Handling College Questions the Nonviolent Way

Handling College Questions the Nonviolent Way

By Contributor

...And if these tips don't work, super_deluxe just flips down her shades and walks away. –Sparkitors

"LIKE, WHAT COLLEGE DID YOU GET INTO? OH MY GAHHHHHD!"
"Did you get into Stanford?"
"Have you heard from Harvard yet?"
"You're majoring in WHAT?!"

These questions will plague you until September. They'll haunt your dreams and show up in unexpected places, like the gym and your bathroom. These questions are like tampons: no big deal, if you know how to handle 'em.

That's why I'm here: so I can teach you how to handle the college hype—without resorting to screaming and/or violence.

-If you got into your top-choice college, congratulations! It's fine to be happy about it, but please don't brag. Going up to a Starbucks employee and saying, "I like my coffee Brown, like my college," isn't going to do anything except encourage the employee to spit in your coffee. Unless you like your coffee Brown and frothier than usual, avoid doing it.

-If you didn't get into the college you hoped for, fear not! You've always got that backup university, and don't be ashamed of it! At least you got into a college, and if you make good grades for the next four years and build yourself up, you can get into a great grad school!

-If, however, you didn't get into any of the schools you applied to, please accept my condolences. Worst case scenario, you could register for Bunker Hill Community College and tell everyone you're going to school in Boston?

-If your chosen major isn't completely practical, brace yourself for "hilarious" comments from your friends' parents and parents' friends, along the lines of "You're getting a poetry degree? I hope they teach how to say 'Do you want fries with that!'" Haha.

-If you've chosen a school very close to home, ignore the haters who judge you for not hopping halfway across the country the first chance you get. And resist the temptation to run to your parents' place for laundry and food, lest they try to impose a curfew on you, too.

-If, on the other hand, you are moving many, many states away from everyone and everything that you know, embrace the decision, try not to freak when the big move comes, and don't let the sad eyes of your family and friends get you down.

What's your most dreaded college-related question?

Related post: How to Choose Between Colleges

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Topics: sparkler posts, annoying things, college, rejection, ivy league, majors, acceptance, backup schools

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