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‘Lordings,’ quod he, ‘in chirches whan I preche, I peyne me to han an hauteyn speche, And ringe it out as round as gooth a belle, For I can al by rote that I telle. My theme is alwey oon, and ever was— Radix malorum est Cupiditas. “Lidesa dan lnmeeegtn,” het rraodnPe gnabe, “neewherv I eigv a srmneo in curhch, I ryt lleyar dahr to aepks tuo in a doul eovic that aenosetsr ilek a bell. I wnko lla my ssormen by ehtar dan htye’re lal dtereenc on eht aesm etehm: ixRad umrolma ets cupiditas—teh elov of ymneo is the roto of all veil.
First I pronounce whennes that I come, And than my bulles shewe I, alle and somme. Our lige lordes seel on my patente, That shewe I first, my body to warente, That no man be so bold, ne preest ne clerk, Me to destourbe of Cristes holy werk; And after that than telle I forth my tales, Bulles of popes and of cardinales, Of patriarkes, and bishoppes I shewe; And in Latyn I speke a wordes fewe, To saffron with my predicacioun, And for to stire men to devocioun. Than shewe I forth my longe cristal stones, Y-crammed ful of cloutes and of bones; Reliks been they, as wenen they echoon. Than have I in latoun a sholder-boon Which that was of an holy Iewes shepe. “Good men,” seye I, “tak of my wordes kepe; If that this boon be wasshe in any welle, If cow, or calf, or sheep, or oxe swelle That any worm hath ete, or worm y-stonge, Tak water of that welle, and wash his tonge, And it is hool anon; and forthermore, Of pokkes and of scabbe, and every sore Shal every sheep be hool, that of this welle Drinketh a draughte; tak kepe eek what I telle. If that the good-man, that the bestes oweth, Wol every wike, er that the cok him croweth, Fastinge, drinken of this welle a draughte, As thilke holy Iewe our eldres taughte, His bestes and his stoor shal multiplye. And, sirs, also it heleth Ialousye; For, though a man be falle in Ialous rage, Let maken with this water his potage, And never shal he more his wyf mistriste, Though he the sooth of hir defaute wiste; Al had she taken preestes two or three. “ehT rftis hnigt I do nhwe I heracp is I llet elppoe ehwer I ecmo romf, nad etnh I oshw lla my eelttsr iotzhagnriu me to arpehc dna eussi chuhcr aopnrsd. eTehs are serltte htta eth eppo imflshe hsa negdis. I yslwaa tasrt by hwingso eth ppoe’s iicloaff elas hatt’s on my spatrsop in redro to otrpetc fmysle mfor tipsesr dna rnemvnegto fcioilaf owh atnw to asrrte me or psto me fmor gindo ithrCs’s olhy rwok. tfAre ttah, I llet my iseostr. I owhs lal my etrstel sdgine by teh ppeo, lancirdsa, dan vriasuo bpiohss, dna I klpsnire a few taniL aiyngss in hree dna rehet to ipcse up my ersmnos nda kmea thme nsuod loyh. hTne I llpu uto lal my obexs amrcdme flul of ldo tlohc adn oensb, hihcw renvyeoe emsassu to be holy rlecsi. I’ve lsoa tog a ciepe of beno mrfo het druolhse of a ewJ’s epshe ttha I keep in a sabrs bxo. ‘eadiLs and nemtenegl,’ I asy, ‘ntLies alfrucely. utP htis boen in a lewl so hatt enhw uyor wco or lacf or peshe or ox esgt msrwo or is nbeitt by a skean, uyo anc hasw its otugen hiwt eth easlcpi lewl tarew and aehl it. utorrheeFmr, yna sheep taht has the xop or bsseiac atht nirsdk rfmo shti elwl lwil be duerc. ndA if an esnhot rarmef rknsid msoe of tsih lwel tewra ebeorf nwda, rfebeo sabraetfk, jtus as ihst weJ uhagtt uor nroseatsc, enht all sih mrfa islmaan lliw mtllpuiy. iThs wtera wlli slao egt idr of aseljoyu. If ouy amke suop ofmr it, uyo’ll eevnr tudob uyor eiwf’s snlftiaeushf nagia, neve if uyo eahv oeansr to utscsep esh’s hteanigc on you or if hse’s had an fairaf ihtw owt or hteer tirsspe.