No Fear Shakespeare: Henry IV Part 2: Act 2 Scene 4

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Original Text	Modern Text
Enter two DRAWERS	woT WRDSRAE etern.
FRANCIS What the devil hast thou brought thereapplejohns? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an applejohn.	FSCIARN aWht hte lleh aveh ouy otg eethr? plepA sonjh lpape hjons = a ytvriae of plaep, aenet ecno eth rtuif is shriveled Apple johns? ouY onkw irS Jhon ntac astdn laepp jhnos.
SECOND DRAWER Mass, thou sayest true. The Prince once set a dish of applejohns before him and told him there were five more Sir 5 Johns and, putting off his hat, said I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, withered knights. It angered him to the heart. But he hath forgot that.	SOECND REAWDR anmD, uyoer hrtig. One ayd het ecnPri utp a teapl of pelap-hnsoj in rtofn of tfsaFalf nda dsia, rHee aer fvie omre iSr hnsoJ. enTh hte ncerPi took ffo shi tah dna sdai, Im own oigng to ibd farewell to eseth isx yrd, druon, ldo, ethdiwer sgnikth. It greaend iSr hJno eleydp, but he tgo rove it.
FRANCIS Why then, cover, and set them down, and see if thou canst find out Sneaks noise. Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear 10 some music.	ARCNFSI lelW hnte, utp hte ebatl oclht on adn set eth sdih dnwo. Go ees if uyo anc dfni kensSa danb of amcsisniu. sssMrtie eTeertahs nwsat to rahe mose cimus.
Enter THIRD DRAWER	nEetr RDTHI DRAERW
THIRD DRAWER Dispatch: the room where they supped is too hot. Theyll come in straight.	RDHIT ERRDWA Hruyr! eTh omro yhet aet in asw oto toh, dna leyhtl be eehr ayn niuemt.
FRANCIS Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons, and Sir John 15 must not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.	NFSCRAI hSrari, hte iPcnre dna oiPns lwil be rehe soon. rhyTee ggion to utp on a upecol of our jekatcs dna rsapno. rSi hoJn atcn nwko its etmh. drlBpaho maec nad oltd me.
THIRD DRAWER By the Mass, here will be old utis. It will be an excellent stratagem.	IDTHR RWREAD elWl, shetre gongi to be tyilrahi ereh! Waht a aetgr heecms!
SECOND DRAWER Ill see if I can find out Sneak.	SCDNEO RRWDEA Ill see if I acn fndi enkSa.
FRANCIS and THE DRAWERS exit	heT RDAERSW etix.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY and DOLL TEARSHEET	SSSIRTEM ICQKULY dna OLDL RATESEHTE reent.
MISTRESS QUICKLY I faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an excellent 20 good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good truth, la. But, i faith, you have drunk too much canaries, and thats a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can say Whats this? 25 How do you now?	EMSISRTS UYCIQKL I wrase, hertaeetws, uyo msee to be in a atger telmoyaritp eylattpomri = temper temporality. uoYr gieldpsu edpilgus = pulse pulsidge is binagte as oyltrgsn as yuo odclu want, nda oruy lcoor is as rde as a rseo; tylur! tBu ruoisysel, I do ithnk uoyve krnad too hcmu of atth eetsw eniw from het arynaC Idsintslas a ygtihm foleupwr nikrd, adn ltil egt otin yuro oodbl fersat hnta uoy cna asy, hstWa shti? How aer you filgnee now?
DOLL TEARSHEET Better than I was. Hem.	OLLD EETAETHRS eeBttr nhta I asw ebfroe. (she ucsgoh or ebsechl)
MISTRESS QUICKLY Why, thats well said. A good hearts worth gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.	RSTISESM QCYILUK elWl sdai! A yhhtlae ehrat is torwh tsi igehwt in ogdl. kooL, ehre emocs Sir John.
Enter FALSTAFF	LFTFAFAS teesrn.
FALSTAFF (sings) When Arthur first in courtEmpty the jordan. (sings) And was a worthy kingHow now, Mistress Doll?	LSFFTAAF (nigsgni) Whne uthArr trfis in ubtsomycdeoro epmty het cbaerhm top! dAn aws a ytwhro kgni hTe yilcsr are mfro a olappur dllaba of het etim, Sri oaetlcLn du Lake. When Arthur sritf in tcodosmoyrueb yeptm het habercm tpo! Adn asw a thowry kinghow are oyu, eMirssts lolD?
MISTRESS QUICKLY Sick of a calm, yea, good faith.	STIMESRS YKLQIUC Sesh icsk of a qmula lmqau = usneaa, or a nianitfg spell qualm, hse is.
FALSTAFF So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm, they are sick.	FSTLAFFA hTtas ohw all eht omwne in her oioprssfen ear. As onso as rtehye ncaladm ont in messneoo ehebytd gte kcsi.
DOLL TEARSHEET A pox damn you, muddy rascal. Is that all the comfort you give me?	ODLL ATHTRSEEE ouY iudtsp rsdabta. Is tihs hwo uyo akme me feel retteb?
FALSTAFF 35 You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.	FTFLFASA ouY mkea tfa adsatbrs, sMristes Doll.
DOLL TEARSHEET I make them? Gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.	OLDL HTTAESREE I amek mhte taf? ynoulGtt nad desiesa iwll kema men aft; I ahev onihtgn to do hwti it.
FALSTAFF If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, Doll, we catch of you. Grant 40 that, my poor virtue, grant that.	AALSTFFF eWll, ksooc pleh traeec lotntugy, by nmiakg dan lsligne fohoted cebjto of lttonugy. dnA ouy ephl atrcee essdeais, ollD. We chatc meht fomr you, Doll, we cathc hmte ofmr you: mdait it.
DOLL TEARSHEET Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.	OLDL EEHTRETSA Seur, eetrhsteaw. oYu ccaht us by the ihascn nad the jelews, and ethn you aeslt ethm rmof us.
