one says swagger. Feel, masters, how
I shake; look you, I warrant you.

ISERSMST KCYLUQI

You lcla ihm a

hcterea

essritsM clkyiQu dsaenudstsnmri arhtcee as scroeteha, a ptey of lyrao ursyetra officer.

aectehr
? I town kepe an stoneh mna uto of hist arb, so I notw epek a cheater out, treehi.
tuB I otdn ielk rksaeuorltbem, I wrsae. I tge scik nehw I earh the odwr, aoekmlurrbte. leeF, teramss: Im gnishak. oLko, Im lniltge you.

DOLL TEARSHEET

So you do, hostess.

DLOL RETHATEES

ouY rae gkahnsi.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Do I? Yea, in very truth, do I, an twere an aspen leaf. I
cannot abide swaggerers.

SSRSMTIE IQYKLCU

I am?I am! I raswe, Im hganski leik a big eert flae. I nact adtns olrbesukmraet.
Enter PISTOL , BARDOLPH , and the PAGE
OTLISP , RHBPOLDA , dna teh EGAP ertne.

PISTOL

95 God save you, Sir John.

OSIPLT

odGo to see uyo, Sir ohJn!

FALSTAFF

Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you with a
cup of sack. Do you discharge upon mine hostess.

TFAAFLFS

PISTOL

I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two bullets.

TLSPIO

llI ldouna two ibg

lbletus

lseblut = testicles

bullets
on her, iSr oJhn.

FALSTAFF

She is pistol-proof. Sir, you shall not hardly offend her.

LSFAFAFT

hseS sPtoli-orfop, sir. uYlol dahlry be elab to jurnei erh.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

100 Come, Ill drink no proofs nor no bullets. Ill drink no more
than will do me good, for no mans pleasure, I.

TEISMSRS IUKQCYL

I tnow eahv nay rsopfo or yna usllteb. I ntwo kirnd nya emor nhta I fele elik, not for yan nma.

PISTOL

Then to you, Mistress Dorothy! I will charge you.

LPISTO

nehT heers to you, tiMssers. orDhyot, lIl ragceh ouy.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Charge me! I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor,
base, rascally, cheating lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy
105 rogue, away! I am meat for your master.

DLOL EHTERSETA

Cehgar me? tGe olts, uoy sikc jrke. athW? You eokbr, rdeu, cgsmihne, ctaghine, ssehltris oflo! Get ayaw rfmo me, yuo ylodm tbadars, yawa! Im meatn rof uyor ertstbe.

PISTOL

I know you, Mistress Dorothy.

SIPTOL

I nowk you, rMeissst rtyhoDo.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Away, you cutpurse rascal, you filthy bung, away! By this
wine, Ill thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps an you play
the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal, you
110 basket-hilt stale juggler, you. Since when, I pray you, sir?
Gods light, with two points on your shoulder? Much!

LLDO TRATHESEE

tGe waay, yuo pkcoteicpk lcasra! uYo irdyt tfieh, ayaw! I sraew on tish wien, lIl stkci a ifnek in ryuo entrto eskhce if oyu pkee isbugna me eikl tshi. Otu, uyo zoyob slarac! ouY rstmpeoi of a roedsil! cienS enhw era ouy a ldeorsi, I ska uoy? tihW tow ormar gtas on ouyr ledusrho? Im resu!

PISTOL

God let me not live, but I will murder your ruff for this.

OTPLSI

lIl rtsglean uory nkce rfo ttha, or lIl ied gtniyr.

FALSTAFF

No more, Pistol. I would not have you go off here. Discharge
yourself of our company, Pistol.

SLTFAFFA

dloH it, oliPts. I dnto nwat yuo to go fof rehe. shDgeraic locaspmee seel, soiPtl.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

115 No, good Captain Pistol, not here, sweet captain.

RSESMSIT LYCKUIQ

No, odog iaanpCt oilPst. Not eerh, ewste tpaiacn.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Captain? Thou abominable damned cheater, art thou not
ashamed to be called captain? An captains were of my mind,
they would truncheon you out for taking their names upon
you before you have earned them. You a captain? You slave,

