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Original Text |
Modern Text |
|
Enter
BENVOLIO and
MERCUTIO
|
Enter
BENVOLIO and
MERCUTIO
|
| MERCUTIO
Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
|
MERCUTIO
Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
|
| BENVOLIO
Not to his father’s. I spoke with his man.
|
BENVOLIO
Not to his father’s. I spoke with his man.
|
| MERCUTIO
Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
5 Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
|
MERCUTIO
Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
|
| BENVOLIO
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
|
BENVOLIO
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
|
| MERCUTIO
A challenge, on my life.
|
MERCUTIO
A challenge, on my life.
|
| BENVOLIO
Romeo will answer it.
|
BENVOLIO
Romeo will answer it.
|
| MERCUTIO
10 Any man that can write may answer a letter.
|
MERCUTIO
Any man that can write may answer a letter.
|
| BENVOLIO
Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
|
BENVOLIO
Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
|
| MERCUTIO
Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
|
MERCUTIO
Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
|
| BENVOLIO
Why, what is Tybalt?
|
BENVOLIO
Why, what is Tybalt?
|
| MERCUTIO
More than Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests—one, two, and the third in your bosom. The very butcher of a silk button, a duelist, a duelist, a gentleman of the very first house of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal
passado, the
punto reverso, the
hai!
|
MERCUTIO
More than Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests—one, two, and the third in your bosom. The very butcher of a silk button, a duelist, a duelist, a gentleman of the very first house of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal
passado, the
punto reverso, the
hai!
|
| BENVOLIO
15 The what?
|
BENVOLIO
The what?
|
| MERCUTIO
The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasmines, these new tuners of accents! “By Jesu, a very good blade! A very tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these “pardon me’s,” who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? Oh, their bones, their bones!
|
MERCUTIO
The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasmines, these new tuners of accents! “By Jesu, a very good blade! A very tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these “pardon me’s,” who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? Oh, their bones, their bones!
|
|
Enter
ROMEO
|
Enter
ROMEO
|
| BENVOLIO
Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
|
BENVOLIO
Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
|
| MERCUTIO
Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench— marry, she had a better love to berhyme her—Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.— Signior Romeo,
bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
|
MERCUTIO
Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench— marry, she had a better love to berhyme her—Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.— Signior Romeo,
bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
|
| ROMEO
Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
|
ROMEO
Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
|
| MERCUTIO
20 The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?
|
MERCUTIO
The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?
|
| ROMEO
Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
|
ROMEO
Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
|
| MERCUTIO
That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
|
MERCUTIO
That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
|
| ROMEO
Meaning “to curtsy”?
|
ROMEO
Meaning “to curtsy”?
|
| MERCUTIO
Thou hast most kindly hit it.
|
MERCUTIO
Thou hast most kindly hit it.
|
| ROMEO
25 A most courteous exposition.
|
ROMEO
A most courteous exposition.
|
| MERCUTIO
Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
|
MERCUTIO
Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
|
| ROMEO
Pink for flower.
|
ROMEO
Pink for flower.
|
| MERCUTIO
Right.
|
MERCUTIO
Right.
|
| ROMEO
Why, then is my pump well flowered.
|
ROMEO
Why, then is my pump well flowered.
|
| MERCUTIO |
MERCUTIO |
| ROMEO
O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.
|
ROMEO
O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.
|
| MERCUTIO
Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.
|
MERCUTIO
Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.
|
| ROMEO
Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
|
ROMEO
Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
|
| MERCUTIO
Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
|
MERCUTIO
Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
|
| ROMEO |
ROMEO |
| MERCUTIO
I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
|
MERCUTIO
I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
|
| ROMEO
Nay, good goose, bite not.
|
ROMEO
Nay, good goose, bite not.
|
| MERCUTIO
Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp sauce.
|
MERCUTIO
Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp sauce.
|
| ROMEO
And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
|
ROMEO
And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
|
| MERCUTIO |
MERCUTIO |
| ROMEO
I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
|
ROMEO
I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
|
| MERCUTIO
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
|
MERCUTIO
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
|
| BENVOLIO
Stop there, stop there.
|
BENVOLIO
Stop there, stop there.
|
| MERCUTIO
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
|
MERCUTIO
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
|
| BENVOLIO
45 Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
|
BENVOLIO
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
|
| MERCUTIO
Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
|
MERCUTIO
Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
|
|
Enter
NURSE and her man
PETER
|
Enter
NURSE and her man
PETER
|
| ROMEO
Here’s goodly gear.
|
ROMEO
Here’s goodly gear.
|
| BENVOLIO
A sail, a sail!