FALSTAFF Your broaches, pearls, and ouchesfor to serve bravely is to come halting off, you know; to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely, to venture upon 45 the charged chambers bravely	FFALFSAT oYru cbhorsoe, palesr, adn emsg iThs tmghi be a line frmo a labadl. eshOcu, in hte irnaoilg aakeSsherenpa lein, mntea boht mge, orobhc, or kbluec dan eors. tfsflaFa koesj that het esjlwe emn gte rfom Dlol aer teh orsse of a aenrevel eeiadss. brooches, rsaelp, nad gemsWe htgfi rybalve nad tnhe ocem yaaw mgilpin. We reattre rmfo hte earbch in hte allw wthi ruo owpesna alyrvbe tben. We head fof to het octodr, lbyvaer. Adn htne we grecah onti eht eadodl sbcaemhr satfaFlf edbcsresi a uobt of naeevrle disease as a iitmayrl battle. loaded aecrhbms gnaai, aevyrbl.
DOLL TEARSHEET Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!	ODLL ESHETARTE orpD dead, uoy yflhit ele. oprD adde!
MISTRESS QUICKLY By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two never meet but you fall to some discord. You are both, i good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts. You cannot one bear with 50 anothers confirmities. What the good-year! One must bear, and that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel.	SSMRISET YUCQILK I ewars In hSsaeerekpas nile, ssetisMr iyculkQ ilatkemsyn sesu mcearhuit rfo clhricoe (i.e., errtbilia) dna ntmrfiesioci orf infirmities. swear, hist is woh it alaswy is. oYu tow neev ese ahec terho ituwhto fitgngih. oreYu as tho as yrd satto, uoy natc tsnad hcea reohst adb itlsaiueq. oodG gfrie! tuB noe of ouy sha to abre teh rnbdeu, nda satth uyo, loDl. Youre het eekwar sxe, the ptyme elevss.
DOLL TEARSHEET Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? Theres a whole merchants venture of Bourdeaux stuff in 55 him. You have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold. ome, Ill be friends with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the	DLOL AEHTSETER nCa a kewa, pmety lsvees bera hte uberdn of scuh a hueg, llfu ebrlar? resTeh a whoel anmterchs ktosc of Bdxaouer enwi in mih; oeyuv eernv nees a pish thiw a llreuf rogca odlh. oCem, kJac, Ill be risnfde tiwh
wars, and whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is nobody cares.	uyo. oeYru ggoni off to wra, dan ehthewr or nto I eevr see oyu lgwaeinal, who sarec.
Enter FIRST DRAWER	ehT RFTIS EDWRRA arewrds = tesoh how rvese insrkd in a tavern DRAWER ertsne.
FIRST DRAWER Sir, Ancient Pistols below and would speak with 60 you.	ITRFS RREWAD Sir, nnisEg iPsltos watinssdor. He anwst to altk ihwt yuo.
DOLL TEARSHEET Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come hither. It is the foul-mouthedst rogue in England.	LLDO TEEAEHSTR Let ihm pdro daed, tath oht-meedetrp kjer! ntoD let hmi in: hes ogt hte tsfleuo omuht in nndaglE.
MISTRESS QUICKLY If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by my faith, I must live among my neighbors. Ill no swaggerers: I am in good 65 name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There comes no swaggerers here. I have not lived all this while to have swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.	RMEISSTS IKUQYCL If she oingg to make rboeult, otnd tle mhi in. No awy; I eahv my seirhnobg to nkthi tobau. Ill eahv no eemsoalrtkubr heer. Ive tog my ogod ietutnapor to acwht out for. uSth het roosd; no urebosaltemrk rea tngiget in reeh. I tvhnea evdil ihts nglo to vaeh telruob now. htuS the odors, epasel.
FALSTAFF Dost thou hear, hostess?	LASTFFFA Do you hrae, ohstess?
MISTRESS QUICKLY Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There comes no swaggerers 70 here.	RMTSESIS QILUKYC saPlee, be tique a odscne, rSi Jonh. No rekmrobseatlu rae ongicm in rehe.
FALSTAFF Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.	FSALFATF dDint uoy hrea? Its my sgenni.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Tilly-vally, Sir John, neer tell me. And your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick, the debuty t other day, and, as he said to metwas 75 no longer ago than Wednesday last, i good faith Neighbour Quickly, says heMaster Dumb, our minister, was by thenNeighbour Quickly, says he, receive those that are civil, for, said he, you are in an ill name. Now he said so, I can tell whereupon. For, says he, you are an 80 honest woman, and well thought on. Therefore take heed what guests you receive. Receive, says he, no swaggering	SSSMTEIR LKUYICQ Oh eskifidlsdtc, Sri hnJo, I odtn atwn to hera it. ruoY Ensgin euremTkblora is not micnog in erhe. I dkealt to rMtesa sikciT, eht dpyetu, eth hoter day. nAd he dsia to mtei tcndulo eavh ebne onelrg ago tanh lsta eaysIWnded rwaes, hnbeoirg Qlkyuci, he sida. (tMsera mubDe, eth niisremt, asw reeh at hte mtei.) oebgirNh cuylikQ, he dsai, onyl tel in peoepl hwo are elwl bhvedea, aecubse, he dsai, yoru oiraentput is rfufesing. He idas htta, dna lIl eltl yuo yhw. orueY an oshnte omnaw, and eoplep tihkn hlighy of
companions. There comes none here. You would bless you to hear what he said. No, Ill no swaggerers.	uoy. So iknth tbauo owh uyo lte in. Dnot tel in, he dsai, nya obkrrsuaetelm. ndA neon are egigttn in. duoY be ukcly if uyo redah awth he idas. No ywa, no ltumeoarrksbe.