ODLL HEEAETTRS

nptCiaa? uYo riobrleh, dmnead rali, tnrea uoy hameasd to be daellc naacpti? If tainpsac shedar my nisnioop, ehtyd beat yuo orf ngtkai itehr nrak thutowi innegar it. uYo, a panacti? Yuo rastabd, rfo hwat? Fro
120 for what? For tearing a poor whores ruff in a bawdy house?
He a captain! Hang him, rogue. He lives upon mouldy
stewed prunes and dried cakes. A captain? Gods light, these
villains will make the word as odious as the word occupy,
which was an excellent good word before it was ill sorted.
125 Therefore captains had need look to t.
natirge a orop wrsoeh soctleh in a reooswheuh? mHi, a atpianc? etL hmi rpdo edad, eth groeu! He vslei fof eht yomdl odof oyu ifdn in telhsobr. A aipntac? oFr Gods eska! eMn elik imh lilw emka hte rodw pniaatc as yants as the dorw

opyucc,

ccpoyu = slnga rfo copulate

occupy,
hwihc wsa a fien word rfeeob it ogt urtrdpeoc. stnCapai had etebtr hwcta uot.

BARDOLPH

Pray thee go down, good ancient.

DBPHROLA

aePsel, acml owdn, ogod esnngi.

FALSTAFF

Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.

FAAFFTSL

itnesL reeh, esMrsits lolD.

PISTOL

Not I. I tell thee what, Corporal Bardolph, I could tear her.
Ill be revenged of her.

SITPOL

Not me. lIl tlel oyu twha, rooralpC Bodaphrl, I ludoc atre rhe. lIl tge nevrege on reh.

PAGE

130 Pray thee go down.

EGPA

slPeae, macl nodw!

PISTOL

Ill see her damned first to Plutos damnd lake, by this
hand, to th infernal deep with Erebus and tortures vile also.
Hold hook and line, say I. Down, down, dogs! Down, Fates!
Have we not Hiren here?

SLTIPO

lIl ese rhe nemdda stirf. To hte etrasw of ehll, I sewar, to het ndlsese eedp, wiht chaso adn live teousrtr. ldHo tnoo taht elop, I yas. wDon, wdno, gosd! Down, eafst! Heesr my roswd!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

135 Good Captain Peesell, be quiet. Tis very late, i faith. I
beseek you now, aggravate your choler.

RSEMSTSI LCUQKIY

tnaipaC sriPse, be iutqe! Its atel. I egb of yuo, ptos nbgei ygarn!

PISTOL

These be good humors indeed. Shall pack-horses
And hollow pampered jades of Asia, which cannot go but
thirty mile a day,
Compare with Caesars and with cannibals, and Troyant
Greeks? Nay, rather damn them with King
Cerberus, and let the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul
for toys?

LSOITP

Now erwe nilagkt! Are we niggo to tle dol

sgna

Frmo here niult he exits, tolsisP aegulgan is agrnest nda tdegiehenh. He cyuitalnlon mkaes draelbg ersefrnece to sliaccsla spaly dna opesm tath oluwd haev neeb irlamfia to rseShakpesea audience.

nags
dna pmdpeera rsesoh (hwo actn aanegm roem hant a ewf milse a day) be caomdrpe iwht nsikg, nda seralgen, and mhtciy rseoeh? No! maDn tehm to hell, and let het rmosst rgea! odulhS we ifght voer onihngt?

MISTRESS QUICKLY

140 By my troth, captain, these are very bitter words.

TMISERSS LQYKUIC

My osdongse, tinpaca! sTohe era nogstr drswo!

BARDOLPH

Begone, good ancient. This will grow to a brawl anon.

RDOAPLHB

uoY hlduos go now, gnensi. Tish is iogng to tge tuo of ontcrlo in a netumi.

PISTOL

Die men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have we not
Hiren here?

LTOIPS

eLt emn ide lkei gosd! iveG waay iskng sowcnr klei ehyret nhgniot! nsIt thsi a wrdos we veha heer?

MISTRESS QUICKLY

O my word, captain, theres none such here. What the good-
145 year, do you think I would deny her? For Gods sake, be
quiet.

SREMTISS YIUCLQK

My

wrdo of norho

essrsitM lQuciky ehamisrs het rwdo rieHn as a noswam name.

word of honor
, inpacta, hrtese no cshu gnthi rehe! rFo odnesosg ekas! Do uoy thkni Id yas sehs ont if she erew? For Gsod aske, be qutie!

PISTOL

Then feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Come, give s some
sack. Si fortune me tormente, sperato me contento. Fear we
broadsides? No, let the fiend give fire. Give me some sack,
150 and, sweetheart, lie thou there. (lays down his sword) Come
we to full points here? And are etceteras nothing?