|
BENVOLIO
A sail, a sail!
|
| MERCUTIO
Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
|
MERCUTIO
Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
|
| NURSE
50 Peter!
|
NURSE
Peter!
|
| PETER
Anon!
|
PETER
Anon!
|
| NURSE
My fan, Peter.
|
NURSE
My fan, Peter.
|
| MERCUTIO
Good, Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.
|
MERCUTIO
Good, Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.
|
| NURSE
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
|
NURSE
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
|
| MERCUTIO
55 God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.
|
MERCUTIO
God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.
|
| NURSE
Is it good e'en?
|
NURSE
Is it good e'en?
|
| MERCUTIO
'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
|
MERCUTIO
'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
|
| NURSE
Out upon you! What a man are you?
|
NURSE
Out upon you! What a man are you?
|
| MERCUTIO
One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
|
MERCUTIO
One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
|
| NURSE |
NURSE |
| ROMEO
I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
|
ROMEO
I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
|
| NURSE
You say well.
|
NURSE
You say well.
|
| MERCUTIO
Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.
|
MERCUTIO
Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.
|
| NURSE
If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
|
NURSE
If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
|
| BENVOLIO
65 She will indite him to some supper.
|
BENVOLIO
She will indite him to some supper.
|
| MERCUTIO
A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
|
MERCUTIO
A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
|
| ROMEO
What hast thou found?
|
ROMEO
What hast thou found?
|
| MERCUTIO
No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
|
MERCUTIO
No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
|
|
(sings)
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent.
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
|
(sings)
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent.
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
|
|
Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.
|
Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.
|
| ROMEO
I will follow you.
|
ROMEO
I will follow you.
|
| MERCUTIO
Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.
|
MERCUTIO
Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.
|
|
Exeunt
MERCUTIO and
BENVOLIO
|
Exeunt
MERCUTIO and
BENVOLIO
|
| NURSE
I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
|
NURSE
I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
|
| ROMEO |
ROMEO |
| NURSE
An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates.
(to PETER
) And thou must stand by, too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
|
NURSE
An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates.
(to PETER
) And thou must stand by, too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
|
| PETER
I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.
|
PETER
I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.
|
| NURSE
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!
(to ROMEO
) Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
|
NURSE
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!
(to ROMEO
) Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
|
| ROMEO |
ROMEO |
| NURSE
Good heart, and i' faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
|
NURSE
Good heart, and i' faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
|
| ROMEO
What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
|
ROMEO
What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
|
| NURSE
I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
|
NURSE
I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
|
| ROMEO
Bid her devise
85 Some means to come to shrift this afternoon.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
Be shrived and married.
(gives her coins) Here is for thy pains.
|
ROMEO
Bid her devise
Some means to come to shrift this afternoon.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
Be shrived and married.
(gives her coins) Here is for thy pains.
|
| NURSE
No, truly, sir. Not a penny.
|
NURSE
No, truly, sir. Not a penny.
|
| ROMEO
Go to. I say you shall.
|
ROMEO
Go to. I say you shall.
|
| NURSE |
NURSE |
| ROMEO
And stay, good Nurse. Behind the abbey wall
Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
95 Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell. Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.
|
ROMEO
And stay, good Nurse. Behind the abbey wall
Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell. Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.
|
| NURSE
Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
|
NURSE
Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
|
| ROMEO
What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?
|
ROMEO
What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?
|
| NURSE
100 Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
“Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?
|
NURSE
Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
“Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?
|
| ROMEO
Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
|
ROMEO
Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
|
| NURSE
Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing.—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man. But, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not
rosemary and
Romeo begin both with a letter?
|
NURSE
Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing.—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man. But, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not
rosemary and
Romeo begin both with a letter?
|
| ROMEO
Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an
R.
|
ROMEO
Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an
R.
|
| NURSE |
NURSE |
| ROMEO
Commend me to thy lady.
|
ROMEO
Commend me to thy lady.
|
| NURSE
Ay, a thousand times.—Peter!
|
NURSE
Ay, a thousand times.—Peter!
|
| PETER
Anon!
|
PETER
Anon!
|
| NURSE
Before and apace.
|
NURSE
Before and apace.
|
|
Exeunt
|
Exeunt
|
Original Text |
Modern Text |
|
Enter
BENVOLIO and
MERCUTIO
|
Enter
BENVOLIO and
MERCUTIO
|
| MERCUTIO
Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
|
MERCUTIO
Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home tonight?
|
| BENVOLIO
Not to his father’s. I spoke with his man.