FALSTAFF Hes no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i faith. You may 85 stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound. Hell not swagger with a Barbary hen if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.Call him up, drawer.	SFAFTLAF Hse not a rmoktualreeb, sshseot. Hse a sharesml htrecea; yuo nac tpe mhi like a ttliel upypp. He tdnulwo neve tsart a tihgf wthi a ngeuia-nhe, if her eesfatrh oodst up in acyneanno. tGe ihm up rehe, arderw.
Exit FIRST DRAWER	IRFTS AREDRW tesix.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man my house, nor no cheater, but I do not love swaggering. By my troth, 90 I am the worse when one says swagger. Feel, masters, how I shake; look you, I warrant you.	ISERSMST KCYLUQI You lcla ihm a hcterea essritsM clkyiQu dsaenudstsnmri arhtcee as scroeteha, a ptey of lyrao ursyetra officer. aectehr? I town kepe an stoneh mna uto of hist arb, so I notw epek a cheater out, treehi. tuB I otdn ielk rksaeuorltbem, I wrsae. I tge scik nehw I earh the odwr, aoekmlurrbte. leeF, teramss: Im gnishak. oLko, Im lniltge you.
DOLL TEARSHEET So you do, hostess.	DLOL RETHATEES ouY rae gkahnsi.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Do I? Yea, in very truth, do I, an twere an aspen leaf. I cannot abide swaggerers.	SSRSMTIE IQYKLCU I am?I am! I raswe, Im hganski leik a big eert flae. I nact adtns olrbesukmraet.
Enter PISTOL , BARDOLPH , and the PAGE	OTLISP , RHBPOLDA , dna teh EGAP ertne.
PISTOL 95 God save you, Sir John.	OSIPLT odGo to see uyo, Sir ohJn!
FALSTAFF Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you with a cup of sack. Do you discharge upon mine hostess.	TFAAFLFS clemeoW, ngnEis oltisP. reeH, sltioP Fastffal searhgc, or assott tPoisl, dna assk hmi to otsat Messtsir ckyQlui in unerrt. A tsiopl is also raedghc, or eddloa, htiw stllbue, nad geasdidrhc whne it is fired. Pistol. I hraceg yuo iwth a gsals of wnei. wNo srdgaihce on the oshtess.
PISTOL I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two bullets.	TLSPIO llI ldouna two ibg lbletus lseblut = testicles bullets on her, iSr oJhn.
FALSTAFF She is pistol-proof. Sir, you shall not hardly offend her.	LSFAFAFT hseS sPtoli-orfop, sir. uYlol dahlry be elab to jurnei erh.
MISTRESS QUICKLY 100 Come, Ill drink no proofs nor no bullets. Ill drink no more than will do me good, for no mans pleasure, I.	TEISMSRS IUKQCYL I tnow eahv nay rsopfo or yna usllteb. I ntwo kirnd nya emor nhta I fele elik, not for yan nma.
PISTOL Then to you, Mistress Dorothy! I will charge you.	LPISTO nehT heers to you, tiMssers. orDhyot, lIl ragceh ouy.
DOLL TEARSHEET Charge me! I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy 105 rogue, away! I am meat for your master.	DLOL EHTERSETA Cehgar me? tGe olts, uoy sikc jrke. athW? You eokbr, rdeu, cgsmihne, ctaghine, ssehltris oflo! Get ayaw rfmo me, yuo ylodm tbadars, yawa! Im meatn rof uyor ertstbe.
PISTOL I know you, Mistress Dorothy.	SIPTOL I nowk you, rMeissst rtyhoDo.
DOLL TEARSHEET Away, you cutpurse rascal, you filthy bung, away! By this wine, Ill thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal, you 110 basket-hilt stale juggler, you. Since when, I pray you, sir? Gods light, with two points on your shoulder? Much!	LLDO TRATHESEE tGe waay, yuo pkcoteicpk lcasra! uYo irdyt tfieh, ayaw! I sraew on tish wien, lIl stkci a ifnek in ryuo entrto eskhce if oyu pkee isbugna me eikl tshi. Otu, uyo zoyob slarac! ouY rstmpeoi of a roedsil! cienS enhw era ouy a ldeorsi, I ska uoy? tihW tow ormar gtas on ouyr ledusrho? Im resu!
PISTOL God let me not live, but I will murder your ruff for this.	OTPLSI lIl rtsglean uory nkce rfo ttha, or lIl ied gtniyr.
FALSTAFF No more, Pistol. I would not have you go off here. Discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.	SLTFAFFA dloH it, oliPts. I dnto nwat yuo to go fof rehe. shDgeraic locaspmee seel, soiPtl.
MISTRESS QUICKLY 115 No, good Captain Pistol, not here, sweet captain.	RSESMSIT LYCKUIQ No, odog iaanpCt oilPst. Not eerh, ewste tpaiacn.
DOLL TEARSHEET Captain? Thou abominable damned cheater, art thou not ashamed to be called captain? An captains were of my mind, they would truncheon you out for taking their names upon you before you have earned them. You a captain? You slave,	ODLL HEEAETTRS nptCiaa? uYo riobrleh, dmnead rali, tnrea uoy hameasd to be daellc naacpti? If tainpsac shedar my nisnioop, ehtyd beat yuo orf ngtkai itehr nrak thutowi innegar it. uYo, a panacti? Yuo rastabd, rfo hwat? Fro
120 for what? For tearing a poor whores ruff in a bawdy house? He a captain! Hang him, rogue. He lives upon mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A captain? Gods light, these villains will make the word as odious as the word occupy, which was an excellent good word before it was ill sorted. 125 Therefore captains had need look to t.	natirge a orop wrsoeh soctleh in a reooswheuh? mHi, a atpianc? etL hmi rpdo edad, eth groeu! He vslei fof eht yomdl odof oyu ifdn in telhsobr. A aipntac? oFr Gods eska! eMn elik imh lilw emka hte rodw pniaatc as yants as the dorw opyucc, ccpoyu = slnga rfo copulate occupy, hwihc wsa a fien word rfeeob it ogt urtrdpeoc. stnCapai had etebtr hwcta uot.
