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Think carefully about the following incomplete statement. Then read the assignment below it and plan and write your essay as directed. “I have learned many things from many experiences, but I have never learned as much as when I ___.” Assignment: Plan and write an essay in which you complete the statement above by selecting an event or experience from your life. |
| Score | 6 | 5 | 4 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Features | General overall impression | ||
| Point of view; critical thinking; examples, reasons, and evidence | |||
| Organization, focus, coherence, and flow | |||
| Vocabulary and use of language | |||
| Sentence structure | |||
| Errors in grammar and usage | |||
| Score | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| Features | General overall impression | ||
| Point of view; critical thinking; examples, reasons, and evidence | |||
| Organization, focus, coherence, and flow | |||
| Vocabulary and use of language | |||
| Sentence structure | |||
| Errors in grammar and usage | |||
| General Overall Impression | |
|---|---|
| Score Level | Defining Characteristics |
| 6 | An exceptional essay that shows sustained expertise, but which contains a few minor errors |
| 5 | A successful essay that shows mostly sustained expertise, even though it contains occasional mistakes or slips in quality |
| 4 | An adequate essay that shows competence, but which contains more than occasional mistakes or slips in quality |
| 3 | An insufficient essay that shows signs of evolving competence and features one or more specific flaws |
| 2 | A weak essay that shows serious limitations, insufficient facility, and which features one or more specific flaws |
| 1 | An essentially deficient essay that displays fundamental inability and features severe manifestations of one or more specific flaws |
| 0 | No essay written Essay that doesn’t respond to the assignment An illegible essay |
| Point of View; Critical Thinking; Examples, Reasons, and Evidence | |
|---|---|
| Score Level | Defining Characteristics |
| 6 | Impressively insightful point
of view Outstanding critical thinking Completely appropriate reasons, examples, and evidence to support point of view |
| 5 | Well-developed point of view Strong critical thinking Generally appropriate reasons, examples, and evidence to support point of view |
| 4 | Fairly well developed point
of view Adequate critical thinking Mostly appropriate reasons, examples, and evidence to support point of view |
| 3 | Develops a point of view Some evidence of critical thinking, but inconsistently apparent Sometimes inappropriate reasons, examples, and evidence to support point of view |
| 2 | Develops a vague point of view Little evidence of critical thinking Insufficient or inappropriate reasons, examples, and evidence to support point of view |
| 1 | Does not develop a point of
view No evidence of critical thinking Little or no evidence to support point of view |
| Organization, Focus, Coherence, and Flow | |
|---|---|
| Score Level | Defining Characteristics |
| 6 | Well organized Tightly focused Tight coherence Smooth flow of ideas |
| 5 | Well organized Focused Coheres reasonably well Mostly smooth flow of ideas |
| 4 | Generally organized Generally focused Shows some coherence Discernable but not particularly smooth flow of ideas |
| 3 | Partially organized Partially unfocused Some incoherent portions Interrupted or disrupted flow of ideas |
| 2 | Poorly organized Mostly unfocused Systemic problems with incoherence Flow of ideas difficult to discern |
| 1 | Disorganized Unfocused Incoherent Flow of ideas impossible to discern or entirely absent |
| Vocabulary and Use of Language | |
|---|---|
| Score Level | Defining Characteristics |
| 6 | Skilled use of language Varied, accurate, and appropriate vocabulary |
| 5 | Capable use of language Appropriate vocabulary |
| 4 | Satisfactory but inconsistent
use of language Generally appropriate vocabulary |
| 3 | Inconsistent use of language
that shows signs of evolving competence Some inappropriate word choice; weak vocabulary |
| 2 | Insufficient use of language Very limited vocabulary or incorrect word choice |
| 1 | Basic vocabulary errors |
| Sentence Structure | |
|---|---|
| Score Level | Defining Characteristics |
| 6 | Displays meaningful variety |
| 5 | Displays variety |
| 4 | Displays some variety |
| 3 | Does not display variety Displays problems |
| 2 | Displays frequent problems |
| 1 | Displays serious and widespread problems |
| Errors in Grammar and Usage | |
|---|---|
| Score Level | Defining Characteristics |
| 6 | Free of most errors |
| 5 | On the whole, free of most errors |
| 4 | Has some errors |
| 3 | Has a lot of errors |
| 2 | Has so many errors that meaning is partially hidden |
| 1 | Persistent and widespread errors that obscure meaning |
Essay A I learned a lot about life during my summer as a camp counselor. I had been going to the camp as a camper since I was eight, but this time I was going to be a counselor. I had to lead activities and make sure the campers took care of themselves in the morning and at night. I also had to make sure they behaved themselves in the dinner hall. One time a lot of the campers were misbahaving and not doing they’re morning chores. The head counselor came in and discovered the chaos in the cabin. He singled out one camper who had done everything he should of and told the other campers that they should be more like Michael. When the head counselor left, all the other campers started making fun of Michael and called him a teacher’s pet. Michael got very upset and told me he wanted to leave camp and go back home. I learned that being singled out sometimes makes you feel bad even if it is for something good. I told Michael that he should ignore what the other kids saying and stay at camp because things would get better. And they did! That summer I learned that singling someone out for something good can make them unpopular. I also learned that situations can improve if you just stick with it. |
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Your Score: |
Essay B The question of what is the experience you have learned the most from seems like an important question to me. After all, learning is very important and is the reason I am here right now. What is college about if not to learn. In order to get a job you first have to learn about the world and aquire knowledge so thats why you have to go to school for four years first. Of course, you can learn in other places as well. In fact almost anything could be considered a learning experience if you aproach it in the right way. |
