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Chapter Six, FAQ #3, & Chapter Seven

Summary: Chapter Six: My Muslim Grandmother and Me

Sara hates the expression “Go back to your country,” but those words sometimes come to mind whenever Mamani, her paternal grandmother, comes from Iran for a visit. Mamani’s life has been difficult. She entered an arranged marriage at age fifteen and soon had four children. Her husband’s family abused her so badly that she attempted suicide. Mamani’s oldest son died in a plane crash when he was thirty-one. Mamani’s strong Muslim faith gives her strength, but it drives Sara crazy.

Sara recounts an event that changed how she views Mamani. One day, when Sara was younger, Mamani and Sara were alone at home. When Sara climbed up to grab a dish from a cabinet, she fell and straddled a lower cabinet door, greatly injuring her “private parts.” Unable to speak English, Mamani called Sara’s aunt Shahrzad, who called another aunt who was a nurse. Together, the older women treated Sara’s injuries. Seeing Mamani’s tears through this ordeal, Sara realized how much her grandmother loves her.

Mamani returns to Iran and resumes her active life. She dies at the age of eighty-five after being struck by a car. After Mamani’s death, Sara wishes she had tried harder to get to know her. Because of her grandmother, Sara feels defensive when people attack the Muslim religion.

Summary: Frequently Asked Question #3: Why do Iranians keep watering cans in their bathrooms?

Sara’s answer to this FAQ embarrasses her: Iranians use the watering cans to clean their butts. She explains that in Iran, as in Europe, toilets usually have bidets, which are missing from American bathrooms.

Summary: Chapter Seven: I Didn’t Ask to Raise This Anchor Baby

Sara explains that her parents waited for eight years after her birth to have another child. Kia, Sara’s baby brother, transforms Sara into a middle child and a surrogate mother. Sara walks Kia home from school every day and watches him until their parents get home from work. Kia goes everywhere with Sara. He sits in a booth while she works at the ice cream shop.

Since he was born in the United States, Kia doesn’t have to go through the humiliations of being an illegal immigrant. Sara suffers one particularly embarrassing episode when she puts on a headscarf to take a photo for her Iranian passport and one of the most popular girls at school sees her. Kia witnesses Sara’s adolescent romantic dramas, especially her long, secret crush on Evan Parker. Kia innocently betrays the secret to Ben, one of Evan’s friends. Sara erupts in anger and does not speak to Kia for days. Eventually, she forgives him. When the time comes for Sara to go to college, Kia cries, just as Sara had cried when Samira left home. Sara feels proud of Kia and of her own part in raising him.

Analysis: Chapter Six, FAQ #3, & Chapter Seven

Through the life story of Mamani, Saedi presents the positive aspects of Islam. Although her own upbringing was secular, Saedi values Islam as an important aspect of Iranian culture that she wishes mainstream America could better understand and appreciate. Sara finds her grandmother’s visits difficult, but she loves secretly watching her pray, enjoying the peace and comfort the ritual brings Mamani. Saedi emphasizes the peacefulness of Muslim practice, which stands in stark contrast to the violent way it is often portrayed by mainstream American media and political rhetoric. Mamani’s faith is depicted as quiet, contemplative, and steady, like her long walks through the city. Saedi shows Mamani’s open-minded approach to religion through the example of her visiting a church service and donating money. While American media often treats Muslim women as purely victims of oppression, Saedi celebrates Mamani’s independence. Mamani’s story provides examples of the peace and beauty of Islam as a rebuke to the Trump administration’s ban on Muslim immigration.

The headscarf Sara wears for her Iranian passport photo symbolizes her shifting relationship with Islam and her Persian identity. Although Sara is not opposed to others wearing head scarves, she has never worn one. She considers her hair her best feature, and a head scarf hides the part of herself she feels most confident about. However, in order to get her passport, a document that defines her as Iranian, she must wear one for the photo, revealing how Saedi’s everyday life is at odds with her Iranian identity. At the same time, wearing a head scarf underscores her difference from other American teenagers. This is made apparent by Sara’s embarrassment when a popular girl from school sees her getting her photo taken. As an adult, Saedi feels differently about the head scarf and regrets her discomfort, wishing she had instead responded with pride. However, Saedi contrasts the American attitude towards Islam during her adolescence with the harsher contemporary climate, noting that today it is reasonable for Muslims to feel real fear when wearing head scarves in public. Saedi uses the head scarf as a visible symbol of difference for Muslims and Iranians in the United States.

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