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Connell, the other of Normal People’s two protagonists, begins the novel in a position of strength as one of the more popular boys in high school despite his working-class background. However, he is fundamentally a passive person, content to allow others to define his personality and to live according to their expectations for him. Though Connell’s mother is Marianne’s family’s housekeeper, his social standing at school is so much higher than Marianne’s that he believes he must closely guard the secret of their sexual relationship or risk his reputation. Even so, he experiences extreme shame and guilt about both his desire for Marianne and his inability to stand up to his friends on her behalf. While in university, Connell finds himself torn between what he understands to be the socially acceptable path of dating someone other than Marianne and his ongoing desire for Marianne, which he still believes to be perverse. Connell finally embraces his feelings for and attachment to Marianne only when he is forced to take an active role in protecting her from her physically abusive older brother, Alan, in the novel’s final act. Freed from his passivity, Connell can not only be with Marianne without shame but can also define his own dreams and pursue them.
Connell struggles with depression and anxiety and is the only character in Normal People to seek mental health treatment from a professional, despite the many other instances of mental illness depicted throughout the novel. Throughout Connell’s character arc, his passivity and indecisiveness both hold him back and threaten his relationship with Marianne. His decision to take control of his mental health and go to a counselor therefore represents a turning point that demonstrates his growth in a more active direction. Connell’s decisive action to improve his own well-being lays the groundwork for taking an active role in his relationship with Marianne, from defending her against her brother to kissing her in public without shame. He thus finally completes the emotional arc of their relationship so Marianne understands the depth of his love for her.
