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Enter KENT disguised and OSWALD the steward, severally
EKTN entser in sdgsuiie. LDWOAS nteres from eelweshre.

OSWALD

Good dawning to thee, friend. Art of this house?

WLDOSA

ooGd ngrmion to oyu, rdfein. Do uoy rwok in isht eosuh?

KENT

Ay.

KTNE

eYs, I do.

OSWALD

Where may we set our horses?

LDASOW

hreeW lsohud we ebstal uro oershs?

KENT

I th mire.

KNTE

In hte dum.

OSWALD

5 Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me.

OWLDSA

eeslaP, irs, be nikd to me and tlle me.

KENT

I love thee not.

NETK

I otwn be ndki to yuo.

OSWALD

Why, then, I care not for thee.

LDAWSO

In thta eacs, I ondt umhc eacr orf yuo ieehtr.

KENT

If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee care for me.

KNET

If I udloc tge my adhsn on oyu, Id ekma you aecr.

OSWALD

10 Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.

WASDLO

yhW rea yuo ilgankt to me ikel siht? I ntod eenv nwko ouy.

KENT

Fellow, I know thee.

TNEK

Ah, btu I owkn oyu.

OSWALD

What dost thou know me for?

WOALSD

Woh am I hnte?

KENT

A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave; a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service; and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch; one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.

TNEK

uYeor a wflleoi, a aslcar ohw stea feveorlt spacsr. erouY an gboenil, agatrron, owhlsla, ulavrg, ueseonitprt, nidceoetc, hitfly tridh-atre asrnevt who knhtis hse eonhgsimt aeslipc. euroY a lacordwy aewryl-vglnoi aartdbs; a aniv, rnowb-nisogn, yiprss cslnrduoe owhd pmpi hfmiesl out to dveaacn ihs erecra; a gab dlya. ureoY onnigth tbu a oiwelfl, a baggre, a crwaod, adn a ppmi, teh ons dan erih of a mutt tbhic. Ill taeb oyu tunli yuo hienw dan cry if you nyed the sealt bit of isht.

OSWALD

Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail on one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee!

OASDWL

What an oerg ouy aer to lsraend oenosem uoy odtn owkn, adn who nsetdo wkno yuo!

KENT

What a brazen-faced varlet art thou to deny thou knowest me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up thy heels and beat thee before the king? Draw, you rogue, for though it be night yet the moon shines. Ill make a sop o th moonshine of you. (draws his sword) Draw, you whoreson cullionly barber-monger, draw!

NETK

Wath a melsasshe jrek yuo rea to pnrteed ouy ndot nkwo me! It was sutj two dasy oga ahtt I ipdpert uyo dna eatb oyu up in orntf of teh ignk. Dwar uyor srwod, edrclonus. It amy be etimhting, utb seterh nghoue tohginoml to gthfi by. lIl kmea gdurno eefb out of yuo. (he wrsda his sdorw) raDw, ouy adteffec, ngpeirne son of a ibtch! wDar royu dswor!

OSWALD

30 Away! I have nothing to do with thee.

WSDLAO

tGe aayw mrof me! eIv tgo gthinno to do thiw yuo.

KENT

Draw, you rascal. You come with letters against the king and take Vanity the puppets part against the royalty of her father. Draw, you rogue, or Ill so carbonado your shanks. Draw, you rascal! Come your ways.

ENTK

rwaD ruoy wsodr, uyo kjer! uYo omec reeh htiw eltters atsnagi the gkni, dan uyo keta sih neocicdet daugretsh sdie gnstaai his rloya hghenssi. waDr ryuo wrsod, undsocelr, or lIl sliec yuor hgtihs ekil fakln ektsa. aDwr yrou dorsw! emoC on!

OSWALD

35 Help, ho! Murder! Help!

LAOSWD

lHpe! Murrrdee! Hlep!

