How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43): Motifs

“I love thee”

Over the course of the sonnet, the speaker directly addresses their beloved with the phrase “I love thee” a total of nine times. On two occasions, this phrase is embedded within a sentence. In the opening line, for example, the speaker uses the phrase in a question: “How do I love thee?” The speaker slightly rearranges the phrase in line 14, but to similar effect: “I shall love thee better after death.” But for the most part, the phrase “I love thee” occurs at the beginning of sentences, as highlighted below (lines 2–13):

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life.

The speaker repeats “I love thee” as part of a strategy of enumeration, in which they list all the different forms their love takes. The addition of each new item in the list helps build a sense of accumulation, which the speaker first implied in the opening line: “Let me count the ways [I love thee].” With this declaration, the speaker invites their beloved—and the reader—to count with them, and the repeating phrase “I love thee” serves as a device that aids in the counting.

Religious References

Religious references appear at several points in the poem. These references strongly link the speaker’s adoration for their beloved to the spiritual love associated with their faith. The speaker gestures to this point early in the poem, in lines 2–4:

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.

Although the speaker’s use of the word “soul” has religious connotations, the more significant word here is “grace.” In ordinary speech, grace refers to a simple kind of refinement or sense of goodwill. However, grace is also an important concept in Christianity, where it refers to the free and unearned favor of God. The speaker’s love, like God’s, provides them with access to a sense of “ideal grace.” The speaker makes a similar point when they liken the fervor they feel for their beloved to the “passion put to use . . . with my childhood’s faith” (lines 9–10). They make this point yet again in lines 11–12, where they reference a profound moment of religious doubt: “I love thee with a love I seemed to lose / With my lost saints.” The speaker’s loss of their “saints” made them worry they’d never experience spiritual love again, but the adoration they feel for their beloved has changed their mind.

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