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ROMEO Why, then is my pump well flowered.
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ROMEO Well, then my
pumpRomeo plays along: pump= shoe and penis. pump is well decorated with flowers. |
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MERCUTIO
30Sure wit, follow me this jest now till thou hast worn out thy
pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain,
after the wearing solely singular.
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MERCUTIO Alright my witty friend, this joke has worn out your pump. Its
thin skin is all worn out. The joke is all you have left.
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ROMEO O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.
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ROMEO This is a bad joke. It’s all silliness.
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MERCUTIO Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits faints.
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MERCUTIO Come break this up, Benvolio. I’m losing this duel of
wits.
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ROMEO Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry a
match.
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ROMEO Keep going, keep going, or I’ll declare myself the
winner.
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MERCUTIO Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done, for thou
hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I
have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
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MERCUTIO Now, if our jokes go on a wild-goose chase, I’m finished.
You have more wild goose in one of your jokes than I have in five of
mine. Was I even close to you in the chase for the goose?
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ROMEO
35Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for
the goose.
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ROMEO You were never with me for anything if you weren’t there
for the goose.
Romeo implies that Mercutio is only good for jokes. |
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MERCUTIO I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
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MERCUTIO I’ll bite you on the ear for that joke.
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ROMEO Nay, good goose, bite not.
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ROMEO No, good goose, don’t bite me.
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MERCUTIO Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting. It is a most sharp
sauce.
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MERCUTIO Your joke is a very bitter apple. Your humor is a spicy
sauce.
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ROMEO And is it not well served into a sweet goose?
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ROMEO Then isn’t it just the right dish for a sweet
goose?
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MERCUTIO
40Oh, here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch
narrow to an ell broad!
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MERCUTIO Oh, that’s a joke made out of leather that spreads itself
thin, from the width of an inch to as fat as a yard.
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