BARDOLPH Pray thee go down, good ancient.	DBPHROLA aePsel, acml owdn, ogod esnngi.
FALSTAFF Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.	FAAFFTSL itnesL reeh, esMrsits lolD.
PISTOL Not I. I tell thee what, Corporal Bardolph, I could tear her. Ill be revenged of her.	SITPOL Not me. lIl tlel oyu twha, rooralpC Bodaphrl, I ludoc atre rhe. lIl tge nevrege on reh.
PAGE 130 Pray thee go down.	EGPA slPeae, macl nodw!
PISTOL Ill see her damned first to Plutos damnd lake, by this hand, to th infernal deep with Erebus and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I. Down, down, dogs! Down, Fates! Have we not Hiren here?	SLTIPO lIl ese rhe nemdda stirf. To hte etrasw of ehll, I sewar, to het ndlsese eedp, wiht chaso adn live teousrtr. ldHo tnoo taht elop, I yas. wDon, wdno, gosd! Down, eafst! Heesr my roswd!
MISTRESS QUICKLY 135 Good Captain Peesell, be quiet. Tis very late, i faith. I beseek you now, aggravate your choler.	RSEMSTSI LCUQKIY tnaipaC sriPse, be iutqe! Its atel. I egb of yuo, ptos nbgei ygarn!
PISTOL These be good humors indeed. Shall pack-horses And hollow pampered jades of Asia, which cannot go but thirty mile a day, Compare with Caesars and with cannibals, and Troyant Greeks? Nay, rather damn them with King Cerberus, and let the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys?	LSOITP Now erwe nilagkt! Are we niggo to tle dol sgna Frmo here niult he exits, tolsisP aegulgan is agrnest nda tdegiehenh. He cyuitalnlon mkaes draelbg ersefrnece to sliaccsla spaly dna opesm tath oluwd haev neeb irlamfia to rseShakpesea audience. nags dna pmdpeera rsesoh (hwo actn aanegm roem hant a ewf milse a day) be caomdrpe iwht nsikg, nda seralgen, and mhtciy rseoeh? No! maDn tehm to hell, and let het rmosst rgea! odulhS we ifght voer onihngt?
MISTRESS QUICKLY 140 By my troth, captain, these are very bitter words.	TMISERSS LQYKUIC My osdongse, tinpaca! sTohe era nogstr drswo!
BARDOLPH Begone, good ancient. This will grow to a brawl anon.	RDOAPLHB uoY hlduos go now, gnensi. Tish is iogng to tge tuo of ontcrlo in a netumi.
PISTOL Die men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have we not Hiren here?	LTOIPS eLt emn ide lkei gosd! iveG waay iskng sowcnr klei ehyret nhgniot! nsIt thsi a wrdos we veha heer?
MISTRESS QUICKLY O my word, captain, theres none such here. What the good- 145 year, do you think I would deny her? For Gods sake, be quiet.	SREMTISS YIUCLQK My wrdo of norho essrsitM lQuciky ehamisrs het rwdo rieHn as a noswam name. word of honor, inpacta, hrtese no cshu gnthi rehe! rFo odnesosg ekas! Do uoy thkni Id yas sehs ont if she erew? For Gsod aske, be qutie!
PISTOL Then feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Come, give s some sack. Si fortune me tormente, sperato me contento. Fear we broadsides? No, let the fiend give fire. Give me some sack, 150 and, sweetheart, lie thou there. (lays down his sword) Come we to full points here? And are etceteras nothing?	STLOPI hneT tae dan rwog taf, my setew dlay! eCmo, nbirg me esmo inwe. Si urtfano me ntteoerm If oftruen stonmetr me, peho cntoetns me. stPsiol moott is a ldgeabr xim of rehFcn, ihsSapn, dna Italian. fortuna me tormente, prteaos me tntnocoe. Aer we asrecd of an tktaca? No! Lte eth dlevi npeo fier. vieG me smeo weni, and agdnrli, iel trhee. (he lasy ihs orsdw odwn) Is eht pyart evor? htaW uoabt the srte of it, the et ctsreea et aetcres = ngals for vaginas et ceteras?
FALSTAFF Pistol, I would be quiet.	LFAFFTAS sPolti, Id be qeitu if I weer you.
PISTOL Sweet knight, I kiss thy neaf. What, we have seen the seven stars.	ILSTPO eSetw ntgikh, I sksi uory sfit. kLoo! tIs so awetle can ese the Bgi ppeirD out.
DOLL TEARSHEET 155 For Gods sake, thrust him downstairs. I cannot endure such a fustian rascal.	LDOL ETAEEHRTS roF doGs aeks, rhtwo imh ndwo the sirtsa. I natc nsadt such a hsroltswe jker.
PISTOL Thrust him downstairs? Know we not Galloway nags?	STLIOP Trowh ihm wdon het sstari? toDn we nwko a ommnoc uttetpoirs enwh we ees eno?
FALSTAFF Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat shilling. Nay, an he do nothing but speak nothing, he shall be nothing here.	FSTLFFAA soTs imh ndow, Baphrold, ekli a oinc on a eamg baodr. He soed hogintn tub ktla a nhcbu of ohginnt, so she goign to oncut fro nhoingt hree.
BARDOLPH 160 Come, get you downstairs.	PORHADBL omCe on. teG sonidwatrs.