|
BENVOLIO
Not to his father’s. I spoke with his man.
|
| MERCUTIO
Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
5 Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
|
MERCUTIO
Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
|
| BENVOLIO
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
|
BENVOLIO
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
|
| MERCUTIO
A challenge, on my life.
|
MERCUTIO
A challenge, on my life.
|
| BENVOLIO
Romeo will answer it.
|
BENVOLIO
Romeo will answer it.
|
| MERCUTIO
10 Any man that can write may answer a letter.
|
MERCUTIO
Any man that can write may answer a letter.
|
| BENVOLIO
Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
|
BENVOLIO
Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
|
| MERCUTIO
Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
|
MERCUTIO
Alas, poor Romeo! He is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
|
| BENVOLIO
Why, what is Tybalt?
|
BENVOLIO
Why, what is Tybalt?
|
| MERCUTIO
More than Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests—one, two, and the third in your bosom. The very butcher of a silk button, a duelist, a duelist, a gentleman of the very first house of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal
passado, the
punto reverso, the
hai!
|
MERCUTIO
More than Prince of Cats. Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rests—one, two, and the third in your bosom. The very butcher of a silk button, a duelist, a duelist, a gentleman of the very first house of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal
passado, the
punto reverso, the
hai!
|
| BENVOLIO
15 The what?
|
BENVOLIO
The what?
|
| MERCUTIO
The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasmines, these new tuners of accents! “By Jesu, a very good blade! A very tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these “pardon me’s,” who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? Oh, their bones, their bones!
|
MERCUTIO
The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasmines, these new tuners of accents! “By Jesu, a very good blade! A very tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these “pardon me’s,” who stand so much on the new form, that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? Oh, their bones, their bones!
|
|
Enter
ROMEO
|
Enter
ROMEO
|
| BENVOLIO
Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
|
BENVOLIO
Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
|
| MERCUTIO
Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench— marry, she had a better love to berhyme her—Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.— Signior Romeo,
bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
|
MERCUTIO
Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but a kitchen-wench— marry, she had a better love to berhyme her—Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.— Signior Romeo,
bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
|
| ROMEO
Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
|
ROMEO
Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
|
| MERCUTIO
20 The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?
|
MERCUTIO
The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?
|
| ROMEO
Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
|
ROMEO
Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
|
| MERCUTIO
That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
|
MERCUTIO
That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
|
| ROMEO
Meaning “to curtsy”?
|
ROMEO
Meaning “to curtsy”?
|
| MERCUTIO
Thou hast most kindly hit it.
|
MERCUTIO
Thou hast most kindly hit it.
|
| ROMEO
25 A most courteous exposition.
|
ROMEO
A most courteous exposition.
|
| MERCUTIO
Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
|
MERCUTIO
Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
|
| ROMEO
Pink for flower.
|
ROMEO
Pink for flower.
|
| MERCUTIO
Right.
|
MERCUTIO
Right.
|
| ROMEO
Why, then is my pump well flowered.
|
ROMEO
Why, then is my pump well flowered.
|
| MERCUTIO |
MERCUTIO |
| ROMEO
O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.
|
ROMEO
O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.
|
| MERCUTIO
Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.
|
MERCUTIO
Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.
|
| ROMEO
Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
|
ROMEO
Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
|
| MERCUTIO
Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
|
MERCUTIO
Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
|
| ROMEO |
ROMEO |
| MERCUTIO
I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
|
MERCUTIO
I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
|
| ROMEO
Nay, good goose, bite not.
|
ROMEO
Nay, good goose, bite not.
|
| MERCUTIO
Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp sauce.
|
MERCUTIO
Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp sauce.
|
| ROMEO
And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
|
ROMEO
And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
|
| MERCUTIO |
MERCUTIO |
| ROMEO
I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
|
ROMEO
I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
|
| MERCUTIO
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
|
MERCUTIO
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable. Now art thou Romeo. Now art thou what thou art—by art as well as by nature, for this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
|
| BENVOLIO
Stop there, stop there.
|
BENVOLIO
Stop there, stop there.
|
| MERCUTIO
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
|
MERCUTIO
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
|
| BENVOLIO
45 Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
|
BENVOLIO
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
|
| MERCUTIO
Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
|
MERCUTIO
Oh, thou art deceived. I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant, indeed, to occupy the argument no longer.
|
|
Enter
NURSE and her man
PETER
|
Enter
NURSE and her man
PETER
|
| ROMEO
Here’s goodly gear.
|
ROMEO
Here’s goodly gear.
|
| BENVOLIO
A sail, a sail!
|
BENVOLIO
A sail, a sail!