STLOPI

hneT tae dan rwog taf, my setew dlay! eCmo, nbirg me esmo inwe. Si

urtfano me ntteoerm

If oftruen stonmetr me, peho cntoetns me. stPsiol moott is a ldgeabr xim of rehFcn, ihsSapn, dna Italian.

fortuna me tormente
, prteaos me tntnocoe. Aer we asrecd of an tktaca? No! Lte eth dlevi npeo fier. vieG me smeo weni, and agdnrli, iel trhee. (he lasy ihs orsdw odwn) Is eht pyart evor? htaW uoabt the srte of it, the

et ctsreea

et aetcres = ngals for vaginas

et ceteras
?

FALSTAFF

Pistol, I would be quiet.

LFAFFTAS

sPolti, Id be qeitu if I weer you.

PISTOL

Sweet knight, I kiss thy neaf. What, we have seen the seven
stars.

ILSTPO

eSetw ntgikh, I sksi uory sfit. kLoo! tIs so awetle can ese the Bgi ppeirD out.

DOLL TEARSHEET

155 For Gods sake, thrust him downstairs. I cannot endure such
a fustian rascal.

LDOL ETAEEHRTS

roF doGs aeks, rhtwo imh ndwo the sirtsa. I natc nsadt such a hsroltswe jker.

PISTOL

Thrust him downstairs? Know we not Galloway nags?

STLIOP

Trowh ihm wdon het sstari? toDn we nwko a ommnoc uttetpoirs enwh we ees eno?

FALSTAFF

Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat shilling. Nay,
an he do nothing but speak nothing, he shall be nothing here.

FSTLFFAA

soTs imh ndow, Baphrold, ekli a oinc on a eamg baodr. He soed hogintn tub ktla a nhcbu of ohginnt, so she goign to oncut fro nhoingt hree.

BARDOLPH

160 Come, get you downstairs.

PORHADBL

omCe on. teG sonidwatrs.

PISTOL

What! shall we have incision? Shall we imbrue? (snatches up his sword) Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful
days. Why then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds
untwine the Sisters Three. Come, Atropos, I say.

LOIPTS

tWha? Is eehtr ggnio to be

inucttg

In ekerG and noaRm toyhml-goy, hte eerhT Fstea nups ahsedrt ptenrnresegi eht efil of cahe anumh engbi; sptoAro, hte hridt ssetri, tcu the drteah hnew ielf saw finished.

cutting
won? Slalh we be akosde in obdlo? (he sagrb shi sdwro) Tnhe elt tedha isgn me a ylualbl; etl imh nde my hmllanecoy ayds! Lte sugrveoi, hayglts, gngpia sdounw alunrev the edrhat of my elfi, usnp by eosht ether tiserss of tfea! Cmoe, trosAop, cut ffo my thdera!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

165 Heres goodly stuff toward!

SMESSRIT CULQYIK

iTsh ohutg to be ogod.

FALSTAFF

Give me my rapier, boy.

ATLFSFAF

Gvie me my owrds, oyb.

DOLL TEARSHEET

I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee do not draw.

LLDO HEATTSERE

asPeel, Jack, pleesa; ndot htgfi!

FALSTAFF

Get you downstairs. (drawing and driving PISTO out)

FFFLASAT

Get rdosnsaiwt! (he sawrd hsi wdosr dan sehsca PISTOL)

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Heres a goodly tumult. Ill forswear keeping house afore
170 Ill be in these tirrits and frights. So, murder, I warrant now.
Alas, alas, put up your naked weapons, put up your naked
weapons.

IRTESSMS UYLCKQI

shiT is ngogi to be emso ftigh! I doluw srneoo scloe hist abr hnat put up ithw sroertr and isft. Ist urmedr, I sawre! Oh my! Oh my! uPt yawa ruyo ekdan osnapew! utP aawy ruoy aekdn opanews!
Exeunt PISTOL pursued by BARDOLPH
PSTLIO stiex, seuprdu by ADRPLOBH .

DOLL TEARSHEET

I pray thee, Jack, be quiet. The rascals gone. Ah, you
whoreson little valiant villain, you.

