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Chapters Nine & Ten & FAQ #5

Summary: Chapter Nine: Thick as Thieves

Sara explains that large impromptu gatherings of noisy family members are normal in Iranian culture. Most of Sara’s relatives on her father’s side live in Iran. They stay connected through long-distance phone calls, which are awkward for Sara because she doesn’t speak Farsi very well. But many of Sara’s maternal relatives live in California, near the Saedi family. Sara grows up with nineteen first cousins.

Mehrdad Sanjideh, Sara’s maternal uncle, is the patriarch of the brood. Dayee (the term for maternal uncle) Mehrdad and his brother, Dayee Shahrdad, run a real estate appraisal business that employs family members. Dayee Mehrdad hosts new arrivals in his home, counsels everyone on their problems, and devotes himself to keeping the family together. Sara and her cousins start a club that leads to their hanging out every weekend at Dayee Mehrdad’s place. The cousins love dancing to music by the Swedish pop group ABBA. Sara feels especially grateful to her cousins Neda and Mitra, older girls who initiate her into the mysteries of fashion, boyfriends, and underage drinking. Mitra gives Sara the best day of her life by taking her to meet actor Ethan Hawke.

Summary: Chapter Ten: Divorce: Illegal Immigrant-Style

Sara witnesses frequent displays of affection between her parents, Ali and Shohreh, and knows they are in love and happy together. She loves their romantic love story. Theirs was an arranged marriage, but they fell in love at first sight and got married two weeks later. Ali and Shohreh spent the first two years of their marriage in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where Ali studied engineering at Louisiana State University. They returned to Iran after his 1974 graduation and stayed there until 1982.

In California, almost twenty years after their wedding, Ali and Shohreh Saedi get a divorce, but only because their long application process for permanent residence has stalled. When Shohreh’s mother got her green card, a new possible path to citizenship opened: Shohreh could get a green card through her mother. But to get a green card through her mother, Shohreh must be single. So, Ali and Shohreh head to Reno for a quickie divorce, the most amicable breakup in marriage history. Eventually their original immigration case gets reactivated, which requires her parents to remarry. Sara marvels at how much her parents have given up in order to secure their children a place in America, but she still feels angry over their sacrifice.

Summary: Frequently Asked Question #5: Why do Iranians always argue over the bill?

Sara explains taarof, a Persian rule of social behavior, in which politeness demands that people put up resistance when anyone offers them a favor.

Analysis: Chapters Nine & Ten & FAQ #5 

Throughout the book, Saedi emphasizes the importance of strong familial bonds. For Sara’s family, these bonds provide stability and support while they live in a country that is sometimes hostile to Iranians. Long phone calls to relatives still living in Iran allow Sara’s parents to keep alive the hope of eventually reuniting with them, even though it is currently legally impossible for them to visit. Although Sara is frustrated and ashamed that she is not fluent enough in Farsi to carry on deep conversations with distant family members, the phrases she repeats on phone calls express love and longing for them. Dayee Mehrdad goes to great lengths to ensure that the members of Sara’s generation in California grow up sharing as strong a bond as his generation did in Tehran, organizing gatherings for the extended family. The cousins share the experience of being raised by Persian parents in the United States, creating mutual understanding and a support system that Sara cannot get from her school friends. At a time when Iran is vilified in the US media, these family bonds allow Sara a safe place to develop pride in her ethnicity.

The image of Sara’s parents holding hands while riding in the car is symbolic of their continuous romantic connection, and it underscores the irony of their divorce. Although they sometimes unclasp their hands in order to navigate tricky moments of driving, they always begin holding hands again, just as they find ways to keep their marriage strong despite obstacles. During their marriage, they are separated when Ali returns to the United States for college, and they are confronted by many difficulties related to leaving Iran and living as undocumented immigrants, but they maintain their connection through love letters and through spending time together as a couple. The unwavering love between them serves to heighten the irony of their divorce, an example of the sacrifices that Sara’s parents make for the sake of their children and the way that US immigration policy forces immigrants to make painful choices just for the chance to attain legal status.

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