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Your Score: |
Essay C I have never learned as much as when I try something new for the first time. When you do something you already know how to do, you are really just repeating the knowledge you already have. It is only when you do something you have never done before that you actually learn. The first day of school, the first day of a job, your first time going rock-climbing—these are all learning experiences. You learn new skills, discover more about yourself, meet new people etc. Usually you aren’t very good the first you try something but practice makes perfect as they say. I always try to do something new when I have the chance. Learning new things helps you develop as a person, and always gives you a sense of fulfilment. Usually it is hard to do something new and you can easily become discouraged. What you have to think about is that next time everything will be easier. Learning is what life is really all about. At the end, you can judge how well you lived by how much you learned. If you have learned alot that means you have had a successful life and should be satisfied with what you have done. |
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Your Score: |
Essay D You wouldn’t think you could learn much from a karate class apart from how to defend yourself, but I certainly did. Karate gave me so much respect for myself. I truly believe I would have turned out a very different person if I had not started taking karate lessons at the age of twelve. From the very first class, my teacher taught me the importance of wearing a clean, properly arranged uniform. I had to learn how to tie my belt in the traditional way and also how to keep it in place while doing all the exercises. If the belt comes undone, you are supposed to turn around to face the back of the class while you retie it. If you look presentable, other people will respect you, but in order to look presentable you first have to respect yourself. If you do poorly in an exercise, you can’t just feel sorry for yourself or cry like a baby. You have to put on a bold face and concentrate on doing well the next time. Nobody is going to help you if you don’t help yourself, so it is very important to do your best all the time. One time the kid next to me got punched in the nose. Screaming in pain, with blood running down his chin, I couldn’t believe how much pain he was in just because he didn’t pay attention when he should of. This taught me how important it is to concentrate and not let yourself get distracted. |
All in all, taking karate lessons taught me about alot more than just how to defend myself. It taught me how to take care of my uniform and make myself presentable. It taught me that not paying attention can get you into much worse trouble than just being told off by the teacher. I learned so much in karate that I’m glad me parents signed me up for it, even though I wasn’t crazy about getting started at the time. Your Score: |
Essay E The most meaningful learning experience of my life occurred when I helped my friend Keiko draft her first essay in English. I expected to learn a lot about Japanese culture while helping Keiko write about moving from Japan to America. What I did not expect, however, was how much I would learn about my own culture. Additionally, I was surprised by what I learned about being teacher and the experience of working in unfamiliar surroundings. Keiko grew up in Tokyo, a city I had always assumed was similar to New York, my hometown and Keiko’s home for three months. Keiko wrote about how, in Tokyo, even though it is considered a faux pas if you bump into another person on the street, people don’t mind being jostled on the crowded subway system. I realized that New Yorkers tend to follow the same behavior and expect the same sort of response from others in similar situations. What makes New York special is the attitude people display and expect others to display whatever the situation. Whether you are walking through a quiet part of Central Park or struggling through a crowd on Wall Street, people think nothing of it if you bump into them, provided that you say “Excuse Me.” Teaching Keiko how to write in English showed me how much one can lean about a subject just through the act of teaching. Helping Keiko understand the principles of English forced me to examine many grammatical rules I had never really understood before. For example, I never fully understood how to use a semicolon before researching the subject with Keiko. I truly believe that I learned as much about English as Keiko did from our lessons. I also learned that, in the process of completing the assignment, Keiko faced challenges beyond those posed by learning the rules of English. If Keiko wanted to listen to the radio, she couldn’t tune in to her favorite Tokyo music station. If she got hungry, she couldn’t ask her mother to make her favorite Japanese snack. Even doing research for her essay was a challenge—Japanese libraries are set up differently from American ones, and Keiko had to familiarize herself with a new system before she could find what she needed. |
All things considered, becoming a teacher to a friend in need was the most educational experience of my life. Having faced some of the challenges they confront everyday, I have a newfound respect for teachers and I hope to continue teaching throughout my life. Your Score: |
Essay F I have learned form many experiences, but never as much as when I read Moby-Dick. In this story, Captain Ahab learns that you can’t take revenge on an animal. Captain Ahab wants to take revenge on Moby Dick for biting off his leg, but even if he kills Moby Dick he wont have revenge. Moby Dick doesn’t know who Captain Ahab is so he wont know he is getting revenge if he kills him. Lots of the other characters in the book are interesting. Captain Ahabs crew is made up of lots of different types of people, and them getting to know each other is something that makes the book interesting. All things considered, I have never learnt as much as I did when I read Moby-Dick. English class is worthwhile when you get to read such interesting stuff. Not everything is interesting, but Moby-Dick certainly was. |
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