P Is for "Prude"

P Is for

By Contributor

Faye's blogging the college book THE NAKED ROOMMATE. This week, she covers the elephant in the room (or should we say "elephant in the rum"). Oh oh oh, we crack ourselves up. —Sparkitors

I feel like an anti-Hester Prynne. Seriously, someone needs to knit me a scarlet “P” for "prude" that I can wear on all my college clothes so everyone knows to stay away or risk catching the prudish, which sounds like a horrible disease that requires its victim to never have any fun and only wear turtleneck sweaters.

Anyway, chapters 10 and 11 of The Naked Roommate are about drinking and drugs. And I’m planning on doing neither of those things in college. (Although I’ll probably have a few drinks when I turn 21 since I’ve always wanted to try the adorable fruity drinks with the frosted rims and tiny umbrellas you see on restaurant menus.) But the point is—I don’t want to get drunk or high, which puts me in a minority on a college campus.

I know, first no sex and now no booze or weed—I’m every un-fun mother hen’s perfect child. But I swear I’m not as lame as last week’s post and this week’s post are making me out to be. I like wearing short skirts and makeup, going to parties, dancing, watching R-rated movies with my friends, having fun and trying to be as not lame as possible.

The thing is, I’ve had Catholic schooling since Kindergarten, which means two things. 1) I have no idea how to dress myself in the morning. Seriously, wearing a uniform has made it easy for 13 years but I’m screwed for the next four. And 2) I’ve been sheltered. No one drank or did drugs or even dated in middle school, and though there was one couple that “went out,” they never actually “went” anywhere. In high school, of course there was drinking and drug dealing, but if you didn’t look too hard to find it, you could pretend it wasn’t there. College is completely different. The guy leading one of the parent meetings at my Orientation guaranteed to all the parents (my mom included) that their children would be drunk before Christmas. It’s practically expected that you’re going to drink and experiment with illegal substances in college.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with other people doing that stuff. What they do with their brain cells is their own business. If a person isn’t an immediate danger to themselves or others, I’m not going to tell them what to do with their life. Harv seems to be on my side with this one. He says:

  • If you’re going to drink, don’t drink too much.
  • Just because others are doing it doesn’t mean you have to.
  • Don’t do something stupid when you’re drunk like having unsafe sex, and NEVER ever drive drunk.
  • Drinking can kill people, so you know, be careful.
  • If you want to avoid drugs, avoid the people doing the drugs.
  • Drugs can kill people too, so seriously, think about what you’re doing before it’s too late.

Harv throws in all sorts of statistics: 1,825 college students die each year from alcohol-related injuries. 90+% of sexual assaults involve alcohol. etc, etc, so you get his point.

Does all that mean I’m going to stay huddled in the safety of my dorm room for the next four years? Heck no. I’m still going to go to parties—you know, if I’m invited to parties—I’m just not going to drink at them. Do I think I’m not going to make any friends if I don’t drink? Everybody needs a designated driver friend, right? Am I going to miss out on the full college experience if I don’t experiment a little bit? I don’t think so, but I’m willing to take that chance if it means that I keep my scholarships, stay out of trouble, and not regret anything I did when I wasn’t thinking clearly.

Gah, I must sound like your mom, your dad, and your 5th grade D.A.R.E. instructor all rolled into one annoyingly preachy person. I’ll try to make it up to you with this fun fact: move-in is 11 days away! Eek, so excited!

Until next week,

Faye :)

What do you think—do you have to drink to have fun in college?

Related posts: Blogging the Naked Roommate

Topics: sparkler posts, college, drugs, drinking, blogging the naked roommate

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