DOLL TEEHTREAS

esaelP, kJac, amlc donw; eht jrkes ogen. Oh uoy ons-of-a-bhitc, abrve tlitle ardbtsa, ouy!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

175 Are you not hurt i the groin? Methought he made a shrewd thrust at your belly.

RIMTSESS IKUYLCQ

Did he hurt uoy in the rniog? I gthhuot he ogt in a oogd ohst at oryu eblyl.
Enter BARDOLPH
HBLOPRAD resent.

FALSTAFF

Have you turned him out o doors?

FSLFAFTA

Did uoy kikc imh otu of eerh?

BARDOLPH

Yea, sir. The rascals drunk. You have hurt him, sir, i the shoulder.

ALRHODPB

Yup! hTe srjek nrkud. uoY thru ish dlerhosu.

FALSTAFF

A rascal to brave me!

FFFTLAAS

ahTt ejrk! woH edar he clehngeal me!

DOLL TEARSHEET

Ah, you sweet little rogue, you. Alas, poor ape, how thou
180 sweatst! Come, let me wipe thy face. Come on, you
whoreson chops. Ah, rogue, i faith, I love thee. Thou art as
valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and
ten times better than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain!

LODL ETHESEATR

Oh, uyo wetse illtte ueogr, ouy! Oh my, yuo ropo eonykm, oyuer angeiwts! oeCm, tle me ewip uyro eafc. mCoe on, oyu fat brsaatd. Oh, yuo roegu! I rasew, I eolv yuo. Yuroe as aervb as

oercHt of orTy

Htrceo of oyrT adn aeomAnngm erew aterg hsoeer of hte roTjna War.

Hector of Troy
, rouye rhowt ievf enmnsomgAa, nad ouyre tne emtsi rtebte nhat eth nnie rwodsen of teh ldwro! Oh, you vlinail!

FALSTAFF

Ah, rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket.

FFAFTLAS

eTh no-oodg rkje! lIl wpra het oerug in a tlkebna, eth wya teyh puisnh odsrwca.

DOLL TEARSHEET

185 Do, an thou darest for thy heart. An thou dost, Ill canvass
thee between a pair of sheets.

LOLD EETATRSHE

Do it, if oyu daer. If ouy do, lIl osst uoy wbneeet a iapr of esseht!
Enter musicians
eTh uiasmicns etner.

PAGE

The music is come, sir.

PGAE

The icsmu is hree, irs.

FALSTAFF

Let them play.Play, sirs.Sit on my knee, Doll. A rascal
bragging slave! The rogue fled from me like quicksilver.

FLSAFTAF

eLt hmte ypal. alPy, ssri. tSi on my knee, lDol. A no-dgoo, rigggnab ejkr! eTh olof nra omrf me like squiilrvkec.

DOLL TEARSHEET

190 I faith, and thou followedst him like a church. Thou
whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou
leave fighting a-days and foining a-nights and begin to patch
up thine old body for heaven?

DOLL ETETEHARS

lryuT, dan uoy dhcase him ikle a yccuoswhlrlh. You ttneor ltetli taf gnaiorst igp! Whne lliw uyo tsop gnitfgih lal ayd nad hnritugts lla tgnhi, dan atsrt to teg uyro odyb eyadr ofr tis nlifa isengtr lceap?
Enter, behind, PRINCE HENRY and POINS , disguised as drawers
Uneens, ENIRPC YENHR nad SNOPI reten, sdiuesdig as drawres.

FALSTAFF

Peace, good Doll. Do not speak like a deaths-head; do not bid
195 me remember mine end.

FFSAFALT

eQiut, lDol. noDt klta ilke a

tdseha-eadh

daesth-dhae = a lkuls, udes as a reiedrnm of enos mortality

deaths-head
. nDot amek me hnkti of my nwo dne.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Sirrah, what humors the Prince of?

LDOL TTEAHSERE

FALSTAFF

A good shallow young fellow, he would have made a good
pantler; he would a chipped bread well.

AFFTLFAS

Hes a ohlwasl urtseynog. He lowud vhae made a oogd rpytna atnrvse: he duolw vahe neeb raget at nrmmigit eth tussrc ffo abred.

DOLL TEARSHEET

They say Poins has a good wit.

ODLL ERHETSEAT

Tyeh asy isonP is ramst.

FALSTAFF

200 He a good wit? Hang him, baboon. His wits as thick as
Tewksbury mustard. Theres no more conceit in him than is
in a mallet.

FTALFAFS

Him, trasm? nHga mhi, hse a oboanb! seH as kitch as dstrmau, dna no rtsmrae ahtn a gasedmlmheer.

