No Fear Shakespeare: Henry IV Part 2: Act 2 Scene 1 Page 3

Original Text	Modern Text
FALSTAFF Away, varlets!—Draw, Bardolph. Cut me off the villain’s head. Throw the quean in the channel.	FALSTAFF Get out of here, you crooks! Draw your sword, Bardolph. Cut off this rascal’s head, and throw this whore in the gutter.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Throw me in the channel? I’ll throw thee in the channel. Wilt 40thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly rogue?—Murder, murder!— Ah, thou honeysuckle villain, wilt thou kill God’s officers and the King’s? Ah, thou honeyseed rogue, thou art a honeyseed, a man-queller, and a woman-queller.	MISTRESS QUICKLY Throw me in the gutter? I’ll throw you in the gutter. You will? You will? You bastardly cheat! Murder! Murder! Oh, you honeysuckle honeysuckle, honey-seed, hemp-seed = homicidal, homicide honeysuckle criminal! You’re going to kill God’s sheriffs, and the King’s? Oh, you honey-seed creep! You’re a honey-seed, a man-killer, and a woman-killer.
FALSTAFF Keep them off, Bardolph.	FALSTAFF Keep them off me, Bardolph.
FANG 45A rescue, a rescue!	FANG An escape! An escape!
MISTRESS QUICKLY Good people, bring a rescue or two.— (to FALSTAFF) Thou wot, wot thou? Thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou rogue. Do, thou hempseed.	MISTRESS QUICKLY Somebody, bring an escape Mistress Quickly mistakes Fang’s warning as a request for “escapes.” escape or two! (to FALSTAFF) You will, will you? You will, will you? Go ahead, go ahead, you scoundrel! You hemp-seed!
FALSTAFF Away, you scullion, you rampallion, you fustilarian! I’ll 50tickle your catastrophe.	FALSTAFF Get off, you serving wench! You ruffian! You fat old hag! I’ll beat you on the backside!
Enter the Lord CHIEF JUSTICE and his men	The Lord CHIEF JUSTICE and his men enter.
CHIEF JUSTICE What is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho!	CHIEF JUSTICE What’s the matter? Let’s have some order here!
MISTRESS QUICKLY Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you stand to me.	MISTRESS QUICKLY Good sir, be good to me. I beg you, stand up for me.
CHIEF JUSTICE How now, Sir John? What, are you brawling here? Doth this become your place, your time, and business? 55You should have been well on your way to York.— (to FANG) Stand from him, fellow: wherefore hang’st thou upon him?	CHIEF JUSTICE Well if it isn’t Sir John! Are you making trouble here? Is this appropriate for a man of your position, your age, and your responsibilities? You should be well on your way to York by now. (to FANG) Get off him, man. Why are you holding him?