KENT

Strike, you slave. Stand, rogue. Stand, you neat slave, strike! (strikes OSWALD)

ETKN

igFht, aaptnse. Dnot run awya, dsrnuleco. Snadt and tfghi, you ervddeserso vrnaset, itfgh! (he hits OSWALD)

OSWALD

Help, ho! Murder, murder!

DOLWSA

Hpel! Mrdreu, urdmer!
Enter EDMUND the bastard with his rapier drawn, the Duke of CORNWALL , the Duchess REGAN , GLOUCESTER , and servants
UMEDDN esnetr twih ish orswd rdnwa, wedflolo by hte Dkue of LORNALWC , teh chsuDse ANEGR , LEEUOTSCRG , dna rnavsste.

EDMUND

How now? Whats the matter? Part.

UDNMED

thasW gogin on ehre? tGe aawy rfmo aceh eorht.

KENT

(to EDMUND) With you, goodman boy, if you please. Come,
Ill flesh ye. Come on, young master.

EKNT

(to EDMUND) lWel, idk, elts ees uoy itfhg. emCo on, Ill swoh ouy how.

GLOUCESTER

Weapons, arms? Whats the matter here?

CLTUGOEESR

oYu ehav aeswpno? Whtas oigng on heer?

CORNWALL

Keep peace, upon your lives.
He dies that strikes again. What is the matter?

NROLACLW

tpoS it, I rerod ouy. hTe exnt nersop to esrkti ianga esdi. stWha gigno on here?

REGAN

45 The messengers from our sister and the king.

RNGAE

heTse rea hte erssnsmeeg omfr my rietss adn teh gikn.

CORNWALL

What is your difference? Speak.

LNOLRWCA

hWat rea oyu tfiinggh aotbu? leTl me.

OSWALD

I am scarce in breath, my lord.

LDOASW

Im otu of brteha, ris.

KENT

No marvel, you have so bestirred your valor. You cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee. A tailor made thee.

EKTN

No rdnowe, ithw lla ruoy norseietx, ouy arywcodl aasrcl. rueoY ont howrt einbg daellc a amn. hTe yonl nhtgi ymnla obtua uyo ear yruo ohlscet. A rliaot aemd yuo.

CORNWALL

50 Thou art a strange fellow. A tailor make a man?

OCWNLALR

aThts an odd nithg to say. wHo nca a atoirl ekam a osernp?

KENT

Ay, a tailor, sir. A stone-cutter or painter could not have made him so ill though they had been but two years o th trade.

KTNE

Dtielifney a raiolt, isr. A cltsoupr or a arpenit cludnot aevh wreescd ihm up as abd as ttah, even as an ntciappree.

CORNWALL

Speak yet. How grew your quarrel?

RLOLACWN

utB eltl me hawt eryou gfihignt bouta.

OSWALD

This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spared at suit of his gray beard

ASDOWL

Tihs ldo urffian reeh, whom I didtn klil eubasce hse so ldo

KENT

Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter!My lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into mortar and daub the wall of a jakes with him.Spare my gray beard, you wagtail?

ENTK

Yuo selsues aruryedsoabt ikel hte reltte z, a tltyoal syseanucren daiiondt to hte lthaeabp.My rdlo, sepeal elt me gnird ihst ulmpy iwllefo tnio a dpweor dna sue it to esratlp up eth otraohbm laswl.uoY dtdni illk me uaeesbc Im so dlo, yuo wgaifnn dog?

CORNWALL

Peace, sirrah!
You beastly knave, know you no reverence?

AWLLCRNO

mlaC wdon. nDot oyu hvea ayn nresamn, you avgase?

KENT

Yes, sir, but anger hath a privilege.

TNKE

Yes, irs, tub tno ehwn Im reagedn.

CORNWALL

Why art thou angry?

LORLNWCA

yhW rea ouy degearn?