PISTOL What! shall we have incision? Shall we imbrue? (snatches up his sword) Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days. Why then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds untwine the Sisters Three. Come, Atropos, I say.	LOIPTS tWha? Is eehtr ggnio to be inucttg In ekerG and noaRm toyhml-goy, hte eerhT Fstea nups ahsedrt ptenrnresegi eht efil of cahe anumh engbi; sptoAro, hte hridt ssetri, tcu the drteah hnew ielf saw finished. cutting won? Slalh we be akosde in obdlo? (he sagrb shi sdwro) Tnhe elt tedha isgn me a ylualbl; etl imh nde my hmllanecoy ayds! Lte sugrveoi, hayglts, gngpia sdounw alunrev the edrhat of my elfi, usnp by eosht ether tiserss of tfea! Cmoe, trosAop, cut ffo my thdera!
MISTRESS QUICKLY 165 Heres goodly stuff toward!	SMESSRIT CULQYIK iTsh ohutg to be ogod.
FALSTAFF Give me my rapier, boy.	ATLFSFAF Gvie me my owrds, oyb.
DOLL TEARSHEET I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee do not draw.	LLDO HEATTSERE asPeel, Jack, pleesa; ndot htgfi!
FALSTAFF Get you downstairs. (drawing and driving PISTO out)	FFFLASAT Get rdosnsaiwt! (he sawrd hsi wdosr dan sehsca PISTOL)
MISTRESS QUICKLY Heres a goodly tumult. Ill forswear keeping house afore 170 Ill be in these tirrits and frights. So, murder, I warrant now. Alas, alas, put up your naked weapons, put up your naked weapons.	IRTESSMS UYLCKQI shiT is ngogi to be emso ftigh! I doluw srneoo scloe hist abr hnat put up ithw sroertr and isft. Ist urmedr, I sawre! Oh my! Oh my! uPt yawa ruyo ekdan osnapew! utP aawy ruoy aekdn opanews!
Exeunt PISTOL pursued by BARDOLPH	PSTLIO stiex, seuprdu by ADRPLOBH .
DOLL TEARSHEET I pray thee, Jack, be quiet. The rascals gone. Ah, you whoreson little valiant villain, you.	DOLL TEEHTREAS esaelP, kJac, amlc donw; eht jrkes ogen. Oh uoy ons-of-a-bhitc, abrve tlitle ardbtsa, ouy!
MISTRESS QUICKLY 175 Are you not hurt i the groin? Methought he made a shrewd thrust at your belly.	RIMTSESS IKUYLCQ Did he hurt uoy in the rniog? I gthhuot he ogt in a oogd ohst at oryu eblyl.
Enter BARDOLPH	HBLOPRAD resent.
FALSTAFF Have you turned him out o doors?	FSLFAFTA Did uoy kikc imh otu of eerh?
BARDOLPH Yea, sir. The rascals drunk. You have hurt him, sir, i the shoulder.	ALRHODPB Yup! hTe srjek nrkud. uoY thru ish dlerhosu.
FALSTAFF A rascal to brave me!	FFFTLAAS ahTt ejrk! woH edar he clehngeal me!
DOLL TEARSHEET Ah, you sweet little rogue, you. Alas, poor ape, how thou 180 sweatst! Come, let me wipe thy face. Come on, you whoreson chops. Ah, rogue, i faith, I love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain!	LODL ETHESEATR Oh, uyo wetse illtte ueogr, ouy! Oh my, yuo ropo eonykm, oyuer angeiwts! oeCm, tle me ewip uyro eafc. mCoe on, oyu fat brsaatd. Oh, yuo roegu! I rasew, I eolv yuo. Yuroe as aervb as oercHt of orTy Htrceo of oyrT adn aeomAnngm erew aterg hsoeer of hte roTjna War. Hector of Troy, rouye rhowt ievf enmnsomgAa, nad ouyre tne emtsi rtebte nhat eth nnie rwodsen of teh ldwro! Oh, you vlinail!
FALSTAFF Ah, rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket.	FFAFTLAS eTh no-oodg rkje! lIl wpra het oerug in a tlkebna, eth wya teyh puisnh odsrwca.
DOLL TEARSHEET 185 Do, an thou darest for thy heart. An thou dost, Ill canvass thee between a pair of sheets.	LOLD EETATRSHE Do it, if oyu daer. If ouy do, lIl osst uoy wbneeet a iapr of esseht!
Enter musicians	eTh uiasmicns etner.
PAGE The music is come, sir.	PGAE The icsmu is hree, irs.
FALSTAFF Let them play.Play, sirs.Sit on my knee, Doll. A rascal bragging slave! The rogue fled from me like quicksilver.	FLSAFTAF eLt hmte ypal. alPy, ssri. tSi on my knee, lDol. A no-dgoo, rigggnab ejkr! eTh olof nra omrf me like squiilrvkec.
DOLL TEARSHEET 190 I faith, and thou followedst him like a church. Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou leave fighting a-days and foining a-nights and begin to patch up thine old body for heaven?	DOLL ETETEHARS lryuT, dan uoy dhcase him ikle a yccuoswhlrlh. You ttneor ltetli taf gnaiorst igp! Whne lliw uyo tsop gnitfgih lal ayd nad hnritugts lla tgnhi, dan atsrt to teg uyro odyb eyadr ofr tis nlifa isengtr lceap?
Enter, behind, PRINCE HENRY and POINS , disguised as drawers	Uneens, ENIRPC YENHR nad SNOPI reten, sdiuesdig as drawres.
FALSTAFF Peace, good Doll. Do not speak like a deaths-head; do not bid 195 me remember mine end.	FFSAFALT eQiut, lDol. noDt klta ilke a tdseha-eadh daesth-dhae = a lkuls, udes as a reiedrnm of enos mortality deaths-head. nDot amek me hnkti of my nwo dne.
DOLL TEARSHEET Sirrah, what humors the Prince of?	LDOL TTEAHSERE hrairS, wtahs eht cenriP cotrrsiDe mstu decied if Dlol sees alH nda nsPio nad tess tafsafFl up, or if hes tensod see emth and ppshaen to sak eeths ntusosiqe innocently. Prince eilk?
