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One of her major triumphs was that her mother had not been able to turn her dust into Joy, but the greater one was that she had been able to turn it herself into Hulga.
Joy legally changed her name to Hulga “as soon as she was twenty-one and away from home” at college. Mrs. Hopewell believes that Hulga chose an ugly name to spite her, and she is correct about Hulga’s motivation. After the childhood hunting accident disfigured Joy, she saw herself as ugly. She then proceeded to transform her inner self to match her perceived outward ugliness. In the Bible, the first human being is formed from dust, and in Hulga’s mind, her mother wished to play God’s part by forming her. Mrs. Hopewell wanted her daughter to be the embodiment of joy, a copy of herself, a happy person with a positive outlook on life. But Hulga takes for herself the power of creating her own life. She makes herself Hulga, with all the ugliness implicit in the name.
If you want me, here I am – LIKE I AM.
When made to walk the fields with her mother, Hulga looks sullen and makes ugly comments. Mrs. Hopewell’s response to Hulga’s unpleasant company is, “If you can’t come pleasantly, I don’t want you at all.” Hulga’s reply goes deeper than just the situation at hand. It is her response to their relationship. Mrs. Hopewell wants her daughter to be Joy, not Hulga. Hulga does not live up to her high hopes or her expectations. Conversely, Hulga wants to be accepted as she is. She deeply wants and needs her mother’s acceptance, even if she does not acknowledge it. Ironically, though, Hulga consciously tries to be ugly, unwanted, and unacceptable.
When after a minute, she said in a hoarse high voice, “All right,” it was like surrendering to him completely. It was like losing her own life and finding it again, miraculously, in his.
In the barn hayloft, Manley earnestly insists that Hulga prove her love by showing where her prosthetic attaches to her body. Being “face to face with real innocence” destroys Hulga’s defenses. She has a moment of epiphany in which she gives up her cynicism, nihilism, and atheism. She “surrender[s] to him completely” and “los[es] her own life and find[s] it again, miraculously, in his.” Her epiphany reflects a Bible verse Manley misquotes earlier in the story, “He who losest his life shall find it.” O’Connor was a devout Catholic, so she would certainly know the full quotation and its meaning. In the King James translation, the words are, “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” In O’Connor’s story, rather than reflecting the Christian idea that one should reject the worldly life for Jesus’s sake, Hulga risks losing her soul and life to Manley.
