I am not a teacher. Teachers are the real MVPs, and I don’t have the patience, the stamina, or quite frankly the intelligence to be the actual, literal backbone of society.
In fact, if I were a teacher, we would just watch The Office nonstop. “It’s sort of educational,” I would argue when inevitably brought before the school board and forced to explain myself. “You know that cold open where Dwight starts a fire? It’s reminiscent of the chaos, the inherent darkness of man, and the breakdown of society in Lord of the Flies.”
“Good point,” they would say. “Here, have a raise.”
In conclusion, my students would gain nothing from my tutelage aside from an appreciation for Jim’s hair in season 2 and an encyclopedic knowledge of Dunder-Mifflin. For a brief demonstration of my teaching style, here is (just about) every book, play, or short story you’ll read in your English class, summed up in a quote from The Office.
Related: if you’re looking for Every Shakespeare Play Summed Up in a Quote from The Office, click here!