This Is What Happened When I Used a Flip Phone for a Week
I thought that after seventh grade, I would never see a flip phone again. In my head, they were cast away with sequined shirts and crocheted hats. Yet there I was, a sixteen-year-old in 2016, whipping out a Samsung flip phone in the middle of my high school cafeteria. I was expecting questions and maybe a few weird looks, or maybe even some “hey COOL”s, but instead I was promptly greeted with a “What the eff is that?” By a stranger, no less. As if this phone smelled of reheated fish or elderberries.
Among my favorite reactions were:
- “Can I borrow that? I can finally do a 2002-Britney photo shoot featuring an authentic flip phone!” -My friend, an avid Britney Spears enthusiast.
- “Authentic.” What does the even mean
- “Can I see that thing?” “That thing”… it’s safe to say that by the end of the experiment I’d begun to feel almost defensive over it. “What are you looking at?” was my #1 most repeated phrase of the week, with “Yes, it’s a flip phone. Eff off,” as a close runner up.
Using an iPhone during school without getting caught is unbelievably easy. I turn the brightness down so the screen is barely visible and I silence all sounds. On the other hand, there’s the flip phone. There. Is. No. Silence. Option. You can hit the lower-volume button 30+ times, but there will always be a totally obnoxious noise when you get a text. This may not seem like such a big deal until it goes off in the middle of a test and you (I) have to bring it to the security office. (Only for them to chuckle at the fact that you’re using a flip phone and hand it right back to you. #NOSHAME.)
Then again, it wasn’t all bad. I mean, 99% of it was. But not all. For one thing, the battery life was impressive. I didn’t have to charge my phone for an entire 48 hours. I think our generation greatly under-appreciates how incredibly easy iPhones make our lives, guys. (S/o to Steve Jobs). Instead of checking the weather app to guide your outfit choice that day, you actually have to go outside. Insane. Or let’s say you forgot about a chemistry test you have the next day and you need to cram. My first instinct would be to watch Hank Green’s chemistry crash course on YouTube. Without this tool at my disposal, I had to calculate molar mass all by my lonesome. It just gets more startling every second, I know.
My mom thought the extra legwork would help me “absorb more information” or something, but in reality, all it did was knock an hour off of my sleeping schedule.
Has your friend ever texted you something really exciting or urgent and you both start shooting messages back and forth, one sending as soon as you receive another? This is impossible on a flip phone. Not nearly impossible… Literally impossible. First of all, it takes upwards of three minutes to send a text that contains ten words. The ancient Egyptian T9 system, in which the phone guesses what word you’re trying to type, was slightly helpful. That is, until it guessed the wrong word. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how to choose a different word without having to go back to the “Abc” option, type a letter, delete it (to get rid of the capitalization, since there was no lowercase “abc” option), and type out the word I wanted. It was as complicated as it sounds. So, sorry Rachel, but I wasn’t able to fan-girl with you about Liam Hemsworth’s new shirtless pictures for a reason.
All of this did not help the fact that people have, in the recent past, called me “Amish” to my face, simply because I didn’t get an iPhone until my freshman year of high school. True story. (And that’s only half of the problem. The other half is that they think calling someone Amish is an insult. *eyeroll*)
You can understand why I was mildly concerned walking into the lunchroom on that fateful winter day, flip phone in hand. When I was told to go look at Kylie Jenner’s latest mirror pic on Instagram and I, in response, held up my phone from 1896, I admit I felt alienated from everyone at first. But by the end of the week, I felt less alienated and more defensive: I was about ready to send the folks from Lancaster, Pennsylvania a postcard that said “I RESPECT YOU. Sincerely, Cate.”
Altogether, I think what should be taken from this experiment is that flip phones died eight years ago for the greater good of my opposable thumbs.
Weigh in on the legacy of T9 in the comments!
