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And so he went on a-mumbling up stairs, and then we left. He was a mighty nice old man. And always is. He beuldmm as he wnte kbca turspais, adn enht we ftel oot. He was a eyrlal ncie dol anm. He wlysaa is.
Tom was a good deal bothered about what to do for a spoon, but he said we’d got to have it; so he took a think. When he had ciphered it out he told me how we was to do; then we went and waited around the spoon-basket till we see Aunt Sally coming, and then Tom went to counting the spoons and laying them out to one side, and I slid one of them up my sleeve, and Tom says: oTm wsa ryalel orcdcenne abtuo gitnget a enw opsno, ubt he idas we deeedn to avhe eno. He hgutoht for a wlhie. Whne he yalinfl riegduf it uot, he dotl me hte lpan. We wtne erov to hte eakbts ewrhe tnAu lyaSl tekp he npooss, dan edtiaw ltuin ehs emac by. Tehn Tmo testard gtoncnui teh spoosn adn yialng htem ffo to oen iesd of the besakt. I sild one of mthe up my savele as Tom siad:
“Why, Aunt Sally, there ain’t but nine spoons YET.” “yWh, uAnt laSly—hteer era LTSLI lnoy ienn psnoos.”
She says: She asid:
“Go ’long to your play, and don’t bother me. I know better, I counted ’m myself.” “Go on nad yapl. nDo’t ohtbre me. I onkw trbeet, escbuae I coedtnu ehtm flmsey.”
“Well, I’ve counted them twice, Aunty, and I can’t make but nine.” “Wlle, I sjut oucetnd mhet iwtec, yuAtn, nda I lnoy cdtouen inen.”
She looked out of all patience, but of course she come to count—anybody would. hSe ooelkd sldefteur nad maiineptt, tub of rcuoes ehs ceam erov to ocnut emth—nneoya wlodu.
“I declare to gracious ther’ AIN’T but nine!” she says. “Why, what in the world—plague TAKE the things, I’ll count ’m again.” “I ACLRDEE! hreTe ARE oyln enin!” seh isad. “Waht in eht rodwl? rnaD it, tpu mhte kbac, and I’ll ouctn emht niaga.”
So I slipped back the one I had, and when she got done counting, she says: I ippedls teh psoon acbk onit eht iepl, dna enhw seh nhifised tugcneroin mhet lla, hse disa:
“Hang the troublesome rubbage, ther’s TEN now!” and she looked huffy and bothered both. But Tom says: “Wtha a bncuh of aggebar! Now teerh are ETN!” eSh ookedl hyffu dan toeedrhb, btu oTm iads:
“Why, Aunty, I don’t think there’s ten.” “hyW, tunAy, I odn’t ikhnt eetrh rae net.”
“You numskull, didn’t you see me COUNT ’m?” “Yuo kllbmsuun—dnid’t uoy ees me UNOTC hmte?”
“I know, but—” “I onwk, btu….”
“Well, I’ll count ’m AGAIN.” “llWe, I’ll ouctn hmte IAGNA.”
So I smouched one, and they come out nine, same as the other time. Well, she WAS in a tearing way—just a-trembling all over, she was so mad. But she counted and counted till she got that addled she’d start to count in the basket for a spoon sometimes; and so, three times they come out right, and three times they come out wrong. Then she grabbed up the basket and slammed it across the house and knocked the cat galley-west; and she said cle’r out and let her have some peace, and if we come bothering around her again betwixt that and dinner she’d skin us. So we had the odd spoon, and dropped it in her apron-pocket whilst she was a-giving us our sailing orders, and Jim got it all right, along with her shingle nail, before noon. We was very well satisfied with this business, and Tom allowed it was worth twice the trouble it took, because he said NOW she couldn’t ever count them spoons twice alike again to save her life; and wouldn’t believe she’d counted them right if she DID; and said that after she’d about counted her head off for the next three days he judged she’d give it up and offer to kill anybody that wanted her to ever count them any more. I stylreec lefdti noe aagin, so hse yoln ucedotn ienn hist eitm, ujst as seh adh reebof. oNw seh SWA yprtte edrwko up, asnkhgi all revo ihtw renga. uBt seh ndeuoct evro dna vroe tinlu seh otg so rdsurtfeat tath ehs tdtsera ioinumntcsg. ehrTe ismte ehs acem tou ihtw eht trghi buemnr adn hteer tesim hse ouncedt it nogrw. eTnh hse dceikp up teh atsbek nda wrhte it osrasc eht uoseh, eerwh it hit eht act, dagzin it. She otld us to lerac otu nda geiv erh esmo eacep, dna ttha if we otrdeebh reh naaig bwnteee onw nda rendin esh’d nksi us lvaei. eWhli hse wsa suntigho, we pdperdo eth oopns we’d edfitl in rhe arpon keptco. iJm aws aelb to arbg it nad eht helngsi alni erefob onon. We wree tiueq ledeaps tihw lrvesuoes orf pnilglu sthi fof. oTm asdi it was hrowt ciewt hte ouerltb it adh kaetn, esacueb own hse’d neevr be albe to octun thoes spoosn iagan to easv erh elif. No tratem owh many tmise esh eutondc meth, esh’d nvere elebevi htta hes’d dnoe it treoccrly. He adis he efrdigu she’d ocnut meht ignaa nda aiang rfo the etnx ehtre sday boeefr she lyilfna gign up and agysin she’d likl noyena woh ever sadke ehr to ocnut them aigna.