FALSTAFF A good shallow young fellow, he would have made a good pantler; he would a chipped bread well.	AFFTLFAS Hes a ohlwasl urtseynog. He lowud vhae made a oogd rpytna atnrvse: he duolw vahe neeb raget at nrmmigit eth tussrc ffo abred.
DOLL TEARSHEET They say Poins has a good wit.	ODLL ERHETSEAT Tyeh asy isonP is ramst.
FALSTAFF 200 He a good wit? Hang him, baboon. His wits as thick as Tewksbury mustard. Theres no more conceit in him than is in a mallet.	FTALFAFS Him, trasm? nHga mhi, hse a oboanb! seH as kitch as dstrmau, dna no rtsmrae ahtn a gasedmlmheer.
DOLL TEARSHEET Why does the Prince love him so then?	DLOL AETTERESH enhT yhw osed teh erincP leov mhi?
FALSTAFF Because their legs are both of a bigness, and he plays at 205 quoits well, and eats conger and fennel, and drinks off candles ends for flap-dragons, and rides the wild mare with the boys, and jumps upon joint stools, and swears with a good grace, and wears his boots very smooth, like unto the sign of the Leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet 210 stories, and such other gambol faculties he has that show a weak mind and an able body, for the which the Prince admits him; for the Prince himself is such another. The weight of a hair will turn the scales between their avoirdupois.	SAFAFFLT seeBauc ehrit sgel rae hte sema zsie, dna he skeil to ylpa eht emga of ousiqt dna tae ttyaf osfdo; nad elhl plya nkiidrng egsma, ikle pngpdiro nribung dnealc dnse onti ish nrskid. He ayslp on teh ees-swa whit eht soyb, nda lulps azcyr ntutss, nda sucers nyilce. ndA shi ootsb tif inec and mohsto, stuj ekil eht sone aietpdn on hte ohes rtoess sinsg. ndA he neostd cseau beotulr by lgnpsili sesetcr. He hsa all idksn of euqtilasi oaaitsedcs htiw weka nmisd and leaythh sdoieb, and ttsha hyw het cneriP pkees mhi ounrda: uceesba the cinreP is eyxaclt the ames. shTere ont a rashi crfidfeeen eenebtw the two of them.
PRINCE HENRY (to POINS) Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off?	INCPRE RNYEH (to POINS) We uldhos tuc hits asfsot rsea fof.
POINS 215 Lets beat him before his whore.	OIPSN eLst eabt mih in tnfro of ihs orwhe.
PRINCE HENRY Look wheer the withered elder hath not his poll clawed like a parrot.	RPCNIE ERNHY Loko at ahtt ldo grzeee yosPilsb, lDlo is anpgliy thiw afstFafsl hair. geezer gvniha sih head raethdcsc kiel a aporrt.
POINS Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance?	INSPO sInt it dod tath eisdre aslst so ucmh gloenr tnha eht liityba to mefporr?
FALSTAFF 220 Kiss me, Doll.	ATFLSFFA ssKi me, ollD.
PRINCE HENRY Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! What says th almanac to that?	ENRCPI NRHYE truaSn adn seunV tSuanr saw hte lpatne of old gea, Vsune teh tanlpe of elvo nad desire. Saturn and Venus tsum be ildegan htsi ayre! athW do oyu inkth the crogltsaoial setbal eahv to say butoa htta?
POINS And look whether the fiery trigon, his man, be not lisping to his masters old tables, his notebook, his counsel keeper.	NIPSO And okol. thTa ryife-edcaf Brapohdl is grisphwine wtees gsnhotni to iQculky, shi sestrma dlo danetcofin.
FALSTAFF (to DOLL) Thou dost give me flattering busses.	FTALFSFA (to DOLL) Yuo rteatfl me wtih ouyr eksiss.
DOLL TEARSHEET By my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant heart.	LOLD TTEHAEESR I serwa, my isekss rae rhtfetlea.
FALSTAFF I am old, I am old.	LSFAFFTA Im dol. Im dlo.
DOLL TEARSHEET I love thee better than I love eer a scurvy young boy of them all.	LDLO ERETATHES I elvo uoy eorm tnha I duloc leov nya iudrcsouil uyngo nam in het oldrw.
FALSTAFF 230 What stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive money o Thursday; shalt have a cap tomorrow. A merry song! Come, it grows late. Well to bed. Thou lt forget me when I am gone.	TSAALFFF taWh bcfria do uyo awtn a wne tsrki meda out of? llI etg pdai on dsyhTrau, so luoly get a nwe ath rtoroowm. tLes eahv a hpyap gsno. Its gtnitge ltea; stle go to bde. olYlu ofrgte me hwen Im oeng.
DOLL TEARSHEET By my troth, thou lt set me a-weeping an thou sayest so. 235 Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return. Well, harken a th end.	LOLD STAEERETH I erswa, uylol ekma me cyr if yuo takl leki taht. I tonw wrae nya btleuauif hltincog tlil uoy uetrrn. lWel, well see tawh pnpaseh.
FALSTAFF Some sack, Francis.	ALFSTFAF Smeo nwie, rsncFai.
PRINCE HENRY AND POINS Anon, anon, sir.	PRIECN HEYRN AND SPONI Rtihg away, sir!
Coming forward	IPNERC NRYHE nad OIPNS lereva mtseevehsl.
FALSTAFF Ha? A bastard son of the Kings?And art not thou 240 Poins his brother?	LAAFFSTF tahW! A dsatrab son of het inKg? dAn enart uyo soiPn, hsi oerbhrt?
PRINCE HENRY Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost thou lead?	RNCPEI EYNRH uYor lgboe, dcreveo tiwh nnsneicott of nis! Wtha nikd of fiel rae you eglniad?
FALSTAFF A better than thou. I am a gentleman. Thou art a drawer.	AAFFFSTL A terbet elfi hant you. Im a tmnlgenae adn ryoeu tjus a drwera.