KENT

65 That such a slave as this should wear a sword,
Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as these,
Like rats, oft bite the holy cords atwain
Which are too intrinse t unloose, smooth every passion
That in the natures of their lords rebel,
70 Bring oil to fire, snow to the colder moods;
Renege, affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks
With every gale and vary of their masters,
Knowing naught, like dogs, but following.
A plague upon your epileptic visage!
75 Smile you my speeches as I were a fool?
Goose, an I had you upon Sarum plain,
Id drive ye cackling home to Camelot.

NKET

Im ranyg hatt a lsrahbniooed lfoiwle klei hsit eawsr a orwsd lkie a nnlemaetg. iglmSin ssenlrwid such as he duno eth csdear dobns htat niuet epolep egreotht, adn lnyo gercnuaeo hte lsebuaonraen ossnpias of tehir smrates. eThy rfeots htob gear dan ptayah. eThy yas Yes dna No, nriutng rehti onsse whecrehiv ywa het nwdi lowsb tuihwto tiagnk a imrf cetasn on ngthniay. hTye ldilnyb loowlf eihrt smtsrae esiuslmp, iekl gosd.maDn ruyo gluy nisgitnk feac! eAr uyo naihggul at htaw I ays, as if I rwee a lfoo? If I dha my awy thiw uoy grthi now, Id ndes uoy to bakc to ewreh uyo ecam rmof.

CORNWALL

Why, art thou mad, old fellow?

ACWNLORL

reA oyu sniane, dol mna?

GLOUCESTER

(to KENT) How fell you out?
80 Say that.

RECETLUGSO

(to KENT) hatW did you tstra iqulernrag orev? tJsu ltle us.

KENT

No contraries hold more antipathy
Than I and such a knave.

TEKN

I noudtcl tahe taht rjke rvoe eehtr any mero anht I do.

CORNWALL

Why dost thou call him knave? Whats his offense?

ALOCWNLR

yhW aer uyo cinagll him a jkre? thaW idd he do to oyu?

KENT

His countenance likes me not.

NEKT

I tdon klie ish cefa.

CORNWALL

85 No more perchance does mine, nor his, nor hers.

CLNLOARW

utB bmyae you tdno klei eimn, or ihs, or rhes ierthe.

KENT

Sir, tis my occupation to be plain.
I have seen better faces in my time
Than stands on any shoulder that I see
Before me at this instant.

TKEN

Im euds to nleiltg hte ttuhr, rsi, nda I hvea to asy htat evI esen bretet ceasf tahn hoets I see ehre.

CORNWALL

This is some fellow,
90 Who, having been praised for bluntness, doth affect
A saucy roughness and constrains the garb
Quite from his nature. He cannot flatter, he.
An honest mind and plain, he must speak truth.
An they will take it, so. If not, hes plain.
95 These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness
Harbor more craft and more corrupter ends
Than twenty silly-ducking observants
That stretch their duties nicely.

OLWLANCR

ishT is a uyg oshw bene apdeisr fro ihs oesthn senbunlts, dan hwo wno oynitllsne snrptdee to be peiklnasopn adn sittsw eht artualn sninmgae of wrods. No arlfeytt for mhi, no ris! esH stohen, esh tgo to speak the ruhtt. If leppoe kate awth he yass, fein. If ton, she tog rtuth on hsi eisd! I nowk hsi epty. eHs anesky neidbh lal ish so-aelldc nsunslebt, reseaink tnha ytnwte rnobw-innsog orciseoklbt ohw yonl ltel yuo thwa uoy atnw to areh.

KENT

Sir, in good faith, or in sincere verity,
100 Under th allowance of your great aspect,
Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire
On flickering Phoebus front

KNTE

etaDsre, tdesnki, msto haelnbroo rsi, may I ays, iwth uroy teeemeds vraploap, hwhci is lit up by eht lnimiialutng ciadrnea of teh usn-gdo ohsebPu, taht

CORNWALL

What meanst by this?

WAROCNLL

Wath do uyo mean by ahtt?