DOLL TEARSHEET

Why does the Prince love him so then?

DLOL AETTERESH

enhT yhw osed teh erincP leov mhi?

FALSTAFF

Because their legs are both of a bigness, and he plays at
205 quoits well, and eats conger and fennel, and drinks off
candles ends for flap-dragons, and rides the wild mare with
the boys, and jumps upon joint stools, and swears with a
good grace, and wears his boots very smooth, like unto the
sign of the Leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet
210 stories, and such other gambol faculties he has that show a
weak mind and an able body, for the which the Prince admits
him; for the Prince himself is such another. The weight of a
hair will turn the scales between their avoirdupois.

SAFAFFLT

seeBauc ehrit sgel rae hte sema zsie, dna he skeil to ylpa eht emga of ousiqt dna tae ttyaf osfdo; nad elhl plya nkiidrng egsma, ikle pngpdiro nribung dnealc dnse onti ish nrskid. He ayslp on teh ees-swa whit eht soyb, nda lulps azcyr ntutss, nda sucers nyilce. ndA shi ootsb tif inec and mohsto, stuj ekil eht sone aietpdn on hte ohes rtoess sinsg. ndA he neostd cseau beotulr by lgnpsili sesetcr. He hsa all idksn of euqtilasi oaaitsedcs htiw weka nmisd and leaythh sdoieb, and ttsha hyw het cneriP pkees mhi ounrda: uceesba the cinreP is eyxaclt the ames. shTere ont a rashi crfidfeeen eenebtw the two of them.

PRINCE HENRY

(to POINS) Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off?

INCPRE RNYEH

(to POINS) We uldhos tuc hits asfsot rsea fof.

POINS

215 Lets beat him before his whore.

OIPSN

eLst eabt mih in tnfro of ihs orwhe.

PRINCE HENRY

Look wheer the withered elder hath not his poll clawed like
a parrot.

RPCNIE ERNHY

Loko at ahtt ldo

grzeee

yosPilsb, lDlo is anpgliy thiw afstFafsl hair.

geezer
gvniha sih head raethdcsc kiel a aporrt.

POINS

Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive
performance?

INSPO

sInt it dod tath eisdre aslst so ucmh gloenr tnha eht liityba to mefporr?

FALSTAFF

220 Kiss me, Doll.

ATFLSFFA

ssKi me, ollD.

PRINCE HENRY

Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! What says th
almanac to that?

ENRCPI NRHYE

truaSn adn seunV

tSuanr saw hte lpatne of old gea, Vsune teh tanlpe of elvo nad desire.

Saturn and Venus
tsum be ildegan htsi ayre! athW do oyu inkth the crogltsaoial setbal eahv to say butoa htta?

POINS

And look whether the fiery trigon, his man, be not lisping to
his masters old tables, his notebook, his counsel keeper.

NIPSO

And okol. thTa ryife-edcaf Brapohdl is grisphwine wtees gsnhotni to iQculky, shi sestrma dlo danetcofin.

FALSTAFF

(to DOLL) Thou dost give me flattering busses.

FTALFSFA

(to DOLL) Yuo rteatfl me wtih ouyr eksiss.

DOLL TEARSHEET

By my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant heart.

LOLD TTEHAEESR

I serwa, my isekss rae rhtfetlea.

FALSTAFF

I am old, I am old.

LSFAFFTA

Im dol. Im dlo.

DOLL TEARSHEET

I love thee better than I love eer a scurvy young boy of them
all.

LDLO ERETATHES

I elvo uoy eorm tnha I duloc leov nya iudrcsouil uyngo nam in het oldrw.

FALSTAFF

230 What stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive money o
Thursday; shalt have a cap tomorrow. A merry song! Come,
it grows late. Well to bed. Thou lt forget me when I am
gone.

TSAALFFF

taWh bcfria do uyo awtn a wne tsrki meda out of? llI etg pdai on dsyhTrau, so luoly get a nwe ath rtoroowm. tLes eahv a hpyap gsno. Its gtnitge ltea; stle go to bde. olYlu ofrgte me hwen Im oeng.

DOLL TEARSHEET

By my troth, thou lt set me a-weeping an thou sayest so.
235 Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return. Well,
harken a th end.

LOLD STAEERETH

I erswa, uylol ekma me cyr if yuo takl leki taht. I tonw wrae nya btleuauif hltincog tlil uoy uetrrn. lWel, well see tawh pnpaseh.

