Henry IV Part 2

by: William Shakespeare

  Act 2 Scene 1

page Act 2 Scene 1 Page 3

Original Text

Modern Text

FALSTAFF

Away, varlets!—Draw, Bardolph. Cut me off the villain’s
head. Throw the quean in the channel.

FALSTAFF

Get out of here, you crooks! Draw your sword, Bardolph. Cut off this rascal’s head, and throw this whore in the gutter.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Throw me in the channel? I’ll throw thee in the channel. Wilt
40thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly rogue?—Murder, murder!—
Ah, thou honeysuckle villain, wilt thou kill God’s officers
and the King’s? Ah, thou honeyseed rogue, thou art a
honeyseed, a man-queller, and a woman-queller.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Throw me in the gutter? I’ll throw you in the gutter. You will? You will? You bastardly cheat! Murder! Murder! Oh, you

honeysuckle

honeysuckle, honey-seed, hemp-seed = homicidal, homicide

honeysuckle
criminal! You’re going to kill God’s sheriffs, and the King’s? Oh, you honey-seed creep! You’re a honey-seed, a man-killer, and a woman-killer.

FALSTAFF

Keep them off, Bardolph.

FALSTAFF

Keep them off me, Bardolph.

FANG

45A rescue, a rescue!

FANG

An escape! An escape!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Good people, bring a rescue or two.— (to FALSTAFF) Thou
wot, wot thou? Thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou rogue. Do,
thou hempseed.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Somebody, bring an

escape

Mistress Quickly mistakes Fang’s warning as a request for “escapes.”

escape
or two! (to FALSTAFF) You will, will you? You will, will you? Go ahead, go ahead, you scoundrel! You hemp-seed!

FALSTAFF

Away, you scullion, you rampallion, you fustilarian! I’ll
50tickle your catastrophe.

FALSTAFF

Get off, you serving wench! You ruffian! You fat old hag! I’ll beat you on the backside!
Enter the Lord CHIEF JUSTICE and his men
The Lord CHIEF JUSTICE and his men enter.

CHIEF JUSTICE

What is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho!

CHIEF JUSTICE

What’s the matter? Let’s have some order here!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you stand to me.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Good sir, be good to me. I beg you, stand up for me.

CHIEF JUSTICE

How now, Sir John? What, are you brawling here?
Doth this become your place, your time, and business?
55You should have been well on your way to York.—
(to FANG) Stand from him, fellow: wherefore hang’st thou
   upon him?

CHIEF JUSTICE

Well if it isn’t Sir John! Are you making trouble here? Is this appropriate for a man of your position, your age, and your responsibilities? You should be well on your way to York by now. (to FANG) Get off him, man. Why are you holding him?

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