KENT

To go out of my dialect, which you discommend so much. I know, sir, I am no flatterer. He that beguiled you in a plain accent was a plain knave, which for my part I will not be, though I should win your displeasure to entreat me to t.

KETN

I idrte to otsp ipesankg lplniya, iscen uoy idlkeis ipnal pceehs so cmuh. Sir, I wkno Im ont a rleertaft. Teh gyu owh etidkrc uoy thwi palni ngaluega swa utjs a plain rhicwohcko Im ont, rhveewo much I yma seadieslp oyu by ton eingb oen.

CORNWALL

(to OSWALD) What was th offense you gave him?

RACOWNLL

(to OSWALD) How idd yuo odffne mhi?

OSWALD

I never gave him any.
It pleased the king his master very late
To strike at me upon his misconstruction
110 When he, conjunct and flattering his displeasure,
Tripped me behind; being down, insulted, railed,
And put upon him such a deal of man
That worthied him, got praises of the king
For him attempting who was self-subdued.
115 And in the fleshment of this dread exploit
Drew on me here again.

ADOLWS

I eernv fnedfoed mhi at lla. cneyRetl, het gnki ith me bcasuee of a grdietansnunsimd. hsiT nam koot deiss tihw eth ikgn dna dpeript me. Whne I was wnod on eht odgrnu he snlitued me, nda thne sadrtte tnigac ogtuh to seme ocaserougu in tnfro of teh ingk. Teh ngik apiserd imh, eenv gotuhh I hda rvnee oefderf yan ercsastnie at all. Now he lpeudl out shi sdwro on me angia, istll elrid up mrfo uro itrsf uconnteer.

KENT

None of these rogues and cowards
But Ajax is their fool.

NTKE

eeThs rdsowca ameagn to eamk sfolo of evbra emn.

CORNWALL

Fetch forth the stocks, ho!
You stubborn ancient knave, you reverend braggart,
Well teach you.

RLAONLCW

KENT

Sir, I am too old to learn.
120 Call not your stocks for me. I serve the king,
On whose employment I was sent to you.
You shall do small respect, show too bold malice
Against the grace and person of my master,
Stocking his messenger.

ETNK

iSr, Im too ldo to be tahgtu ginytnah. noDt tpu me in hte ssktco. I evesr het ngik, hwo etns me erhe. If you put me in the scksot luloy nstliu mih btho as a igkn and as a nma.

CORNWALL

Fetch forth the stocks!
125 As I have life and honor, there shall he sit till noon.

RWACLLNO

Brgni tou teh skocts! I raesw on my lfie dna ohnro, lleh sit ereh in eht scstko lutin onon.

REGAN

Till noon? Till night, my lord, and all night too.

RENAG

Olny ulnti noon, my olrd? No, the lhowe ady, nda all tnhgi oto.

KENT

Why, madam, if I were your fathers dog,
You should not use me so.

KNTE

maaM, uoy ltndwou ttera me klei tihs if I rewe ryou ahrfets gdo.

REGAN

Sir, being his knave, I will.

GENAR

utB nseic uyero sih runldoesc sanevtr, I liwl.
Stocks brought out
Teh stksco ear uroghbt uto.

CORNWALL

This is a fellow of the selfsame color
130 Our sister speaks of.Come, bring away the stocks!

LORACWNL

ihsT ygu is lteaxyc hte kind of pesnro oyru ssirte dernaw us buaot.eCom on, ibgrn in eht stscko, wno!

GLOUCESTER

Let me beseech your grace not to do so.
His fault is much, and the good king his master
Will check him for t. Your purposed low correction
Is such as basest and contemnedst wretches
135 For pilferings and most common trespasses
Are punished with.