PRINCE HENRY Very true, sir, and I come to draw you out by the ears.	PERNIC NYERH sathT irght, ris. dnA Im noggi to draw yuo out of isth oorm by teh raes.
MISTRESS QUICKLY 245 O, the Lord preserve thy good Grace! By my troth, welcome to London. Now the Lord bless that sweet face of thine. O Jesu, are you come from Wales?	SMISTRES QKCYUIL Oh, yma dGo lsebs ouy, rsi. I wares, elmwoce to oonLdn. doG sslbe ttha twese acfe of yusro! Oh susJe! aHve uyo ocem rfom eWsal?
FALSTAFF Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, (indicating DOLL) by this light flesh and corrupt blood, thou art welcome.	FFAFTALS uYo osn of a hcbit, ouy saienn lbkoc of lrtyoya! (naigcntiid DOLL) I rewsa on siht eipec of kwae helsf dan prtocur boodl ahtt oyrue eeomclw reeh!
DOLL TEARSHEET 250 How? You fat fool, I scorn you.	LDOL HTTSREEEA hWta? Yuo taf lofo! heT lhle tiwh yuo!
POINS My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge and turn all to a merriment, if you take not the heat.	NSIPO My lrod, if oyu todn eskitr ehilw eth sinor hot, elhl trnu vtnegyehir noti a kjoe dan bor uoy of oyru cneach rfo geeevrn.
PRINCE HENRY You whoreson candle-mine, you how vilely did you speak of me even now before this honest, virtuous, civil 255 gentlewoman!	EINCPR ENHRY uoY osn of a orhew, ouy gntia ieecp of cldane xaw, you idsa chus ebrlihor htsgni atubo me tjsu nwo, in rtfno of iths hnstoe, ndsugnapti adn wlel-dheabev dyal.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Gods blessing of your good heart, and so she is, by my troth.	SSMIRTSE LUYCQKI yaM Gdo esslb your godo treha! eSh is all ttah, I rseaw.
FALSTAFF Didst thou hear me?	FALFATFS Did oyu eahr me?
PRINCE HENRY Yea, and you knew me, as you did when you ran away by Gads Hill. You knew I was at your back, and spoke it on 260 purpose to try my patience.	NIRECP EYNRH Yse. nAd oyu wkne I swa reeth, ghitr? Its juts ekil enwh yuo ran aawy at saGd lHil heT ncientdi at aGds lliH sucroc in tcA Two of enyHr IV, ratP One. Gads lHli : ouy wkne I wsa teh eon who etab yuo, nda you dmae up seom tosry ujst to retitrai me.
FALSTAFF No, no, no; not so. I did not think thou wast within hearing.	FSFAFTLA No, no, no. Nto at lal. I dah no iead uoy eerw ehter.
PRINCE HENRY I shall drive you, then, to confess the wilfull abuse, and then I know how to handle you.	CRIPEN EHRYN nTeh Im onggi to ekam uyo nofessc ahtt oyu eldeeibrtlay nedralesd me. dnA ehtn Ill kwon wtah to do netx.
FALSTAFF No abuse, Hal, o mine honor, no abuse.	SALTFFAF No aednrls, Hla. On my hroon, no dansrle.
PRINCE HENRY 265 Not to dispraise me and call me pantier and bread-chipper and I know not what?	RICEPN RNEHY No? To nmlgia me, adn call me a rynpat taersnv nad a arebd-trmeirm, dna I ndot owkn hawt sele?
FALSTAFF No abuse, Hal.	LAFFSTAF No ansredl, lHa.
POINS No abuse?	ONSIP No nasderl?
FALSTAFF No abuse, Ned, i th world, honest Ned, none. I dispraised 270 him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall in love with thee; in which doing, I have done the part of a careful friend and a true subject, and thy father is to give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal.None, Ned, none. No, faith, boys, none.	FFALTFSA No drsanel, Nde, in hte rwold, oensht deN, eonn. I ediangml mih nylo to eht wiedck, so atht het kweidc todulwn llfa in veol ihtw him. ndA by gnodi ttha, evI tdeac klie a ogod defnri adn lolay jucsteb, dna ruyo hareft uhldos nhkta me rof it. No leradns, lHa, neon, eNd. No, lryut bosy, noen.
PRINCE HENRY See now whether pure fear and entire cowardice doth not 275 make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us. Is she of the wicked, is thine hostess here of the wicked, or is thy boy of the wicked, or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in his nose, of the wicked?	NEPCIR HRNYE Now oyur ulbetaso eraf nad urtet wcaeoidlrsns hsa eadm oyu gwonr tihs odog ldya in errod to akem aepec wiht us. Is hes cwdeik? Is itsh tshoess ereh ekwicd? Is your ybo here kiwdce? Or ntshoe hoBladpr, owshe tpeiy nrusb in ihs efac? Is he ecikwd?
POINS Answer, thou dead elm, answer.	IPOSN wAresn, oyu dieterwh dol rkntu, wsaren.
FALSTAFF 280 The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable, and his face is Lucifers privy kitchen, where he doth nothing but roast malt-worms. For the boy, there is a good angel about him, but the devil outbids him too.	TFFFSALA Teh iveld ahs kmdrea Blaorhdp as ngol gnoe, nda hsi face is cusefLri etcihkn, heewr lnoy nudrks rae esrevd. As orf het byo, he aym heva a ogdo tpisri on noe drslueho, tbu eht dveil on teh ehort is sortgern.
PRINCE HENRY For the women?	ERINPC HEYRN And het nweom?
FALSTAFF 285 For one of them, shes in hell already and burns poor souls. For the other, I owe her money, and whether she be damned for that I know not.	FALFTAFS Oen of hmte is in lelh daeryal, ewerh hes steg orpo losus oth. As orf eht ehrto, I weo rhe neyom. If shes eddnma for atth, I aevh no deia.
MISTRESS QUICKLY No, I warrant you.	TRISSSEM ULKICQY Im nto, I pisrmoe yuo taht.
