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Nwunye m, sometimes life begins when marriage ends.
This quotation from Part 2, Speaking with Our Spirits, comes from Aunty Ifeoma’s first visit to Abba, during her conversation with Beatrice. Aunty Ifeoma immediately establishes herself as an extremely different type of woman from Beatrice. She is outspoken and independent. By addressing Beatrice as nwunye m, she demonstrates an ability to combine Igbo and Catholic traditions seamlessly. Furthermore, despite losing her beloved husband in a car accident, she still manages to live a meaningful and vibrant life. She sees herself complete just as she is.
Eugene offered to buy me a car, even before Ifediora died? But first he wanted us to join the Knights of St. John . . . He even wanted me to stop wearing makeup! I want a new car, nwunye m, and I want to use my gas cooker again . . . But I will not ask my brother to bend over so that I can lick his buttocks to get these things.
In this quotation from Part 2, Speaking with Our Spirits, Aunty Ifeoma explains to Beatrice why she refuses to ask Eugene for more help even though her family is struggling. Aunty Ifeoma refuses to compromise her beliefs or change herself to please Eugene just so that he’ll help her. Essentially, she refuses to grant him any power over her, even if doing so might make life easier. Because she maintains this independence from Eugene, staying with her in Nsukka gives Kambili and Jaja the freedom to grow into themselves.
“Your Papa-Nnukwu is not a pagan, Kambili, he is a traditionalist,” Aunty Ifeoma said.
Aunty Ifeoma corrects Kambili in Part 2, Speaking with Our Spirits, when she takes Kambili, Jaja, and their cousins to see the mmuo procession with Papa-Nnukwu. One of the many ways Aunty Ifeoma helps Kambili imagine a different way of being is by demonstrating the possibility of both loving Igbo tradition and practicing Catholicism. Aunty Ifeoma redefines Papa-Nnukwu’s spiritual beliefs not as pagan, and therefore counter to Christianity, but as traditional, an important part of his Igbo identity. She models a life that makes room for embracing both.
I will tell him. Our father is dead, so there is no threatening heathen in my house. I want Kambili and Jaja to stay with us, at least until Easter. Pack your own things and come to Nsukka. It will be easier for you to leave when they are not there.
In this quotation from Part 2, Speaking with Our Spirits, Aunty Ifeoma demands that Beatrice allow her to take Kambili and Jaja for a while after Kambili’s hospital stay. This moment once again demonstrates Aunty Ifeoma’s unwillingness to accept Eugene’s omnipotence and also her determination to protect the people around her. Although Beatrice has offered Kambili and Jaja small comforts in the aftermath of violence, it is Aunty Ifeoma who steps in to protect them by giving them refuge away from Eugene’s wrath.
It was what Aunty Ifeoma did to my cousins, I realized then, setting higher and higher jumps for them in the way she talked to them, in what she expected of them. She did it all the time believing they would scale the rod. And they did.
Kambili has this realization about Aunty Ifeoma in Part 2, Speaking with Our Spirits, as she watches Father Amadi coach the boys at the field. Here, Kambili articulates the difference between Eugene and Aunty Ifeoma’s parenting styles. Aunty Ifeoma’s approach focuses on offering freedom, trust, and encouragement instead of ruling with fear and punishment. As a result, Amaka, Obiora, and Chima are outspoken, independent, and opinionated, growing up with a strong sense of self.