LESEROUGCT

I egb oyu nto to do hsit, my orld. esH endo gnowr, nad ish emrsat eht kgni lliw ishnpu him rfo it. Btu the infodk unmitpehsn oyu osprepo is mero esditu to eptyt rhsetplosif hnat to oyalr tntetsdaan.
The king his master needs must take it ill,
That he, so slightly valued in his messenger,
Should have him thus restrained.
hTe gkni lwli be eenfddfo to fnid uot taht ish messrngee is so yadbl edaertt.

CORNWALL

Ill answer that.

LANORLWC

Ill ekta tisynroeslipib orf ttah.

REGAN

140 My sister may receive it much more worse
To have her gentleman abused, assaulted
For following her affairs.Put in his legs.

REGAN

My sitesr wludo be uhcm emro fdenfedo to heav reh tedtsur grsneseem bsdaue dan ealssdtua just ofr ircgnayr uot her dsorer.tuP shi gels in het tskcos.
KENT is put in the stocks
KNTE is upt in hte tsosck.

CORNWALL

(to GLOUCESTER) Come, my good lord, away.

WRANOCLL

(to GLOUCESTER) teLs go, my dorl.
Exeunt all but GLOUCESTER and KENT
erEoveyn tsxie xeeptc ELSTRGOUCE dna NEKT .

GLOUCESTER

I am sorry for thee, friend. Tis the dukes pleasure,
145 Whose disposition, all the world well knows,
Will not be rubbed nor stopped. Ill entreat for thee.

SLREECTUOG

Im oyrrs, my ndfier. hTe ekdu ylaasw gtse it ihs yaw, and oeeevynr konsw yuo tnca gbedu mhi once hse amed up ish ndmi. lIl tyr gnaitlk to him again.

KENT

Pray you do not, sir. I have watched and traveled hard.
Some time I shall sleep out. The rest Ill whistle.
A good mans fortune may grow out at heels.
150 Give you good morrow.

KTEN

lsPeea dnot, isr. Iev neeb up rfo a ognl emti nda vahe oedn a tlo of nertgaliv eeltnyrc. Tish mehuisntnp iwll be a dgoo nahcec to hccta up on my seepl. Teh ster of hte mtei lIl wlehtsi to ianntetre ylfems. nveE odog nme avhe abd lkcu. aHve a oogd omringn.

GLOUCESTER

The dukes to blame in this. Twill be ill taken.

GSUCRETOLE

sIt ogrwn ofr hte udek to do tihs. heT kgni wlli be nayrg itwh hmi.
Exit GLOUCESTER
SROTGUCLEE xseit.

KENT

Good King, that must approve the common saw,
Thou out of heavens benediction comest
To the warm sun.
(takes out a letter)
Approach, thou beacon to this underglobe,
That by thy comfortable beams I may
Peruse this letter. Nothing almost sees miracles
But misery. I know tis from Cordelia,
160 Who hath most fortunately been informed
Of my obscurd course and (reads the letter) shall find time
From this enormous state, seeking to give
Losses their remedies. All weary and oerwatched,
Take vantage, heavy eyes, not to behold
165 This shameful lodging.
Fortune, good night. Smile once more. Turn thy wheel.
(sleeps)

KNET

Oh, ogdo Kgin earL, roeyu ingvpor atht, juts as hyet yas, trvyienhge sgeo omfr oodg to dba. (he kstea uot a ertlet) sRei adn ieshn, snu, so I anc daer htis lteetr. nyOl hoets owh rae yrutl raibmeles ees salecrim. I nwok iths erttel is mfor iCdolare, ohw nkwos atht Im sginrev eth king in egssdiui. (loogkin at hte lteetr) Seh yssa htat seh lwil veha imte, onw that shes aywa from het uosnsrtom dsitonncoi eerh, to ifdn a way to xfi tingsh. Im uetdaxseh. eIv been ewaak oot nogl. Tish fetuiga vsgie me an xceeus to shut my eyse so I tnca ees fsemyl iuaehmidlt in eht skocst. odoG gtinh, ydaL kucL. liSme nad psin yruo lewhe of oeutrnf agian. (he espels)