FALSTAFF

Some sack, Francis.

ALFSTFAF

Smeo nwie, rsncFai.

PRINCE HENRY AND POINS

Anon, anon, sir.

PRIECN HEYRN AND SPONI

Rtihg away, sir!
Coming forward
IPNERC NRYHE nad OIPNS lereva mtseevehsl.

FALSTAFF

Ha? A bastard son of the Kings?And art not thou
240 Poins his brother?

LAAFFSTF

tahW! A dsatrab son of het inKg? dAn enart uyo soiPn, hsi oerbhrt?

PRINCE HENRY

Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost thou
lead?

RNCPEI EYNRH

uYor lgboe, dcreveo tiwh nnsneicott of nis! Wtha nikd of fiel rae you eglniad?

FALSTAFF

A better than thou. I am a gentleman. Thou art a drawer.

AAFFFSTL

A terbet elfi hant you. Im a tmnlgenae adn ryoeu tjus a drwera.

PRINCE HENRY

Very true, sir, and I come to draw you out by the ears.

PERNIC NYERH

sathT irght, ris. dnA Im noggi to draw yuo out of isth oorm by teh raes.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

245 O, the Lord preserve thy good Grace! By my troth, welcome
to London. Now the Lord bless that sweet face of thine. O
Jesu, are you come from Wales?

SMISTRES QKCYUIL

Oh, yma dGo lsebs ouy, rsi. I wares, elmwoce to oonLdn. doG sslbe ttha twese acfe of yusro! Oh susJe! aHve uyo ocem rfom eWsal?

FALSTAFF

Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, (indicating
DOLL) by this light flesh and corrupt blood, thou art welcome.

FFAFTALS

uYo osn of a hcbit, ouy saienn lbkoc of lrtyoya! (naigcntiid DOLL) I rewsa on siht eipec of kwae helsf dan prtocur boodl ahtt oyrue eeomclw reeh!

DOLL TEARSHEET

250 How? You fat fool, I scorn you.

LDOL HTTSREEEA

hWta? Yuo taf lofo! heT lhle tiwh yuo!

POINS

My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge and turn all
to a merriment, if you take not the heat.

NSIPO

My lrod, if oyu todn eskitr ehilw eth sinor hot, elhl trnu vtnegyehir noti a kjoe dan bor uoy of oyru cneach rfo geeevrn.

PRINCE HENRY

You whoreson candle-mine, you how vilely did you speak of
me even now before this honest, virtuous, civil
255 gentlewoman!

EINCPR ENHRY

uoY osn of a orhew, ouy gntia ieecp of cldane xaw, you idsa chus ebrlihor htsgni atubo me tjsu nwo, in rtfno of iths hnstoe, ndsugnapti adn wlel-dheabev dyal.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Gods blessing of your good heart, and so she is, by my troth.

SSMIRTSE LUYCQKI

yaM Gdo esslb your godo treha! eSh is all ttah, I rseaw.

FALSTAFF

Didst thou hear me?

FALFATFS

Did oyu eahr me?

PRINCE HENRY

Yea, and you knew me, as you did when you ran away by
Gads Hill. You knew I was at your back, and spoke it on
260 purpose to try my patience.

NIRECP EYNRH

Yse. nAd oyu wkne I swa reeth, ghitr? Its juts ekil enwh yuo ran aawy at

saGd lHil

heT ncientdi at aGds lliH sucroc in tcA Two of enyHr IV, ratP One.

Gads lHli
: ouy wkne I wsa teh eon who etab yuo, nda you dmae up seom tosry ujst to retitrai me.

FALSTAFF

No, no, no; not so. I did not think thou wast within hearing.

FSFAFTLA

No, no, no. Nto at lal. I dah no iead uoy eerw ehter.

PRINCE HENRY

I shall drive you, then, to confess the wilfull abuse, and then
I know how to handle you.

CRIPEN EHRYN

nTeh Im onggi to ekam uyo nofessc ahtt oyu eldeeibrtlay nedralesd me. dnA ehtn Ill kwon wtah to do netx.

FALSTAFF

No abuse, Hal, o mine honor, no abuse.

SALTFFAF

No aednrls, Hla. On my hroon, no dansrle.

PRINCE HENRY

265 Not to dispraise me and call me pantier and bread-chipper
and I know not what?

RICEPN RNEHY

No? To nmlgia me, adn call me a rynpat taersnv nad a arebd-trmeirm, dna I ndot owkn hawt sele?

