Confessions of a College Matchmaker: How to Find a Good Matchmaker
It's time for finals here on campus! And that means even if you were sitting across from a wet, shirtless Abercrombie and Fitch model in the library, you’d be too busy studying for your Art History final to care. Plus, this week it finally hit below-zero temperatures...so anyone shirtless at this time of the year probably has brain damage.
But this also means that this week was pretty nonexistent on the matchmaker scale, which means I had to get creative for this week's post. And so, for those of you looking for your very own matchmaker, I have compiled a list of important traits to look for when enlisting a friend to give your love life a boost.
The WRONG way: One time, I liked one of my stepdad's students. I asked my stepdad to eavesdrop to find out if my crush had a girlfriend. What did my stepdad do? He pulled his student aside and gave him his blessing to date me. Did I mention I'd only talked to my crush twice?
The RIGHT way: Want to go to the movies? Have your matchmaker ask your crush what type of film he likes, or if he's seen a certain one yet. Then you ask your crush to the movies yourself. The matchmaker provides opportunities, without shoving commitment down someone’s throat.
The WRONG way: My cousin decided that she should send her boyfriend, a complete stranger, into the bathroom after my boyfriend to ask if we were “official” yet. I’m pretty sure urinal-based conversations are only supposed to occur in movies.
The RIGHT way: Is your crush sitting alone? Looking bored? Have your matchmaker go sit with her. The most important part of setting up two individuals up is timing. If the object of affection looks busy or upset, she's going to be less likely to say yes.
The WRONG way: Don't choose a matchmaker who will walk up to your crush and say, "You have great hair. Me and my friend were just discussing how much we like your style.” As I discovered, remarks like this will result in the crush saying, "You give weird compliments," and walking away REALLY quickly.
The RIGHT way: Your matchmaker can’t be a stranger to your crush. Otherwise, two things will happen. One, he'll think that your matchmaker is hitting on him. And two, he won't reveal personal information, since he's talking to someone he just met. When you're looking for a matchmaker, pick a mutual friend. This way, the matchmaker can set up the two of you naturally. I mean, she just “happened” to bring you along for dinner on Friday with him, right? And she just “happened” to let the two of you sit next to each other. And she just “happened” to mention how much you two have in common. You see where this is going, right?
The WRONG way: “Well, uh, Jerry’s roommate is Asian too. You could date him!” Never pick someone who will make assumptions about what you like based on the way you look.
The RIGHT way: You want a matchmaker who is not going to question who you like or why, but help you meet whoever you're interested in. I believe that the most important duty of a matchmaker is to instill self-confidence in her subjects.
Are there any talented matchmakers at your school?
Related post: Confessions of a College Matchmaker: How YOU Doin'?