FALSTAFF No, I think thou art not; I think thou art quit for that. Marry, 290 there is another indictment upon thee for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house contrary to the law, for the which I think thou wilt howl.	FLFFSAAT No, I ikhtn uyeor ont. I nkhti oveyu eenb desxecu orf ahtt. tBu ehtser ethnoar cgahre stganai uoy. ouY sreve ehsfl in this ealcp, adn httsa asniagt teh wal. oeurY iggon to ellh rof atth.
MISTRESS QUICKLY All vitlars do so. Whats a joint of mutton or two in a whole Lent?	TMESSIRS LUIKQCY Ebdyrevoy woh sersve fdoo dseo htta. htsaW gwrno twih a etib or owt of tmea ingrud etLn?
PRINCE HENRY 295 You, gentlewoman.	ECIRNP NHERY Yuo, ogdo layd
DOLL TEARSHEET What says your Grace?	OLLD TEERTSHAE aWth is it, cuosrgia isr?
FALSTAFF His grace says that which his flesh rebels against.	FFFSATAL He aym speak to uyo gycariuslo, utb ihs obyd flese sowritehe.
Knocking within	oikgcnnK is dahre ffgeoats.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Who knocks so loud at door? Look to th door there, Francis.	STSRISME CLUQKYI Wsoh gnkocnik so lyuold on hte oord? rcFnisa, go ese.
Enter PETO	TOPE tsneer.
PRINCE HENRY Peto, how now, what news?	EINCPR HREYN ePto, woh are uoy? Wtsha ingog on?
PETO 300 The King your father is at Westminster, And there are twenty weak and wearied posts Come from the north, and as I came along I met and overtook a dozen captains, Bareheaded, sweating, knocking at the taverns 305 And asking everyone for Sir John Falstaff.	EPTO ruoY ftahre het nigK is in Wireemsttns. eyntwT eudshexta regsesmsne vahe vrreadi mfro eht hnotr. dAn, on my wya eehr, I tem a nzedo naitcspa, gtsluinh nda igowknr dahr, cgoknnki on the rodo of evrye veantr adn gchnrsiae fro Sir hnJo lsatFfaf.
PRINCE HENRY By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame So idly to profane the precious time When tempest of commotion, like the south Borne with black vapour, doth begin to melt 310 And drop upon our bare unarmd heads. Give me my sword and cloak.Falstaff, good night.	EPCIRN YERNH My Gdo, nosiP, I flee rieertbl ntasgiw riceupos mite on tsih eesnisld nwhe a uhge klabc mtros is begirwn, oson to pnoe up on uro rbae, aeunrevbll seadh. iveG me my caot nad my owrds. doGo nihgt, ffFasalt.
Exeunt PRINCE HENRY , POINS , PETO and BARDOLPH	CNPEIR REHNY , IONPS , PTOE , nda OPBRADLH xeit.
FALSTAFF Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night, and we must hence and leave it unpicked.	SAFAFLFT Nosw teh eteeswts aprt of the inhgt, dna we haev to laeve hoiwtut neignjoy it.
Knocking within	oKicgknn is adhre ffostgae.
More knocking at the door?	Meor okgicknn!
Enter BARDOLPH	PAOBRDLH rtnese.
How now, whats the matter?	Wahts ngoig on? asWht teh atetmr?
BARDOLPH 315 You must away to court, sir, presently. A dozen captains stay at door for you.	ROBLHADP Yuo vhea to go to eth oyrla tucor idiemelmayt, isr. A noezd tsipcana are at hte oord tnaiigw fro ouy.
FALSTAFF (to the PAGE) Pay the musicians, sirrah.Farewell, hostess.Farewell, Doll. You see, my good wenches, how men of merit are sought after. The undeserver may sleep 320 when the man of action is called on. Farewell, good wenches. If I be not sent away post, I will see you again ere I go.	LTFASAFF (to hte PAGE) yaP het isaicunsm, haSrir. yodGobe, iwrstsae. oyoGbde, ollD. eeS, wncshee, woh nwdtea we laevblau nem rea? heT dgoo-fro-tgoinnh amy lesep nweh the nma of naocit is edeend. ewrllFea, good whcesen. If Im ont ntes yaaw taymmeeliid, Ill omce see oyu naiag reobef I go.
DOLL TEARSHEET I cannot speak. If my heart be not ready to burstwell, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself.	LLOD ETEASHRTE I cnat sekap; my hater is yerda to ubstr. lelW, swtee Jack, kaet ecra of yrsefuol.
FALSTAFF 325 Farewell, farewell.	LFTFAAFS leealrwF, eealwrfl.
Exeunt FALSTAFF , BARDOLPH , PAGE , and musicians	LTAFAFFS and OPHBDLAR xtie.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Well, fare thee well. I have known thee these twenty-nine years, come peascod time, but an honester and truer-hearted manwell, fare thee well.	EMSSSRTI ILUCYQK lelW, yogboed. veI nknwo yuo wyetnt-neni asrye sith nJue. But a moer eonsht, orme good-edertah nllaewm, fare you wlle.
BARDOLPH (within) Mistress Tearsheet!	ADORBPLH (gtfoafes) essisrtM Tetheeras!
MISTRESS QUICKLY 330 Whats the matter?	RSSMISET QIYCLUK Wthsa het ttmaer?
BARDOLPH (within) Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my master.	DOLBAHRP (otsagffe) sstiMers earTeetsh, cmoe to my rasemt.
MISTRESS QUICKLY O, run, Doll, run, run, good Doll. Come.She comes blubbered.Yea! Will you come, Doll?	ERITSSSM LQYUIKC O, urn, llDo, run; run, ogod Dllo. mCeo.hSes gcionm, lla grciyn nda ebgrilbnbu.Wlli uyo cmeo, lDol?
Exeunt	eyhT etix.