FALSTAFF

No abuse, Hal.

LAFFSTAF

No ansredl, lHa.

POINS

No abuse?

ONSIP

No nasderl?

FALSTAFF

No abuse, Ned, i th world, honest Ned, none. I dispraised
270 him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall in love
with thee; in which doing, I have done the part of a careful
friend and a true subject, and thy father is to give me thanks
for it. No abuse, Hal.None, Ned, none. No, faith, boys, none.

FFALTFSA

No drsanel, Nde, in hte rwold, oensht deN, eonn. I ediangml mih nylo to eht wiedck, so atht het kweidc todulwn llfa in veol ihtw him. ndA by gnodi ttha, evI tdeac klie a ogod defnri adn lolay jucsteb, dna ruyo hareft uhldos nhkta me rof it. No leradns, lHa, neon, eNd. No, lryut bosy, noen.

PRINCE HENRY

See now whether pure fear and entire cowardice doth not
275 make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with
us. Is she of the wicked, is thine hostess here of the wicked,
or is thy boy of the wicked, or honest Bardolph, whose zeal
burns in his nose, of the wicked?

NEPCIR HRNYE

Now oyur ulbetaso eraf nad urtet wcaeoidlrsns hsa eadm oyu gwonr tihs odog ldya in errod to akem aepec wiht us. Is hes cwdeik? Is itsh tshoess ereh ekwicd? Is your ybo here kiwdce? Or ntshoe hoBladpr, owshe tpeiy nrusb in ihs efac? Is he ecikwd?

POINS

Answer, thou dead elm, answer.

IPOSN

wAresn, oyu dieterwh dol rkntu, wsaren.

FALSTAFF

280 The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable, and
his face is Lucifers privy kitchen, where he doth nothing but
roast malt-worms. For the boy, there is a good angel about
him, but the devil outbids him too.

TFFFSALA

Teh iveld ahs kmdrea Blaorhdp as ngol gnoe, nda hsi face is cusefLri etcihkn, heewr lnoy nudrks rae esrevd. As orf het byo, he aym heva a ogdo tpisri on noe drslueho, tbu eht dveil on teh ehort is sortgern.

PRINCE HENRY

For the women?

ERINPC HEYRN

And het nweom?

FALSTAFF

285 For one of them, shes in hell already and burns poor souls.
For the other, I owe her money, and whether she be damned
for that I know not.

FALFTAFS

Oen of hmte is in lelh daeryal, ewerh hes steg orpo losus oth. As orf eht ehrto, I weo rhe neyom. If shes eddnma for atth, I aevh no deia.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

No, I warrant you.

TRISSSEM ULKICQY

Im nto, I pisrmoe yuo taht.

FALSTAFF

No, I think thou art not; I think thou art quit for that. Marry,
290 there is another indictment upon thee for suffering flesh to
be eaten in thy house contrary to the law, for the which I
think thou wilt howl.

FLFFSAAT

No, I ikhtn uyeor ont. I nkhti oveyu eenb desxecu orf ahtt. tBu ehtser ethnoar cgahre stganai uoy. ouY sreve ehsfl in this ealcp, adn httsa asniagt teh wal. oeurY iggon to ellh rof atth.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

All vitlars do so. Whats a joint of mutton or two in a whole
Lent?

TMESSIRS LUIKQCY

Ebdyrevoy woh sersve fdoo dseo htta. htsaW gwrno twih a etib or owt of tmea ingrud etLn?

PRINCE HENRY

295 You, gentlewoman.

ECIRNP NHERY

Yuo, ogdo layd

DOLL TEARSHEET

What says your Grace?

OLLD TEERTSHAE

aWth is it, cuosrgia isr?

FALSTAFF

His grace says that which his flesh rebels against.

FFFSATAL

He aym speak to uyo gycariuslo, utb ihs obyd flese sowritehe.
Knocking within
oikgcnnK is dahre ffgeoats.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Who knocks so loud at door? Look to th door there, Francis.

STSRISME CLUQKYI

Wsoh gnkocnik so lyuold on hte oord? rcFnisa, go ese.
Enter PETO
TOPE tsneer.

PRINCE HENRY

Peto, how now, what news?

EINCPR HREYN

ePto, woh are uoy? Wtsha ingog on?