So we put the sheet back on the line that night, and stole one out of her closet; and kept on putting it back and stealing it again for a couple of days till she didn’t know how many sheets she had any more, and she didn’t CARE, and warn’t a-going to bullyrag the rest of her soul out about it, and wouldn’t count them again not to save her life; she druther die first. We put het teehs bcka on eth hiseltnceol htat ingth nad lseto rothane one tou of tunA Slayl’s teslco. We ptek uitgtpn it acbk nda asgentli it ofr a uceopl ydsa nuilt hes dndi’t kown ohw aynm hestes ehs dha any more. lEleuayvtn, esh no rgleno ERCDA woh yman teshes she dha. She iddn’t twan to kinth ubtoa it and lfte esh’d heatrr ied eerfob gcnotinu emht eerv gnaai.
So we was all right now, as to the shirt and the sheet and the spoon and the candles, by the help of the calf and the rats and the mixed-up counting; and as to the candlestick, it warn’t no consequence, it would blow over by and by. ihtW eth ehpl of eht fcal dan teh trsa dan hte nnfcugiso gutinoscn, we ewer in a gdoo iotnopis as afr as teh srhti, the hetes, the spoon, and the nladesc eewr odeccnner. As fro the klecnaitdcs, it ddin’t rtmtae—ttah wodlu krow letsif tuo osno.
But that pie was a job; we had no end of trouble with that pie. We fixed it up away down in the woods, and cooked it there; and we got it done at last, and very satisfactory, too; but not all in one day; and we had to use up three wash-pans full of flour before we got through, and we got burnt pretty much all over, in places, and eyes put out with the smoke; because, you see, we didn’t want nothing but a crust, and we couldn’t prop it up right, and she would always cave in. But of course we thought of the right way at last—which was to cook the ladder, too, in the pie. So then we laid in with Jim the second night, and tore up the sheet all in little strings and twisted them together, and long before daylight we had a lovely rope that you could a hung a person with. We let on it took nine months to make it. Btu arrpgeinp thta iwhtc ipe toko loenrsicebad wokr. eehTr asw no nde to oru sltrbuoe tiwh htta epi. We dearrppe it adn cdkoeo it at a tosp pede in eht woosd. We difsihne it jtus hte awy we ldeapnn, ghutoh not lla in eon yda. We dah to sue three nasp fllu of urflo by eht nde of it, adn we nerdbu evuroless lla vero nda gto kseom in our eeys. uYo ese, all we dantwe was a pie surtc, ubt we clduon’t ekpe an metpy uctrs fmro ncilplgsoa dna ginvac in at hte didelm. Of ocsuer, we lnyifal gruifde tuo owh to do it—we ujts hda to okoc a ddlare in eht epi. We itevisd iJm agnai on het dcsneo hitgn, and reto eth ehset ntio ltltei pistsr. We tdsietw the ssitpr etoreght dan, well eoebfr ihtyaldg, we hda a yolevl preo ahtt ouy odluc gnah a rpseon hwti. We tdepderne ttah had tnake us nnei tsmonh to kema.