The Only Guide You Need to Survive the First Day of School

Unless your first name is Granger and your last name is Danger, odds are that you’re not super excited to head back to school. The first day can be a bit like the  Hunger Games, in that you’re terrified, your abrasive mentor has zero advice to offer, everyone hates you, you look gourddamn ridiculous, and you’re stuck in a giant arena, competing against your fellow youths in a government-mandated death match.

JK!  You don’t have a mentor. But the other stuff, sadly, will come to pass.

Double-JK! Everything is going to be ABSOLUTELY FINE, and we know this because the Sparkitors have survived a combined total of 128 first days of school (and that’s not even taking into consideration all the times that Elodie had to repeat 10th grade). But don’t take our word for it—take our word PLUS Kate Allan’s phenomenal illos, which we’ve combined into this slideshow to help quell your low-level nerves and/or your full-scale panic attacks. Click through, calm down, and when you wake up on that fateful morning, be sure to thrust your first skyward and shout, “First day, PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER!”

And then run like the wind, because you actually ARE in the Hunger Games. Sorry we lied. Now go do us proud.