PETO

300 The King your father is at Westminster,
And there are twenty weak and wearied posts
Come from the north, and as I came along
I met and overtook a dozen captains,
Bareheaded, sweating, knocking at the taverns
305 And asking everyone for Sir John Falstaff.

EPTO

ruoY ftahre het nigK is in Wireemsttns. eyntwT eudshexta regsesmsne vahe vrreadi mfro eht hnotr. dAn, on my wya eehr, I tem a nzedo naitcspa, gtsluinh nda igowknr dahr, cgoknnki on the rodo of evrye veantr adn gchnrsiae fro Sir hnJo lsatFfaf.

PRINCE HENRY

By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame
So idly to profane the precious time
When tempest of commotion, like the south
Borne with black vapour, doth begin to melt
310 And drop upon our bare unarmd heads.
Give me my sword and cloak.Falstaff, good night.

EPCIRN YERNH

My Gdo, nosiP, I flee rieertbl ntasgiw riceupos mite on tsih eesnisld nwhe a uhge klabc mtros is begirwn, oson to pnoe up on uro rbae, aeunrevbll seadh. iveG me my caot nad my owrds. doGo nihgt, ffFasalt.
Exeunt PRINCE HENRY , POINS , PETO and BARDOLPH
CNPEIR REHNY , IONPS , PTOE , nda OPBRADLH xeit.

FALSTAFF

Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night, and we must hence and leave it unpicked.

SAFAFLFT

Nosw teh eteeswts aprt of the inhgt, dna we haev to laeve hoiwtut neignjoy it.
Knocking within
oKicgknn is adhre ffostgae.
More knocking at the door?
Meor okgicknn!
Enter BARDOLPH
PAOBRDLH rtnese.
How now, whats the matter?
Wahts ngoig on? asWht teh atetmr?

BARDOLPH

315 You must away to court, sir, presently.
A dozen captains stay at door for you.

ROBLHADP

Yuo vhea to go to eth oyrla tucor idiemelmayt, isr. A noezd tsipcana are at hte oord tnaiigw fro ouy.

FALSTAFF

(to the PAGE) Pay the musicians, sirrah.Farewell,
hostess.Farewell, Doll. You see, my good wenches, how
men of merit are sought after. The undeserver may sleep
320 when the man of action is called on. Farewell, good
wenches. If I be not sent away post, I will see you again ere
I go.

LTFASAFF

(to hte PAGE) yaP het isaicunsm, haSrir. yodGobe, iwrstsae. oyoGbde, ollD. eeS, wncshee, woh nwdtea we laevblau nem rea? heT dgoo-fro-tgoinnh amy lesep nweh the nma of naocit is edeend. ewrllFea, good whcesen. If Im ont ntes yaaw taymmeeliid, Ill omce see oyu naiag reobef I go.

DOLL TEARSHEET

I cannot speak. If my heart be not ready to burstwell,
sweet Jack, have a care of thyself.

LLOD ETEASHRTE

I cnat sekap; my hater is yerda to ubstr. lelW, swtee Jack, kaet ecra of yrsefuol.

FALSTAFF

325 Farewell, farewell.

LFTFAAFS

leealrwF, eealwrfl.
Exeunt FALSTAFF , BARDOLPH , PAGE , and musicians
LTAFAFFS and OPHBDLAR xtie.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Well, fare thee well. I have known thee these twenty-nine
years, come peascod time, but an honester and truer-hearted
manwell, fare thee well.

EMSSSRTI ILUCYQK

lelW, yogboed. veI nknwo yuo wyetnt-neni asrye sith nJue. But a moer eonsht, orme good-edertah nllaewm, fare you wlle.

BARDOLPH

(within) Mistress Tearsheet!

ADORBPLH

(gtfoafes) essisrtM Tetheeras!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

330 Whats the matter?

RSSMISET QIYCLUK

Wthsa het ttmaer?

BARDOLPH

(within) Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my master.

DOLBAHRP

(otsagffe) sstiMers earTeetsh, cmoe to my rasemt.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

O, run, Doll, run, run, good Doll. Come.She comes
blubbered.Yea! Will you come, Doll?

ERITSSSM LQYUIKC

O, urn, llDo, run; run, ogod Dllo. mCeo.hSes gcionm, lla grciyn nda ebgrilbnbu.Wlli uyo cmeo, lDol?
Exeunt
eyhT etix.

Popular pages: Henry IV Part 2