|
| MERCUTIO
Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
|
MERCUTIO
Two, two—a shirt and a smock.
|
| NURSE
50 Peter!
|
NURSE
Peter!
|
| PETER
Anon!
|
PETER
Anon!
|
| NURSE
My fan, Peter.
|
NURSE
My fan, Peter.
|
| MERCUTIO
Good, Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.
|
MERCUTIO
Good, Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.
|
| NURSE
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
|
NURSE
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
|
| MERCUTIO
55 God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.
|
MERCUTIO
God ye good e'en, fair gentlewoman.
|
| NURSE
Is it good e'en?
|
NURSE
Is it good e'en?
|
| MERCUTIO
'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
|
MERCUTIO
'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
|
| NURSE
Out upon you! What a man are you?
|
NURSE
Out upon you! What a man are you?
|
| MERCUTIO
One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
|
MERCUTIO
One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
|
| NURSE |
NURSE |
| ROMEO
I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
|
ROMEO
I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
|
| NURSE
You say well.
|
NURSE
You say well.
|
| MERCUTIO
Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.
|
MERCUTIO
Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.
|
| NURSE
If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
|
NURSE
If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
|
| BENVOLIO
65 She will indite him to some supper.
|
BENVOLIO
She will indite him to some supper.
|
| MERCUTIO
A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
|
MERCUTIO
A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
|
| ROMEO
What hast thou found?
|
ROMEO
What hast thou found?
|
| MERCUTIO
No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
|
MERCUTIO
No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie—that is, something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
|
|
(sings)
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent.
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
|
(sings)
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent.
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
|
|
Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.
|
Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner, thither.
|
| ROMEO
I will follow you.
|
ROMEO
I will follow you.
|
| MERCUTIO
Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.
|
MERCUTIO
Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, lady.
|
|
Exeunt
MERCUTIO and
BENVOLIO
|
Exeunt
MERCUTIO and
BENVOLIO
|
| NURSE
I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
|
NURSE
I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
|
| ROMEO |
ROMEO |
| NURSE
An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates.
(to PETER
) And thou must stand by, too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
|
NURSE
An he speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, an he were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills. I am none of his skains-mates.
(to PETER
) And thou must stand by, too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure?
|
| PETER
I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.
|
PETER
I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as soon as another man if I see occasion in a good quarrel and the law on my side.
|
| NURSE
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!
(to ROMEO
) Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
|
NURSE
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!
(to ROMEO
) Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
|
| ROMEO |
ROMEO |
| NURSE
Good heart, and i' faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
|
NURSE
Good heart, and i' faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
|
| ROMEO
What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
|
ROMEO
What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
|
| NURSE
I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
|
NURSE
I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
|
| ROMEO
Bid her devise
85 Some means to come to shrift this afternoon.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
Be shrived and married.
(gives her coins) Here is for thy pains.
|
ROMEO
Bid her devise
Some means to come to shrift this afternoon.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
Be shrived and married.
(gives her coins) Here is for thy pains.
|
| NURSE
No, truly, sir. Not a penny.
|
NURSE
No, truly, sir. Not a penny.
|
| ROMEO
Go to. I say you shall.
|
ROMEO
Go to. I say you shall.
|
| NURSE |
NURSE |
| ROMEO
And stay, good Nurse. Behind the abbey wall
Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
95 Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell. Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.
|
ROMEO
And stay, good Nurse. Behind the abbey wall
Within this hour my man shall be with thee
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell. Be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
Farewell. Commend me to thy mistress.
|
| NURSE
Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
|
NURSE
Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
|
| ROMEO
What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?
|
ROMEO
What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?
|
| NURSE
100 Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
“Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?
|
NURSE
Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
“Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?
|
| ROMEO
Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
|
ROMEO
Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
|
| NURSE
Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing.—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man. But, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not
rosemary and
Romeo begin both with a letter?
|
NURSE
Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ’twas a little prating thing.—Oh, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard, but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer man. But, I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not
rosemary and
Romeo begin both with a letter?
|
| ROMEO
Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an
R.
|
ROMEO
Ay, Nurse, what of that? Both with an
R.
|
| NURSE |
NURSE |
| ROMEO
Commend me to thy lady.
|
ROMEO
Commend me to thy lady.
|
| NURSE
Ay, a thousand times.—Peter!
|
NURSE
Ay, a thousand times.—Peter!
|
| PETER
Anon!
|
PETER
Anon!
|
| NURSE
Before and apace.
|
NURSE
Before and apace.
|
|
Exeunt
|
Exeunt
|
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